Anyway, somewhere along the way I started throwing random pics of my first love Matthew McConaughey on the Six-pack. It became a running joke amongst the mens around here and Cousin Steve even perfected his Matthew McConaughey impersonation for me. People would send me news articles about him and pictures when they came across them.
I loved it.
I became convinced that Matthew was reading this blog because there was a time that if you googled his name, you would come up with my blog so if he is as self centered as I hope and pray that he is... well then he would have read me and developed a secret crush on me. Hey-this is my blog, I can believe whatever I want to believe.
Well, eventually I started to let my eyes wander. Yes, I swoon-cheated on Matthew. I started to post pics of other men. It all started with my Christmas gift to you all when I posted all of your swoons of choice.
So when Matthew and I have to go to trial for custody over this blog, I will site the Six-Packers as the reason why I strayed. Why I started looking at other swoons and couldn't keep my fingers off the clicker to find random pics of "men with their shirts off" or "hot men who make me freakin' scream in ecstasy" on google. God I love google.
But, this weekend I was reminded of my first swoon. I was given the opportunity to walk down lovers swoon lane again and say "Ya know... I think I may just really really like you again."
I went to see the movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It is shit-don't go see it, unless of course you are going for all the right reasons and those reasons all have to do with a certain Matthew McConaughey that made me sigh out loud and giggle like a school girl in my seat.
Oh yes ladies, the man is back. The reason for the swoon has returned. The one that made it all begin. The one who taught me that it is Okay to swoon over men who are so hot that they make me blush when I slap them on the ass.
Today I give you all Matthew...all day. If you don't like it, tough shit. This is the one that started the swoon so show some respect. (hehe... I sounded so tough there didn't I?) That last sentence was for Soliliquy who is having a BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday Chicka-have some beefcake.
Enjoy-and Matthew if you are reading this... you are welcome. Don't worry about those other fellas like Robert Pattinson, Gerard Butler, or even Christian Bale (who I once said had replaced you in my heart of swoons) they mean nothing to me baby... NOTHING! Well, nothing until next Monday-but enjoy your day big guy. You lucky bastard.
Is is just me or does anyone else feel the urge to just bite that butt? I mean, just sink your teeth right in? Phew... I am so hungry right now.
Ugh-look at how cool he is... it is like we are on a long trip across country-just me and him and we are filling up at the gas station and on his way to pay for the gas he turns around and leans against the post and yells "Hey june baby... what do you want on your hot dog?" which he wouldn't ask me because I don't eat meat... but it is a nice fantasy isn't it?
So help me God if I ever find that dog I am going to let it sleep in my bed... because I am an animal lover. Yep.
Oh Matthew... you know I would go anywhere with you-that smile, that "come hither" gesture with your hand. Where do you want to go? To the corner store for some bubble gum and Cheetos? Okay-lemme get my flip flops.
Hi baby... tell me about your day.
And you wonder why I made him my first swoon. It was worth it-not one single regret. Nope. He was fantastic!
And... AND... he does yoga. We are soul swoon mates I tell you.
Here, let me help you peel yourself out of those wet clingy clothes. Can I be your assistant? Can I be the hose holder?
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury... this last photo just proves to me that Matthew McConaughey reads the Six-Pack and loves me... why else would he display such a flagrant expression of his love for me. I am almost embarrassed by his devotion-I mean... he is just SCREAMING my name practically. Ireland and Matthew-two of my favorite loves.
It is so nice to get back to your roots every once in a while isn't it?
Me and God love Matthew McConaughey-in all of his BO smelling, naked bongo playing, having a baby with another woman, Texas drawl, big smilin, just livin, alright alright alright ways.
Mmmm Mmmmm Good.