The other day I received a letter (handwritten) from my cousin Keith. Keith is the offspring of the Clan AuntBarbUncleDon. As I was reading his letter I thought "Why isn't this guy married?" And then it hit me... I should plaster his picture on this here blog and see if there are any ladies out there who would be good enough for him. Oprah does this kind of stuff all of the time, and I am just like Oprah.
Many a childhood memory involved my cousin Keith. He is younger than me (I think he is in his early 30's right now) and he always got a spankin' at every single family get together. It became tradition. It was not Christmas until Keith got the belt. Now, do not let that sway your opinion of Keith, he was never a bad boy... he was just a boy. Women don't want men who were sissies when they were younger, women want men who were boys when they were kids-boys who pulled the butts off of a lightening bugs and who threw rocks at the neighbor to defend you (that was actually Keith's brother Dave that threw the rock at their neighbor to defend me... and it was after the neighbor threw a rock at me and hit me square in the forehead, but they are from the same gene pool so all is good.)
Keith is also a self made millionaire... or at least he is on his way to becoming one. I know this because he looks so debonair and cool when I see him. He has a smile that can melt your heart-but only if you like dimples. If you don't like dimples then he is not the man for you, you dimple hating person.
He was a tremendous athlete growing up, and still is today. He lives in Hilton Head South Carolina (if that does not sell ya, I don't know what I can do for you.) He is a riot to be around and he truly loves his family. You will be guaranteed a good time... especially if he brings you to one of our family weddings. Just don't let him sit with cousin Steve from the Clan AuntRoseUncleChuck or with cousin Johnny from the Clan AuntJudiUncleHarold... that is all I am gong to say about that.
Have I mentioned that he loves kids? Say it with me ladies "Winner!" He has actually told me on more than one occasion that he can't wait to have kids-a lot of them. He wants to find a nice girl, get married and have babies. If that doesn't make your uterus ache I don't know what will. *The above photo is of Keith with is nephew Evan... too stinkin' cute!
And last but certainly not least... Keith is Irish. If that does not seal that deal I don't know what will!
So if you are interested send me an email. If you are not interested because you are married, old, male, or blind... forward this post on to all of the young ladies you know out there who are looking for a good man. Better yet, forward this post on to the mothers of the young ladies you know who are looking for a good man. Forward this to mothers out there who are tired of their daughters dating men who were sissies and aren't Irish. Let's get this boy married off shall we?