I'm A Leavin'... in a Van with Three Kids and a Hubby, Varicose Veins and Hemorrhoids....

Isn't that a catchy tune? I am sure it will be in the top ten in no time! We are heading to Florida early tomorrow morning--it is a hardship tour of rest and relaxation and 70* weather. Don't fret for me, I will take it all in stride and make the best of it... hehe!

Seeing as today is Friday and the day before we leave for a week... I have a to-do list out the wazooooo! Answer me this riddle: Who is it that will pack? Put sandwiches in a stack? Get out the luggage rack? Take all of the children's flack (can I take 7 pillows and my comforter?) Eat 11 sandwiches by the name of Big Mac, Yell things like "DON'T TALK BACK!" and still be as sharp as a tack? Why ME of course--or any other mother who is getting her family ready to go on a trip by doing all the laundry, cleaning the house (because who in their right mind likes to come home to a dirty house), packing everyone's clothes (how did I get this JOB?) and making sure the heat is turned down, the doors are locked, the bills are all paid, the dog is at the kennel, the guinea pig is being fed, the newspaper is stopped, the mail is on hold, the van is gassed up, and we have not forgotten anyone's beloved stuffed animals or blankets? PHEW! All this and I have a hair appointment today~if I am going to be frazzled, I may as well look good.

When I was a kid we went on a lot of road-trip vacations. I remember sitting in the station wagon all loaded up with my dad honking the horn yelling "What is your mother doing in there!" Well I will tell you dad... she is making sure you have enough underpants to get you through the week!

How does the burden of packing and being in charge of not forgetting anything fall on the mother? I am sure if my husband could speak on this blog (which he has threatened to do) he would let you all know that what he does is of the utmost importance upon leaving on vacation... he pays for it all! Yeah yeah yeah--I could pay for it too if I had a paying job, but instead I have a job that offers only fame and fortune... I am the packer of the clothes, the keeper of the dvd's for the trip, the reader of the map, the "Can everyone just get along!" yeller and the glue that holds this happy forced family fun driving day together.

Oh, it can be rough--all of us stuck in a small space for 11+ hours. I will be lucky if I do not end up like Goldie Hawn in "Overboard" when she snaps and just sits staring into space saying "bubububububuubububu" for the last stretch of the trip. But I am optimistic. My husband has been away for the past week so I am really looking forward to seeing him again. I will cherish doing the little things that annoy him like saying "listen to this" and then start to read him an entire article out of People magazine on a woman who fell in a well and only had red hots in her pocket to keep her alive for the 4 hours before she realized that she could just stand up and climb out. I will also start philosophical discussions on what exactly to call a male flight attendant... a Stuart, or a male Stuartess? My husband loves conversations like those.

So think of me tomorrow... well no, think of me on Sunday when we are safely in Florida and not wearing any snow gear and the only white on the ground is sand by the beach! Pray for me tomorrow--or maybe you should pray for my husband. Some days I wonder what it is like to be married to someone who is always sarcastic and so darn funny (I am talking about me here). I am sure he has his moments of "why me" but then I just give him a hug and tell him that I can't live without him and all is right with the world again. He is so easy~and I am so lucky.

If you don't hear from me in a few days do not panic! I will check in to let you all know how much fun I am having...



Laura The Crazy Mama said...

WHAT a HOOT! Butch doesn't DARE do that honking, sitting in the car thing anymore since the last time I gave him THE LOOK OF DEATH after he asked me what took so long before church one day. Hmph. Now he says it, but he sheepishly grins so I'll grin too and give him my, "I KNOW you're just kidding, honey, 'cause if you're not, all they'll find is a bloody smear on your side of the bed tomorrow morning haha you're so funny!" look right back at him. I just love that guy. You prolly won't read this comment until you get back and you are all rested and tan. Hahahahah! I KNOW you are laughing now! Seriously, I hope you do have a nice time with your family! (and it WILL be nice to come home to a clean house, even IF it's only for a few minutes before the luggage and the dirty, tired kids destroy it again!)

Kasia said...

Hope you're having a great trip! :-)