Anyone Up For A Little Woo-Hoo?

I sit here... bored off of my noggin. Hubs is at the pool with the three who can walk, and the nonwalker is up in her crib snoozing (thank God because she was starting to make me rethink the whole "babies are so wonderful" notion I had playing in my mind).

I tossed some Lumpia in the oven and skipped gleefully over to my computer to see if I had any emails-all business stuff, nothing exciting. I decided to blog seeing as I have not been able to blog for a few days now (because of that "babies are so wonderful" thing.)

I stare at my computer... I have nothing to say. Do you want to hear about spit up? I have loads on spit up. Do you want to hear about laundry? I have been doing it lately-but I have no "dirty laundry" to dish about simply because my neighbor is in Florida on vaca and the block is at an entertainment standstill. Do you want to hear about sex? Well sure you do! But I have no info on that either... much to my husband's chagrin, especially since I have started wearing Lilly Padz nursing pads that are not only practical in the sense that they are the most protective nursing pads around, but they literally stick to your boobies like a tassel would a stripper sliding down a porn pole. It gets my husband hot and bothered to see these on me-I feel a little naughty wearing them, but they are purely for nursing not breeding.

I decided to skim some other blogs to see what people were talking about. I about fell off of my chair laughing when I read Moosh's blog titled I didn't moan or anything. Go on over and read it-I will take my Lumpia out of the oven while you are gone...

So Moosh orgasm'd on a treadmill. That is just about the best thing I have heard all week! At the YMCA no less. This made me think that I had to tell you what happened to me just last week...

A few years back... Oh, who am I kidding, it was years and years ago when I was an avid worker outer I too went to the YMCA. They have this machine, well it isn't really a machine, it is more like a metal god, that is used for ab cruntches. You stand upright on it and let your legs fall while you hold yourself up on your elbows. Slowly you bring your legs up to your waist or chest (which ever is easiest) and you lower them. This is a FABULOUS ab work out... it is also the frazzled mother of toddlers fastest way to an orgasm.

I, like Moosh, had to wonder if anyone knew this was happening to me whilst on this love machine. Could they tell by the look of utopia on my face? Did the fact that I rolled over and fell asleep on the floor next to the metal god give my dirty little secret away? I don't know...

I was happy with my 5 second work out orgasm until a friend of mine... we'll call her "Partay Pooper" told me that I was sinning. That just took all of the wind out of my ab machine sails.

ANYWAY, last week when I went to the Lady of America work out center for my free trial week, I noticed that they had the exact same love machine that had been my "stress relief" so many years ago. I walked around it a few times... flirting. I winked at it and introduced myself as "Bambi" before I climbed on and started to do the ab pump. Nothing... nothing happened at all. Not even a twitch.

I climbed off and gave the machine the middle finger. What a let down. Is it too much to ask for a 5 second Woo-Hoo? I would have just taken the Woo.