Spare the Rod... Spoil the Child

A 14 year old Trenton New Jersey girl has been arrested for posting nude pictures of herself on her myspace page. What are the charges? Child Pornography. What are the consequences? She may have to register as a sex-offender for the rest of her life. Who is to blame? Mom and Dad.

Wake up Mom and Dad! Are you serious? Your daughter just posted 30 nude pictures of herself so that her boyfriend could view them. What are you gonna do now... and whatever it is... are you too late?

Wanna know what my dad would have done? He would have beat my ass-that is what.

When I was a kid, I feared many things. One of those things was my father. I knew that if I even thought of doing something so obscenely wrong, my world would have been annihilated by the one man who was trying to get me through adolescents with as few scrapes and bruises possible.

Did I think he was unfair? Yes. Did I think he was uncool? Yes.

Did he give a rats ass if I thought he was a tyrant whose soul purpose in life was to ruin my social standing? Nope.

What is it with kids today? Sure, you could blame the Internet, television, movies, and music... but who allows them free access to these things? Mom and Dad.

How about setting some standards in your home-we all know what standards are right? They are RULES. We have rules in our house-and one of them is a wooden spoon.

My son knows the wooden spoon very well-heck, it even took up residence above his bedroom door for a few years.

I love when critics of "spanking" and "discipline" call this corporal punishment. There are all kinds of "studies" out there that show spanking to be the cause of alcoholism, anxiety, depression and drug abuse blah blah blah... Hmmm-I wonder where the studies are for the kids who weren't disciplined and were allowed to walk all over mom and dad and be "independent" and a "free spirit" during those precious childhood years. Oh wait... I think we may be able to look at that 14 year old girl at the top of this post and figure that one out.

As for my relationship with my father-it is great. He and I are extremely close and I am thankful that my mom and dad took on the job of parenting seriously. I can honestly say that I would not be here today if it were not for my parents and their strong discipline.

Did I think it was unfair that I was only allowed to go out one night of the weekend? Yes.

Did I think it was unfair when my father would pick up the other end of the phone after only 10 minutes of talking to a friend and say "Time to get off the phone... now"? Yes.

Did I think it was unfair that I couldn't date a boy until I was a sophomore in high school and on my first date my dad followed us the entire night in his car? Yes.

Did I eventually stop getting asked out on dates because I had a great big father who made teenage boys squirm by simply looking at them? Yes.

Now, I am not saying I was the perfect child-ha! Far from it... but the amount of trouble I did get into in no way compares to the amount of trouble I could have gotten into if I did not have parents who were willing to make me tow the line.

So stop being selfish parents! The first job you have is to get your kids through life in a loving and fair way. This is the job we have been handed... if you aren't going to do your job-then I don't want my kid hanging out with your kid and I will have no problem telling you why.

So Wake Up before you find your daughter's "real" myspace page (not the fake one she told you about and gave you the password to so that you can be fooled into thinking she is still best friends with her kindergarten buddy and still wears ribbons in her hair) or before you are taking your son to the doctor because he has a mysterious rash that won't go away.

They may hate you for it now... but one day they will thank you for standing up for their life.
Oh-and don't forget to PRAY!!!


Christine said...

Love it. I cannot watch Supernanny for the very fact I can't believe there are people out there that are complete doorknobs.

Discipline is lacking in this country. And Prayers

TheSeeker said...

so So SO true!! Stuff like this is ridiculous. What is a 14 year old girl doing unsupervised on a computer anyway?? She has no business on that hell hole called Myspace. Gross.

Anonymous said...

Hey! I mostly lurk here, but faithfully so...lol. My dad followed us in a car as well and our made sure he was throughly cleaning guns when I got picked up. Hey!Thought you mght want to know about this new military blog out. You will enjoy his sense of humor given yours. The posts for next week are hilarious. He and his battalion are headed out in a few days for Al Asad. Hope your hubs is okay, too. www.castrapraetoria1.blogspot.com

Cheryl said...

A friend of my 14yo son sent pictures of his girlfriend around on his cell, too. He's been talked to by the police and so have all the kids in his cell phone number list.

