Me Mothers A Decent Irish Woman...

St. Patty's day has always been near and dear to my heart. I love being Irish. I do. I think that being Irish is just about the best thing that anyone could be... and I am Irish.... I mean, I am really really Irish...

But... because I married someone with a non-Irish last name, no one realizes that I am one of the Chosen people of God.

No one knows just how Irish I am. Curiously, this really pisses me off.

Before I was married I had the greatest last name in the world. I mean, it was so great and so Irish that other Irish people were jealous of me.

But now I have a German last name and am married to a half-German, half-Puerto Rican man. How do things like this happen? My husband would have made a great Irishman... and I believe that he wants nothing more out of life than to be able to join our family and be just as Irish as we are.

But he isn't... and he gave me a German last name.

You know, come to think of it, maybe he would not have made a great Irishman. Let's look at the facts shall we?

Unable to refuse alcohol
Thinks I know it all
Thinks I am superior
Drinks like a fish on Saturday but is always at Mass on Sunday
Likes potatoes
Says things like "Jesus Mary and Joseph" when I find something ridiculous.
I don't cuss... unless you consider the word "fook" a curse word.

Level headed
Designated Driver
Takes other people's opinions into consideration
Thinks all men are equal
Drinks responsibly on Saturday and gets me out of bed for Mass every Sunday
Likes rice
Says things in some crazy mixed up language (Spanish) when he finds something ridiculous.
He cusses... but again, it is in some language that I do not understand.

God Bless him... but he would be kicked out of Ireland if he requested citizenship.

My children on the other hand are just as proud of their Irish heritage as I am. I have taught them well, and although they may or may not be able to get more financial assistance if they check the "Hispanic" box on their college applications (because after all, they are Quarter-Ricans) I still want to make sure they know that they are more Irish than anything else.

They are part of the Chosen Ones.

But TODAY... everyone is Irish. That is right, even my German/Puerto Rican husband. So go out and have some green beer (I will be drinking regular beer thank you very much-only non Irish people drink green beer. pfft.) If you really want to be Irish, get yourself in a fight at the pub because someone may have possibly made a reference to what you think may be an insult to your dear Mother. God Bless her.

And then wake up tomorrow morning and drag yourself into confession.

Yes, I know that I posted this video last year on St. Paddy's day... but it just makes me laugh my arse off each time I see it. It is like a window into my childhood.

God Bless the Irish
God Bless me Irish Mother and Da
God Bless me Irish children
God Bless me non-Irish husband... sigh.


momto5minnies said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day from your
1/2 Norwegian blogging friend


Layna said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day to the Six Pack and Aunt Barbara!!!! Corned beef simmerin' + soda bread risin' + Guiness chillin' + my shamrock tattoo = homage to St. Patrick!

PS thanks for the new "fookin'" word for my jesus mary & joseph. much needed!

Kathleen's world said...

Can I claim more Irish-ness than you since I am single and still have my beloved O' name?

And - everyone is NOT Irish today. They just pretend to be Irish today in hopes of being as cool as we are ...

Happy St. Pat's Day!
(Also will be enjoying a non-green beer today.)

june cleaver said...

oh Sunny... you have no idea how green with envy I am for your last O'name.


Don't marry anyone unless he is either Irish-or agrees to take your name.

Rebecca said...

Happy St. Patty's day! I learned today that St. Patrick was actually from Scotland but moved to Ireland. Now I'm wondering how the "kiss me I'm Irish" started. I'm Irish, German, Norwegian and something else too. I'm a mutt but I'm an Irish mutt with the freckles and sun burn to prove it. ;)

Schmoochiepoo said...

LOL! Nothin wrong with a German last name....unless there is a lot of sch's then you gotta get the phlegm {sp?} thing going.

Happy St Patricks Day!

I'll raise my glass of green milk.
{not as gross os it sounds}

Kasia said...

And - everyone is NOT Irish today. They just pretend to be Irish today in hopes of being as cool as we are ...

Which is exactly why I refuse to pretend to be Irish today.

I think bein' Irish is a grand t'ing indeed...but I'm not, and I won't pretend to be just so I can drink some watered-down nasty green beer at seven in the morning.

However, while I carefully avoided wearing green today, I also left my jacket at home and switched tote bags, so I would not taunt my Irish boss (who has a spectacularly Irish name) with ORANGE on ST. PATRICK'S DAY...man, you should've seen how he flipped when I followed our 2006-07 green-covered directory with an orange-covered directory.

See, I just wanted something that would be easy to spot on my desk, wasn't a color we'd used recently (blue and yellow both had been used), and wasn't pink (which would've offended the men who make up the lion's share of our constituents). I tried pointing out of him that the Irish flag has orange on it too, but he was having none of it, the stinker..

Anyway, top o'the...um, well, afternoon? to all of you'se...and never fear, I feel Cris' pain...I had this great last name until I got married, and now my name is like the French-Canadian Smith...and I always loved to mock the French.

(I did tease my husband for a while, shortly before the wedding, by suggesting that he trade surnames with one of the local Polish priests, so I could have a respectable "-ski" or "-uszko" or "-ovich" instead of his poutine-ish last name. He was less than amused.)

the Mom said...

Alas, I gave up my lovely Irish name for a German one that sounds like someone is trying to hock something up. My only consolation is that it is also a curse word, so I can say bad things and my sweet mother can do nothing about it.

Jenny @ Irish by Marriage said...

Ah, I married into the nice Irish name and I use it to my advantage. = )

Hope you have a great one!

june cleaver said...

Man Jenny... you are a lucky girl. I mean, you aren't Irish-but people THINK you are because you married an Irish fellow.

You are so smart.

I have to admit though that it pisses me off a bit that I AM Irish and people don't know it because of my German married last name... and there you are, not even Irish and people believe you to be because you somehow suckered a good Irish boy to marry you.

I bet he is Cat'lic too isn't he Jenny?

Did you promise him beer Jenny?

Did you promise him a pot of gold?

You should be ashamed of yerself.

Happy St. Paddy's day to ya!


Anonymous said...

and there's a Mc under my German married name. So today I wore the green and let everyone know that I'm Irish!
Have a great night at the pub...I mean the concert! You know the O'Nickleback concert.
Aunt Barbara

col said...

The trick is to be Irish (O') and to marry someone even more flippin' Irish than yerself. I used to tell my hubby that I married him for his accent. Better than marryin' him for his gold, I suppose!

Mairin :o) said...

When I told my Dad that my fiance was German and Polish (German AND Polish!)with nary a hint of Irish, he paused for a long while then said sadly, "Well, I guess that's ok".

southernjoy said...

I think the quarter-rican thing is the funniest ever!