7.02.2007

My Right Breast is Having Self-Esteem Issues

My daughter has decided that she hates the milk that comes out of my right breast. She hates it so much that she would rather starve that eat from that boob. She loves my left breast. She coos and hums while she is eating, but the moment I switch her to the right breast-she screams.

My children have all "preferred" one boob over the other, but they never flat out refused it. My husband may prefer one over the other as well, but he is more of an "equal opportunity" type of boob man.

Now my left boob is a size larger than my right boob. I am starting to drift toward the left when I walk from the imbalance and today I actually walked into a wall thinking I was walking straight!

I do not know what to do to make her like Mr. Righty again, and I do not know what Mr. Righty did to piss her off, but I am sure the boob is sorry seeing as it has been neglected and even screamed at in horror.

You know how there is always one more attractive twin? Even with identical twins, one is better looking. This is obviously the case with my boobs. The left twin is the pretty twin (Mary Kate) and the right twin is the one that used to be attractive but somewhere along the line took a turn for the worse (Ashley). I just hope I do not have to put my right twin in rehab in order to boost it's self esteem.

7 comments:

Matilda said...

All of my kids have done this too even to the point of weaning completely from the one side at about 6 months old. If she truly screams though you might want to rule out an ear infection. If that isn't the case, then it must just be her preference.

Toni said...

OMG! ROTFLMAO! Where do you get this stuff?? I never had this problem, thank gawd!

Can you pump the ugly twin??

Biddy said...

isn't mary kate the crack head? sorry for the boob issues...try pumping it!

moosh in indy. said...

Try putting glitter on it? Or pixie stix?

diana said...

Oh too funny!

Although I would try to express the other side...I have gotten clogged ducts and that isn't funny!

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

I am having the same problem right now. I hope when she weans they will even out but it's really not lookin' so hot right now. I think it's because I'm a right handed person and I preferred to nurse on the left first because I could multitask with my right hand free. Now, my balance is paying the price.

Bridget said...

Hey, maybe she has an ear infection on that side and it hurts when she lays on it. Just a thought!!