My ex is a registered sex offender because of computer porn and I am trying my damndest to keep his influence on my boys to a minimum even though we share custody. (Not even gonna start on that one...)

june cleaver said...

Hope! Good to see you again... I have you on the prayer list on the sidebar. Did you deploy yet? Keep me updated!

Be Safe!

warren said...

I'll tell you June...this is all so true...so many people want to be friends with their kids...it's insane. They need tender ties and some freedom and all that, but when it comes down to it, they are kids and need to be taught right and fast what is right and wrong...no pussy footing around it...

as for "Did I eventually stop getting asked out on dates because I had a great big father who made teenage boys squirm by simply looking at them?"
It's the main reason I hit the gym every day...I am gonna kick anyone's ass who messes with my kids...and I am gonna break in two any pencil neck who lays a hand on my daughter...and I am gonna kick my son's ass if he lays hand on anyone else's daughter

Oh wait...that's all hypothetical and cannot be used in a court of law...

june cleaver said...

Warren... TheWard has the same philosophy for his daughters and son.

It takes a strong man to be a good father.

The Wannabe Redhead said...

I was terrified of my dad when I was growing up. Hell, I have many moments where I'm STILL scared Sh*%less of him. But (I hope) it's made me a better person overall...

Don't get me wrong, I'm now brave enough to 'fight back' from time to time...but I'm usually a good 10yards away from him before saying anything (I'm getting to be a fast runner and he's getting to be an old man--works out well for me)!

Whenever I become a parent, I'm going to use the same scare tactics my parents used. Like you said...kids need parents to make them tow the line!

Great post!

Mimi said...

I've gotta say it does not work for all kids. We spanked my son when he was little. Then he would go to the preschool the next day & hit someone who he felt was doing something wrong. Then we would spank him because he was suspended, hmm the circle of violence just continued.

Making your kids scared shitless of you may work for some folks, but if kids are scared shitless of you, will then really come & tell you when they're in trouble? Will they confide in you the things that you would want to know?

I speak from experience. A girl who's parents made sure not to "spare the rod" found herself in trouble. She had no one to turn to. She made a horrible choice instead of telling her parents since she was scared shitless of them. Now they all have to live with the tragic consequences.

My only point is that every child is different & what may work for one will not necessarily work for all. I believe, the issue is much more gray than black & white.

Anonymous said...

My parents used the wooden paddle - after a few times the three of us figured out we needed to obey. Period. Most kids have enough friends - they want parents.

Anonymous said...

With respect to Mimi's comments....there is a difference with administering the rod with love and administering the rod with anger.

Kids know the difference and trust me it works.

Sarah (JOT) said...

The key, I think, that June is trying to tell us: parents PLUG THE FOOK IN with your kids. Be connected; pay attention; don't be afraid to discipline your kids and be prepared to not be liked in the process. I just had the don't fook with me conversation with my oldest boy and told him if he didn't believe me, he could talk to aunt Mary and uncle Bill (my siblings). My anger directed hits the mark hard. Fortunately, BECAUSE I have stayed tuned in, spanked when necessary, lectured, disciplined in other ways . . . our kids are okay. They aren't great, but what kid is? My kids do not get a second chance with some behaviours, simple as that.

Lori said...

Personally my mom used the fly swatter, and boy the sound of that thing when wacked on the kitchen table was enough to put us in line.

Now my husband he needed something a bit stronger, I think his dad used a piece of fire hose.

Great post June, this ones been brewing a while!
Love ya,

Out on a Limb said...

I had an experience this weekend where a 13 year old girl from church asked me if I "wanted to take this outside lady" as she puffed out her chest at me. This isn't an inner city kid with a horrible upbringing. This is a suburban girl with two parents who try too hard to be her friend. I'm telling you I was thisclose to taking it outside and I even told her so. LOL! I just didn't want to be arrested.

I can't begin to make judgments on anyone with teenagers as mine aren't that old yet, but I can assure you if it were my kid that said that, I would have backhanded them right there. (And mom was standing right there with me).

Anyway, all of that to say I whole-heartedly agree.

Paula said...

My mom spanked us and we all turned out good....I spanked my kids and one turned out okay and the other followed another path. Am I sorry I spanked them? Nope! Do I think spanking him had anything to do with how he turned out? Nope! I think it is a decision parents need to make for themselves. But there are sure plenty of problems in this world since the good Dr. Spock started teaching that spanking kids was wrong! Good luck parents....

