A Horse of a Different... er, Name?

I was flipping through the channels the other night (a million channels and never anything to watch) and I stopped at the Discovery Channel when I saw a man that looked a lot like what my son may look like as an adult. Tall, dark, handsome and a daredevil. His name is Bear Grylls and the show was called "Man Vs. Wild." It was a pretty good show and I have to admit that I watched it even further for the simple fact that Bear has a Bri-ish accent (I think he also resembles my husband, but I think my husband resembles Tom Cruise, Rob Estes and so on...) Anyway, I started thinking about people who name their children after animals. Sure, the Native Americans have been doing this forever... but all of the Native Americans I have met personally may have names like "One who Runs with the Horses" but everyone calls him "Bob."

Years and years ago after I gave birth to our oldest, my good friend Mary told me that if she ever had a child she would name him Tiger. I thought this very weird, that was of course until a few years later Tiger Woods came on the scene and took the golf world/Nike world by storm.

People seem to nickname others by animal names as well, especially in the military flying world where no one goes by their God-given name that their mother loving chose for them-no they go by names like Turtle or Hamster... names that drunken military mates have given them. When I was a little girl, I would play at my grandmother's home often. Next door was a little boy named "Poo." My mom told me it must have been because he resembled Winnie the Pooh, but now that I am a mother of a son-I bet it was because of his smell that he got this nickname. Now, I ask you, what kind of future does a kid have who has been branded with the name Poo? Anyway, I digress...

Why do people name their children after animals? What ever happened to the good ol' Bible names? If you are going to name your child something like Bear, or Tiger, you had better be sure they are going to make something out of themselves. Which leads me to wonder-does giving a child a strong or interesting name help them to be strong or interesting? Let's look at "Meatloaf" shall we, sure he is a great singer and performer--but he does sort of resemble a meatloaf.

I wonder if a bear would ever consider naming their cub after a person. You laugh-but bears do talk-just look at the story of Goldilocks. This is what that conversation may look like:

Papa Bear aka "Frank": Lois, I have been thinking, people are starting to name their children after animals so I thought it would be nice to name our cub "Human!"
Mama Bear aka "Lois": Yes but Frank, do you understand the pressure our cub will have to walk upright all the time if we name him "Human?"
Papa Bear: Sure, but think of his future Lois! The world will be his playground!
Mama Bear: That is true-and maybe one day he could wear a pair of shorts and ride a unicycle in the circus!
Papa Bear: That would be a proud proud day!

Now, lets look at the conversation of proud human parents naming their baby after an animal:

Dad: (stumbling in the house with a few beers under his arm) Lois! I just hit a bear with our truck!
Mom: Just great-my water just broke!
Dad: This must be a sign-let's name this baby "BEAR!"
Mom: You can name this kid anything you want if you make these labor pains just stop!
Dad: here--have a beer to dull the pain! Welcome to the world Bear Francis O'Leary!

So, I do not really know the reason for this blog entry today... but as I lay in bed this morning at 5am after being woken up by my youngest because her blankets were not perfectly straight and she could not find her Dora the "Horrible" doll, I started to have these thoughts. What would you name your children if you named them after animals? Think about it....


Michelle said...

We gave our kids good and proper Christian names, but my husband calls the boys "Tiger". His dad called him that too.

My husband once worked with a woman who decided to name her daughter Sierra. She thought long and hard about a middle name and finally came up with Leone. It just sounded right, she thought.


He also had a boss who named his daughters with nicknames. I can only remember "Abbie" (not Abigal). All three names were like that. I just think if I were a grownup, I'd like to have a grownup name and not be stuck with something cute.

I have a neighbor named Cossette who goes by "Cozy." Not even Cosi, but cozy like something warm and soft and snuggly. I refuse to call her it.

I can't stand it when people feel the need to give their kids a unique spelling to a common name. "Karyn" or "Jym Bob". The parents have just condemned the child to a lifetime of having his or her name misspelled. What a pain!

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

My sis in law's father and my other sis in law's brother are both LEGALLY named "Ricky" not "Richard" or even "Rick" but "Ricky" all I can think is "how trashy". I know it's not nice to to think things like that but there it is. My kids are all nicknamed and horribly, at that, but they will always have nice names to fall back on so there. Also, my sis in law's legal name is "Debbie" which is also weird. I'm not a huge fan of "Deborah" but come ON! Well, to be fair, her mom is kind of crazy and was married like, 6 times so she has an excuse.
Other weird names in my extended family: Cade (boy)
Actually, now that I look at this list, they are all grandchildren of one of my uncles. All the kids are normal, nice kids, it's just that they have weird names.

Cris said...

Laura and Michelle... in the military, I never know what anyone's real name is! My husband is known as "Mize" his brother, who is named Christopher is known as "Chet" and my brother-in-law Ryan is known as "Flash" It is crazy! Sometimes I meet someone and later will meet thier spouse and they will say "I am Jim's wife." Well, Jim was introduced to me as "Turtle" so I have no idea who she belongs to! HA!

Connie said...

And then we have C3 or was it 4.