1.05.2008

Cake Cutting 101...

finicky made an interesting comment on his blog and on here about the fact that he will never try and cut a birthday cake again. the Mom asked the proper way to cut a birthday cake in order to get enough pieces for all to eat... and then to leave some for that late night kitchen raid.

I cut a birthday cake the same way my mother cuts a birthday cake. It is simple and genius. Everyone gets a piece-maybe even two. It gives you everything you need-cake and icing. There is not a lot of cake for those little rug rats who only eat the icing and there is not a lot of icing for those strange human beings (my husband) who will only eat the cake and not the icing (I know, I know... I blame his mother.)

I decided to give you a play-by-play on how to cut a cake the June Cleaver way. This brought me to a strange predicament though. Since I am on Weight Starvers I surely could not bake a cake and show you how to cut it because I would end up eating the cake and I have already borrowed my points for the next month or so. I needed to stay strong so I came up with the brilliant idea of making a diagram cake. Sure it is not as yummy, but it works. I don't want to hear one complaint about me not using a real cake. You are not here to eat it with me so there.

Before I did all of this, I had to shower. I could never let all of you see me before a shower. I even put on makeup for you... that is how much I love you.

OK-on to the cake cutting...
First thing, find an apron you like. I used to think aprons were for old grandmas. Once when I was young (and horribly thin) I went to a military wives tea at the Commander's home. The Commander's wife answered the door with a little apron on and continued to wear this apron throughout the tea. I went directly home and told my husband to kill me if I ever started wearing aprons. Well, I have gotten over my fear of aprons and now I am old now and have become an apron whore. I will not tell you how many I have...

OK, now that you have your apron on, lets cut it shall we? The cake... cut the cake.

Here is the cake I will be demonstrating on... I apologize that it is not chocolate and does not have icing. This is really depressing.

First you take your handy dandy knife and cut a radius line. (Remember, radius is half of a circle, a diameter is across the entire circle.) Look, this picture looks like my butt. I could have just photocopied my rear upstairs on the copy machine for this demonstration. Thank goodness this is a family web site.

Then you cut slices in the cake. Here we already have 5 slices! Wow!

You can always make your slices thicker for those pesky kids who scream out " I want a BIG piece!" or for your own personal slice of heaven.

Now let's compare my way to the traditional method shall we? Notice how many more slices I have gotten out of the cake? I am so smart. I bet my slices have fewer Weight Starver points as well. I probably could have actually baked a cake for this demonstration...

Even if you do go ahead and try and slice the cake the old way, you may get the same amount of pieces but you run the risk of having very thin slices that will fall apart and get entirely too soggy with ice cream. My way gives you a sturdy slice of cake that stands up to most ice cream scoops... even homemade.

The best part about my cutting method is that when the party is over and everyone is in bed, you can slip down to the kitchen and cut one of your slices in half again for a little sumpin' sumpin' before you fall into a sugar induced coma. Mmmmmmm! I love me some guuuuud cake.

So there you have it. Try it. If you have any other questions I would be happy to help you out. I know how to fold a mean bath towel, and my vacuuming skills are crazay!

I hope I helped~go forth and eat cake!

22 comments:

Hope said...

lest I diminish your efforts I'll have to make a cake right now...you know...for practice.

Steph said...

You are hilarious! I love the aprons. I have one to my name, but I think I will start lookin' around for some cute ones. Better go...gotta get upstairs and bake me a cake to test the cake-cutting lesson I just had!

AuburnGalAlways said...

Stinkerbell keeps after me about getting her an apron. She needs one while making her "famous baked potatoes."

Can I make a request? I wanna see some towel-folding!

Kitchen Madonna said...

There are tons of cute aprons out there. Check out apronista.blogspot.com !

Kitchen Madonna said...

Cris, I'm so glad to see you in an apron! Love 'em. And you are hi-larious.

Beth said...

I love your aprons! I don't have any which may explain why all of my clothes are stained!

I'll have to give your cake cutting method a try. Seems at every birthday party someone says, "O.k. who's going to cut the cake?" As soon as they ask that I head for the bathroom!

Gretchen said...

Great method! I have a Large family (in number not weight) and this will come in handy!

By the way, sadly, I started WW too and I'm as crabby as heck. Good luck to ya!

Gretchen
www.simonpeters.org

Michelle "-) said...

I'm just glad to see you FINALLY went and took a shower and put on some make-up!! You really looked rough this morning when we came over to sell you Girl Scout cookies!

You do look just Mar-vee-less in your aprons girlfriend but I wish you would stop decorating the kitchen table with your Emma's dirty panties--so last year!!

Your FAV neighbor, Michelle "-)

moosh in indy. said...

I love that we have our choice of outfit to imagine you in as you cut your cake.

Cris said...

Oh Miohelle... you really don't want to start commenting on MY apperance. You were the one with the diamond studded 1950 horn framed sunglasses on.

Who sells girl scout cookies at 9a.m. on saturday morning anyway... I only bought 7 boxes to show my irritation at the early hour.

Anonymous said...

how about folding a fitted bed sheet? any good tips on that?

Zenmomma said...

You have mad skillz woman! And you be stylin' in those aprons.

Maggie-beth said...

The cake cutting method is sheer genius. I particularly like that you automatically get different-sized pieces - something for everyone. I wish I had a cake to practice on, but I only have a cherry pie. That method would not be good with a cherry pie, I'm thinking. I love your aprons. I too have a collection. My favorite one is black (hides lots of mistakes) and embroidered with dancing shrimps wearing little sombreros, drinking margaritas, waving forks and wearing bibs. It's from a seafood restaurant in Mexico, has two handy pockets and says "I work for tips". I have yet to get a tip, however. Maybe now that I've learned how to cut a cake so everybody gets enough frosting...

Michelle said...

That's how my mom taught me to cut a cake too. It's the best way to divvy-up a 9" round into a gazillion pieces for that big Catholic family and half the neighborhood kids too.

Heather said...

You are too damn funny!! Love those aprons. I too have become an apron addict. Aprons were actually my Christmas gifts this year from the kids. I bought plain ones at Wally World and the kids decorated them up for me. Double bonus - aprons hand decorated by my munchkins! I ended up with one that has a martini glass complete with an olive across the front, another with a coffee cup that says "Java Mom" (What can I say? My boys know me well!)and yet another that looks like I'm wearing a skimpy coconut shell bikini top with a grass skirt - this one also has a belly button ring to complete the look. Just lovely!

southernjoy said...

That's the way my mama cuts a cake, too!

Kasia said...

I think that's actually how you're supposed to cut a wedding cake (don't ask me how I know that, I'm trying to block it out). I will try that next time I have to cut a cake...see how loud people scream... :-p ...thanks for showing us! (And I think Emma's nuts - that apron is ADORABLE!)

Star Molegraaf said...

You are so precious in your aprons!! Loved the pics and the cake cutting tip!

the Mom said...

Thanks, Cris! Just be fair, I'll post the best way to fold a t-shirt tomorrow on my blog. We have to share all this special knowledge we have acquired.

finicky said...

Dang Cris. That's awesome. Maybe if I knew this technique a few years ago, I wouldn't have sworn it off.

Anonymous said...

UMMMMM! With the great skills that you are modeling the cleaning lady must be long gone. Is Carl inline for extensions too?

Lori wants to know why you didn't model the french maid apron?


The best neighbors you'll ever know.
Mike and Lori

MKHKK said...

I knew I could rely on you. This is a skill I have not mastered oh great one! LOL. I too like aprons but tend to only wear them when there is some serious cooking going on or when I need cheap lingerie. Just the apron goes a long way. LOL.