Like Manna from Heaven

Ever have one of those days when you are rummaging through last year's winter coat and you find a $5 bill in the pocket? That is a pretty good day in my opinion... obviously not in my husband's opinion. He would think "Why didn't you check these pockets before you put this coat away? We could have used that $5!"

Well, yesterday we were getting together all of our tax paperwork-a job that has fallen mostly on me. My organized husband pulled out a folder months back and wrote in bright red crayola marker on the cover:"2006 Taxes." When anything came in the mail that remotely resembled tax info I was to put it directly into the folder-no passing Go-and definitely not collecting $200!

Now, this system works brilliantly... unless you are me. I now stress over if I have put all of the correct info in the ever important folder. If I miss something it is my ass on the line here folks!

While we were making sure we had everything (actually, it was more like my husband was making sure and I was sitting quietly next to him for "moral" support praying that it was all in there-because if something was missing I knew we would spend the next 4 hours tearing the house apart looking for it.) Suddenly my husband says "Where are all the tax statements for THIS house???" I of course thought they would be in there because I have stuck everything in that blasted folder, even a flyer from Fredrick's of Hollywood (you never know where you can get a tax break from.) I start looking through my own personal basket which I store all bills and personal letters for the house tax forms.

Before I go on with this story, it needs to be pointed out that each day I hear the mail truck, I send out the first kid I see to fetch the mail, I sort through it-opening only what I am interested in (this being anything that is NOT important documents) and then I leave the rest next to the phone for my husband to open. He then opens the important boring items and organizes them. I think this brings him joy really-feeling like he is in the loop with bills and such even though he has not cracked open our checkbook in ages... he gets fulfillment from knowing the bill amounts that are coming out of the checkbook.

ANYWAY... I find this paper in my basket that has an escrow check attached to it. I looked at the amount and then said "Is this a real check?" to which my husband snatched it from me and started to see red.

Personally, I see this as a good thing! HEY! WE FOUND MONEY! My husband sees this as complete disregard on my part to his carefully laid out organization of the tax documents. OH WHATEVER! Sheesh~lighten up would ya! Finally, after he is all soap-boxed out over the importance of keeping things together and wondering what else in God's name has been misplaced around this God-forsaken house I look him square in the eyes and say, "You opened this letter, not me. You put it in my basket, not me. Don't pin this on me Bucko!" He denied, I denied... and in the end--WE STILL FOUND MONEY!

After the dust cleared and he finally gave in to my insistence that I did nothing wrong and that I am very cute when I smile and my hugs are warm and inviting... I asked what he wanted to do with this cash.

When I find $5 in my pocket, I celebrate by going to Arby's for some fried cheese sticks--it is like they are free! My husband does not see it that way. We have to put the money in that stupid account he calls "Savings" *big sigh* My visions of botox and liposuction after delivering this baby came crashing down around my poor swollen ankles.


Shae said...

At least your husband cares enough to look at important documents :). My husband thinks it is enough to earn the money. All the rest is on me. And trust me, you don't want to be around when I'm paying bills or attempting to balance the checkbook (I usually settle for slightly crooked).

But hey! At least you found money. I'm with you on this one, except I'd rather get a jamocha shake.

Anonymous said...

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Cris said...

Alexa... you change your url more than most people change their underwear!

:) glad to see you~

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Found money! I would SO not have missed that. I go through the mail and eliminate ALL non-essentials (i.e. stupid ads and "you have won.."s and "Ugent, LAURA, do not throw this away!"s) and only keep the bills and personal letters and local newspaper-ette thingys. If HE gets the mail he opens every livin' thing and strews everything across the counter and leaves me to deal with it. He shows me stuff like credit card apps., like I would ever even open the dumb things in the first place...if I ever had "found money" I'd be heading to the travel agent, right quick I tell you!

Anonymous said...

I know! I don't do it to be difficult.

Kitchen Madonna said...

I've had money fall from the sky before and I ended up on a plane to Rome in 48 hours. Then I went on the Scavi tour under St. Peter's and wanted to write a novel about it and then quit a very good job at EWTN. Wow. Be careful...I think the Arby's visit sounds safer! Very filling too!