Do I Dazzle You? Pfft... That's A Silly Question.

The other day I received an email from my friend Stacy in Virginia. It seems Stacy and my other friend Beth have been feeling rather sorry for me that my husband is deployed and I am all alone-with no man to watch over me.

The email was rather cryptic-but I knew that they had decided to send me a little gift... something I am sure they found on-line while drunk and ignoring their own husbands.

Well... Saturday I received their package.

I did not even realize that I had a package on my front porch until late in the afternoon. I grabbed a knife and started cutting the tape to this rather large, flat package.

As I pulled the cardboard box apart I saw a pair of shoes staring back at me.

My heart started to flutter and I yelled... no... I screamed for my oldest daughter to come quickly. She ran to me as if I was on fire-that is how urgent my voice sounded, which made me think that the next time I needed her to take her laundry downstairs or needed her to wash the dishes, I just need to scream as if I have fallen and broken a hip and I need her help.

Anyway... I start to open the package and Hope sees the shoes as well and starts to scream. She screamed so loud that I think people in Canada may have heard her. If you are from Canada and reading this blog today-please let me know if you heard Hope and her primal-guttural screams on Saturday.

This is what Stacy and Beth-my wonderful, beer chugging, husband complaining, Twilight freak-loving, cougar friends sent me...

That's right... come to mama. Do you see how he is leaning into me?

Hope has invited all of her friends over to take a picture with Edward Cullen. She has even made the statement that from now on, any picture we take, Edward has to be in it as well. I can't wait to see her prom pictures in 5 years!

So, it has become perfectly clear to me that I have the best friends in the world!

Now, you must know that Edward has cooked dinner with me, watched television with me, folded laundry with me... and I can neither confirm nor deny if he has watched me shower. Ahem.

The first night I had him in the corner of my bedroom and The Ward called me on my web cam and saw a man-a vampire no less-standing in the corner of our bedroom. He calmed down after he found out it was a cardboard cut-out, but he still told my life sized Edward that he had his eye on him and that he better not make any moves on his girl. Sigh-my husband is such a scrapper, I didn't have the heart to tell him that he would not be able to win a fight with a vampire.

When I turned the lights out to go to sleep, I freaked out a little that Edward was standing in the corner of my bedroom watching me sleep... so I moved him into the walk-in closet and apologized for my shyness.

The second night was much better and he has not moved from his post-watching over me. He will stay there until August when The Ward comes home and then I will move him into Hope's room-but promise to visit him every day.

Stacy told me that Beth's concern was whether or not he would fit in my bed.

I was shocked at her insinuation...

Of course he would fit in my bed, come hell or high water, he would fit in my bed. He is a little stiff... but hey... I ain't complaining.

giggle.