Schmoochiepoo said...

I agree 150%.

The only thing worse than the knowledge that when Dad got home I was going to get my butt spanked was the look of dissapointment in his eyes. I remember every spanking I got from my Dad and what I did to deserve it.

I'm almost 40 and I still strive to never ever see that look.

I work with a lot of teenagers and observe younger kids with their parents /friends and I cannot believe how rude, entitled, lazy and obnoxious they are. I am worried about the future.

Jud said...

My rear still stings when I think about the whack of a wooden spoon! My mother even snapped one in two once. My father tended to use a belt. He wore a uniform and would slowly take off the thick, black belt. The tension was incredible. And a spanking from him came after the one from mom.

And Lord help you if you had disgraced the family by getting in trouble at church or school. Whatever penalty the most devious assistant principal could devise paled in comparison to what would happen at home.

I agree with those who said the worst was the look of disappointment in their eyes. I find that being disappointed with my daughter works as well as the whippin's.

Thanks June!

Mary said...

Preach it, sistah! Children need to have a strong sense of right and wrong and CONSEQUENCES instilled in them by their parents. My parents didn't do a lot of spanking, but I can safely say I deserved every one of them. I didn't like spanking my kids, either, but I did it on occasion--when they needed it.

The fear of your parents should be similar to the fear of God. A healthy respect and the knowledge that they make the rules, for your own good. When you transgress, you will get what you deserve, but they will never stop loving you.

Counselormama said...

I wish corporal punishment would be brought back to public schools, then we could use something to motivate the kids to behave!

TRO said...

This may have been said before and I don't know because I am much to lazy to read the comments, but here are my opinions on this matter:

1. Parents do not need to be "friends" with their young kids. That comes later in life when they are like 30 and have their own kids.

2. Corporal punishment is a good thing when used in a rational, judicious, and non-abusive manner. Parents should do it. Schools should be allowed to do it. Any other line of thought on this topic is liberal bullshit.

3. Child porn charges against this girl are way out of line. The parents need to ground her forever and she should have to do some really nasty community service on a much, much lesser charge.

There, I have spoken. So let it be written, so let it be done.

That Girl said...

I agree! My mom used to always pick up the phone and tell me to hang up now.

Stephanie said...

OH my god no kidding. I have the perfect example of a little darling who was allowed to do what the hell he wanted to. Remember John Walker Linde aka Johnny Taliban? He was a special boy, who got to wander all over hell as a teenager, even to Yemen and then to Pakistan to study in a Madrasa, and then he finds himself at an Al Queda training camp during 9-11. And he is captured in Afghanistan and ends up being taken to Mazr i Sherif where there is an uprising of captured Taliban and Al Queda fighters and after a CIA Agent, who had three little kids and a beautiful wife at home was EXECUTED, they find mummys dear little boy in the rubble looking like a piece of lice covered filth. Yep this is the prime example of why sometimes a good swift kick in the ASS is the best medicine a brat can get.

Urban Mom said...

LOVED this post! Nobody stands a chance against the Urban Dad. And I'm a beeyotch and a half, so that's covered too. I have a Facebook flair that says, "mean moms have good kids." My sister is a cop -- she would love it if more parents opened up a can of whoop-ass now and then. Her job would be so much easier. Oh, and a friend of mine is married to a computer geek who knows how load software that reports on EVERYwhere a user goes. His daughters don't stand a chance. I plan to pay him for his talents in the future.

And if pix of the U-Kids end up on MySpace anyway? I'll slow down in front of the nunnery long enough for them to tuck and roll out of the car.

Good on Ya for this post!

Peace out,

Stacy C. said...

