Eddie... What Happened?

This morning I woke up and started to browse the news to see if anything important had happened throughout the night and I was struck by this picture:

That is Eddie Van Halen, the guitar virtuoso that I adored in the 80's. He looks a lot like the Aunt that we all have in our families that we only see at funerals and family reunions who smokes 2 packs of Camels a day and carries a flask in her purse. Folks, Eddie Van Halen has turned into Aunt Viola. *big sigh*

Back in 1980, Eddie, who I always thought was better looking than his drummer brother Alex, had big hair and tight pants. He was a walking dream I tell you. I would have killed to go to a Van Halen concert... but my parents only allowed me to go see The Monkeey's. I do admit to a crush on Davie Jones, but I passed him up in height in the 4th grade so my crush diminished.

In 1980, Van Halen looked like this:

When I met my husband back in 1990, he was a clean cut kid who was in the military. By this time I had moved on from my big hair band obsession with Eddie Van Halen and was looking for a more "shaven" kind of guy. One day looking through some old photos of my husband I came across his rock band days. My husband was the drummer of a band that he and his brother started (sound familiar?) My husband had long hair that he not only permed, but he also teased to the height of 4 inches! He wore tight spandex pants with bandannas tied around this ankles and his shirt was ripped in all the right places. He was bea-U-tiful! I teased him about it, but I secretly swooned inside because I was in love with a ROCK STAR! I had achieved all of my goals of the 80's... to meet and fall in love with someone my parents would freak out over! Too bad my husband was now a responsible citizen and no longer a drummer, but I could secretly cherish my hidden rebellion.

In the mid 90's Eddie cleaned up a bit as well and started looking like this:

Very nice if I do say so myself Mr. Van Halen! So what happened? He went from King status, to No status. Van Halen is making a come back (complete with David Lee Roth) and I am excited to hear how they will sound. Eddie has gone into rehab, or celebrityhab as I like to call it, in order to show his fans that he is going to "bring it" with the new Van Halen. Personally, I have grown out of my pantie-throwing, high-pitched screaming concert days (It was hard being a Monkeey's groupie!) and hope that Van Halen can offer me something that I can turn up in my minivan and roll down the windows while I drive toward freedom... at least that is how they used to make me feel. I doubt my husband will have to pound on our bedroom door and yell "TURN DOWN THAT DEVIL MUSIC!" The way my father did years ago, but maybe I can get an eye roll, or a "Eww gross music mom!" from my kids with the new Van Halen. Basically, I hope they sound like they did in the 80's, but all hope of them looking like they did back then has died.

This all is proof that I made the right decisions in my life... I could have given up everything and started following Van Halen around the country until Eddie noticed me and fell in love with me and then I would be stuck with a guy who looks like this:

But I was smart and found a guy who looks like this:

Man did I luck out! And my mother thought I would end up with the manager at Jiffy Lube! HA!