Is there a Contractor in the house?

Ahhhh, all toilets are flushing in the house today! There are no leaks to report and I have taken the yellow police tape off of the bathroom door so all can visit the commode at their leisure.

I bought a new tank the other morning from a man with the name of Bob (not Gomer or Bubba as predicted) and brought it home for my husband to install. I left for the evening because I am no dummy... handyman projects and this house do not mix well. Upon my return I saw the old tank sitting sadly in the garage as if it was being punished and I thought "Could it be? Did it actually happen? Was my handyman husband able to actually install the toilet tank?" I was excited beyond words... that was until I walked up the stairs and saw parts and pieces of toilet tank all over the floor as if there had been a toilet autopsy happening. Something bad had happened here, I could smell it in the air.

My husband declared "They gave us the wrong part! I cannot fit this black thingy in the hole and get the tank thingy on top of the bowl thingy to screw it together." OK, those weren't his exact words, but that is about all I could comprehend. Then he said it... the words that I KNEW would be next... he said the dreaded "You are going to have to go back to Toilet Tanks R US and tell them the gave us the wrong part!" UGH!

So the next morning I trekked back to the land of toilets and declared that we had the wrong part-my husband said so! They looked at the part, looked at me, and then said "Your husband who cracked the original tank by screwing the bolt too tight says that THIS is the wrong part?" I quietly took the part and backed my way out of there before Bob could catch his breath from his laughing seizure. Men... they think they are so funny.

When my husband came home I told him the news. "Sorry honey, you are not a toilet installer, although I know it is on your list of things to do before you turn 40, but this is the right part... you just need to do it again." But then I offered the only support I could muster and, in thinking that I wanted a fixed toilet AND a happy husband I said, "I am going to call expensive professional handyman tomorrow and have him come install it." I mean, let's face it folks, my husband is an intellect. He has beautifully manicured hands and his face is just so darn pretty that he was just not cut out to install toilets. This is a man who is always prepared-he collects napkins from fast food restaurant and puts them in my glove box "just in case" for goodness sake-he has too many other things to worry about than installing this toilet.

Well, God answered my prayers because as fate and luck would have it, there just so happened to be a contractor standing right across the street finishing up a remodeling job on our neighbors house. My quick thinking intellect husband decided to go ask for some advice. I watched out the window as my husband-the protector of all toilets in our house-woo'd the contractor. He complemented his truck, his work ethic, his talent of fixing things (a talent my husband so desires) and when all else failed... he offered him cold hard cash.

20 minutes later we had a fixed functioning toilet in the bathroom! The kids did a little happy dance-either to show their excitement that the toilet was fixed, or because they had been holding it for 3 straight days-not sure which. The most amazing part...the contractor would take no money. What a guy!

What is the moral of this story you ask? Well that is simple... anyone can fix a problem, you just have to realize what your talents are and use them wisely. Also, just because we spend a lot of time with our toilets, that does not make us professional toilet tank installers~ask for help when your bowl starts to overflow!


Suzanne said...

LOL! Wish I could...my husband DOES work amongst these kinds of things...he is the Master Mechanic at the Wastewater Treatment Plant here! LOL!!! ANYWAYS.....though it seems at home, it is another story.
Strange at it seems just because you are an excellent Master plumber of huge pumps and machinery, does not mean you have an easy time installing a new toilet! Right now it looks as though a new tub installation is due in our own private bath...although my sons thinks it is his...and guess what? I am sooo glad I have two other baths to choose from...actually three, but the floor in one is so nasty I dare not go there....anyways....it don't make a hilly of beans what they do for a living...at home, it always is more straining for them, it seems! ;)
An added note is this: The above story is true, however, I love my hubby and he is an amazing man and somehow almost always gets the job done...please add a little prayer about our bathtub installation the next time you are singing in the shower, will you? Thanks! ;)!!!

Anonymous said...

My quick thinking intellect husband decided to go ask for some advice.
Now wait. My husband is quick thinking and an intellect too - but "asking for advice" isn't a strong point. I didn't know men came with that attribute...

ya got a rare gem there, girl.


Anonymous said...

I am going quickly around the bloggerhood and
letting my blogneighbors know that I have switched
back to my old URL - http://domesticexcellence.blogspot.com .
I tried stblog's Wordpress site for hosting my blog -
found the administrator very helpful, but still, out of all
2000 templates they offer (many of which were blank or not
compatible with their version of Wordpress) I could not find
one that was quirky, fun and/or colorful. They all looked very
conservative and like business forms - that is so NOT me. I
also quickly discovered it had limitations to it insofar as
personalizing your blog. Then the administrator got peeved at
me for mentioning this on my blog and invited me to leave.
Even though I was going to try to stay awhile, at least, to
support their efforts at developing another Catholic blogging
community. But, I decided to leave since he seemed rather
rude about it all. I left a notice on my stblog's blog to notify
any visitor of my return to bloggerand the administrator promptly
deleted my whole blog without asking.
And so. Been there, done that.
Thanks for your link to me, if you do so at all. Otherwise, you
know where to find me and I will continue to entertain you with
various template changes - as only Blogger seems to be able
to accomodate without getting chips on their shoulders.
~ Alexa of "Counting My Blessings"