Cheers to you, June!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting this! I am a teacher, and it is absolutely amazing how parents ignore their children. My mother had 3 girls and she gave up everything for us, so it has been a shock for me to see how much my students are ignored by their parents. The TV and Playstation have become babysitters. A lot of people don't talk to their kids at all. Parents act all kinds of upset when they find out their child is misbehaving in school, but the minute it's time to be consistent and actually RAISE a child, they don't want to do it because they need to live their life. It is so sad, because the ones who pay for this are the kids. Of course, not all parents are this way. There are really wonderful parents out there too. But it is very upsetting to be blamed for the downfall of education, when teachers are not the root of the problem. Without parent support, a teacher is powerless. Teachers do their best with what they get, but no teacher can control what her kids go home to at night, or the people who shape their values, self-esteem, and beliefs. Again, thank you so much for posting this, and for making the decision to raise your kids. It's the hardest, most important job you will ever do!

Robin said...

I wrote a post about spanking a long time ago. Just the other day I got "hate comment" by some woman who said I needed parenting classes and my kids were probably just so afraid of me.

They better be. I refuse to have kids who turn into disobedient brats who can't control themselves. They also know I love them to the ends of the earth.

Anonymous said...

On a serious note [rare for me], I'm a mean look type father, when that doesn't work then a 2 hour lecture on the reason they shouldn't do what got them in trouble & finally a single swat to the butt if all else fails as I tell them I'm disappointed with their actions but that I love them no matter what. I tell people that my wife has done an amazing job raising our house full of kids, that all I do is play with them. Big rule in our house is we all eat dinner together when I'm home to get the skinny on what they're involved in & who did what to whom. Real lucky to have amazing if over achieving kids who love me back. Hopefully we've raised our kids to be smarter than to post nudie pics but if one of my kids posted nude pictures on their myspace or facebook site, they'd be eating off the fireplace mantle for awhile. Was raised by real involved parents & trying to raise mine the same way.
That said, I've been a bad boy & may need a spanking, haha.

Beth said...

YES! I've seen what happens to kids when there are no boundaries and no discipline. I really really hope it doesn't happen to my kid! She is turning rotten already and she just turned two! We are pretty strict with her already though :)

Anonymous said...

What did you have to sift through on Google images to get your opening photo? Yikes! Perhaps you had something already.

Anonymous said...

My parents would have beat my ass, too,and they weren't the beatin ass kind of parents, even though I grew up during the Smack Your Kid 70's. I was smart enough to know they would smack my ass, so I made sure I never gave them reason to smack me.
When my duaghters were younger, I would gesture with a wooden spoon with a metal handle in a threatening manner. I never had to smack them with it because they thought I would smack them with it. I don't think I would have and that's why it worked.
Ame I. in TN

Kasia said...

I suddenly have so much more comprehension for my mother and the pancake turner...

Anonymous said...

Judd-- I don't use the wooden spoon anymore.
I use a plastic salad spoon-- and the sound of it coming out of the utensil jar is enough to keep the kids in line. T

Anonymous said...

I think the depression and drug problems came from kids who were spanked with a lead pipe and a bathroom sink.


Buddha Mom (aka Mitzi) said...

Loved this....!

Kayla said...

This is too true. All kids need boundries and it is the parents' job to provide those. Being your child's friend is one of the main problems today. Kids need PARENTS who act like PARENTS not friends who are afraid the kid might get mad. Any one of mine is mad at me daily for something! Might as well at least give them a reason. I mean, I made one actually smile for her school pictures. Geez.

Courageous Grace said...


As a child, I was physically abused by my father, and spanked by my mother, so I have a pretty good idea of the difference. And trust me, there IS a difference! My father's beatings were given out of anger, my mother's spankings out of love. I didn't end up "afraid" of men (I managed to snag a pretty good hubby!), and I have a very good relationship with my mother. Since I'm an adult and a mother now, I am "friends" with my mom. Do I think she could have spanked me less? Sure. But I can clearly remember a few that I did deserve.

Do I spank my son (15 months old)? When he gets into a dangerous situation like trying to grab a hot nightlight bulb or has been told "NO" enough times, I'll give him a swat or two. Little bugger has a diaper on, for crying out loud. He barely even feels it. A baby or toddler doesn't know what "NO" means without some sort of physical discipline attached to it at first. Otherwise it's a meaningless word. Will I spank him when he's older? If I need to as a last resort, of course!

First and foremost, I am his PARENT, not his friend.

That being said, I think the authorities are going a bit overboard with pressing charges that will put her on the sex offender list. That's abuse of the system, IMHO.