Poor Job. My oldest daughter loves the book of Job. She must find great strength in it, what with having me for a mother and all. But have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months or years where you actually felt like Job?
This morning at 2 a.m. as our youngest was throwing up in her bed, I started to think of old Job. Now, I had prayed and prayed and prayed that she would be able to slip by unnoticed from the stomach virus that we had all contracted in this house-but somehow, she had gotten the worst of it. Not only is she throwing up, but she is crying about her ear hurting as well.
I was fine with all of this-nurse mom to the rescue. I tossed her sheets in the washing machine (only to find newly washed second hand pickles when I pulled them out this morning-nice) and tucked her into bed with my husband and I. This did not work, so eventually she and I headed downstairs to the couch where she did actually fall asleep.
When I heard my husband up, I carried her back upstairs so that she and I could maybe snooze in a bed again-but her tummy had other plans. Right after my husband walked out the door to work (how does he luck out so much??) she tossed up orange juice on our bed, in the hall, and finally in the toilet. This was the point at which I felt like Job.
I have been dealing with sickness-gross, disgusting, horrible sickness since late Saturday night now. I had prayed that our little one be spared of this virus. As I stood looking at the mess I glanced up into the heavens and just said "thanks... thanks a lot!"
I went to work cleaning up telling myself that I should be offering this up-it is Lent after all... but that didn't fly with me. I started to picture Satan saying "Who can I tempt? Who can I play with?" and God pointing at me and saying "See that blond over there... I've given her a run for her money the past year and she has held up so far, so go ahead and play with her a bit." Seriously-that is what I was thinking!
Why is it that some days you just feel like God is not listening? As if He is just sitting back and watching-not making any moves to help and make life a little easier? Then the guilt come rushing in... surely God is listening to me, and life could very well be a lot worse if He were not listening-and everything is in God's hands and in His plans correct? UGH! Some days I just want to scream--and I do, because God knows I want to, He knows what I am thinking, so I might as well just let it out!
I just want my little one to feel better. I just wish God didn't feel so far away some days...
So why do I feel like He has been on vacation this past week of my life?