1.26.2009

I Read You... I Really Do!

I am sure I have mentioned the blogs that I recommend on my sidebar. Do you see the list? Just turn your head to the right and look down a little... right there... got it? Good.

It is not a very big list is it? Nope.

"Why not June? Don't you know how to read? Why aren't there more blogs on your sidebar for me to click on and be entertained? Do you not have many friends? What is up with THAT?"

Well, the reason why it is not very big is because I am very picky. I know-what a snob I am that I expect everyone on Al Gore's Internet to link to me but I am an itty bitty titty linker.

This is the way I roll... small. I can't help it. I am not an extrovert-honest.

It is small because these are the blogs that I do go over and visit. Some more than others, but basically I feel a connection to these blogs. They are my homies, my posse, my imaginary friends.

What does it take to get on the sidebar? Money.

No, not really... but you could try that route and see if it works.

Basically there is no rhyme or reason to my sidebar... they are mostly perverts and Catholics over there so I am just doing what Jesus would do.

Let me introduce them to you... including our two new links:

Abbey Roads-meet Terry. I just read him because I like his picture, which obviously isn't him... or maybe it is, I am not sure. Oh, and he is also wicked smart on just about everything. If I am ever President, or married to a President, Terry will be the Chairman of the Smart Committee. I promise.


Amy's Friend Jess- Meet Jess. Like Terry she is brand new to the sidebar. I found her because I was "browsing" my "followers" one day and saw her and clicked on her blog. She was talking about a friend of hers that owned a children's store in Virgina named Amy, and it turns out that I am Amy's friend too! In fact, I think Amy is great and she is funny so I figured that any friend of Amy's was a friend of mine so I read on and discovered that not only is Jess so funny that I laugh out loud ever time I click on her, but she is a great writer. She should write a book... and then get it published and tell me who her literary agent is so that I can get my book published simply because I know a published author. That is a good plan don't you think?

Brunette Lover... Gasp Don't click on this guy if you are a liberal or a woman... you will be offended, and that is why I like to read him. Don't click on him if children are in the room. Don't click on him if the DOG is in the room. If you do click on him make sure you have an appointment for confession directly after. Seriously.

Chi-Town Urban Mom - It is funny how people name their blogs, yet when I link to them I sometimes change their names. Anyway-this kid is great. I would love to be her neighbor. We would get arrested and our husbands would have to bail us out, which always makes for good blog fodder.

Elaine I started linking to Elaine after she gave me some of the most amazing information that a a person with OCD (me) would pee their pants over. She told me that the average woman does no less than 25 swipes with the mascara brush on each eyelash. Now, I don't know about you, but that kind of information causes me to start counting things... and ever since then I have counted the number of swipes I make with my mascara EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE! She also said that she knows this information because her husband works for some big make up company so I link to her in hopes that she will eventually send me free make up. So far I have received zip.

Kasia I think Kasia was one of the first people to ever comment on my blog so she is like a friend I have had since elementary school. She knows (and remembers) everything about my family... which is a little creepy, but that is Okay, I know for a fact that her husband has dressed like a woman before (oh, he'll argue that it was a kilt, but whatever) so we are even.

Man With 1000 Children Seriously, he only has 11 with one in the oven... but who is counting. My priest made me start reading him a long time ago because I have this certain irritation for people who jog on the side of the road. I can't help myself, but when I see them I get an overwhelming urge to run them over with my van. When I confessed this to my priest he told me that I had to say 3 Hail Mary's and start reading Rob, who is an avid runner and runs at least a million miles in a week. True story.

Soliloquy I read her because she has a great body-that is about it. No... she is also hi-freakin-larious. Although I think she has me blocked from her comments because I have tried to tell her what I would do to get that $3500 from her husband that she needed, but she either did not like my suggestion or she was so offended that I have been black listed. If you only click on one of these links today-make it hers. You will be happy you did. And while you are there tell her to open her door to let me back in-I am probably hanging out with all the scumbags in the spam waiting room.

Stupid Fat HobbitWe all know Hobbit don't we? I don't know why I link to him... he is an ignorant slut. Oh relax... it is an inside joke. We actually know each other in person (I know, how weird is that?) and I once got him drunk at a party (playing beer pong) and he sometimes has this problem with people not "getting" his jokes... but I get Hobbit, I really do, so when he turned to another party goer and said "Jane you ignorant slut!" I understood the joke completely and laughed (reference SNL Dan Akroyd). Too bad the party goer he called an ignorant slut did not know what he was talking about and was probably offended... but we were drunk and playing pong so all was good with the world.

Sunny-My friend since I was 5 As it says in the title that I have supplied her with, I have known Sunny (or Kathleen as she likes to call herself) since we were 5 and our Dads drank beer together and our Moms were in the Altar-and-Rosary together. She is my oldest friend and part of who I am. We rode our bikes all over town and met many milestones together... like when Chris Cash tried to kiss her in the back of his garage and her mom was calling for her and I pretended like I had no idea where she was, or when we threw her brother's underpants on top of a lamp in his room on vacation and the entire upstairs started to smell like poo, or when we did our Calumet Press paper route together and tossed the papers on people's roofs and in the bushes so that we would just get done quicker. Yep-I love Sunny. She is a liberal... but Congress could learn a lesson from our friendship. We should run the country! Sunny can have California and I'll take the rest of the country. I kid Sunny... you know I am a kidder.

The Pioneer Woman Cooks The Pioneer Woman has no idea who the hell I am because she gets like 5 million comments a day and I am like a fart in the wind to her but I don't care. She is cool and I want to be part of the "in" clique so therefore I link to her so that other people think I am cool by association.

Threedonia-the magnificent 5 or 6... or maybe 7, I'm not sure how many of them there are anymore. I don't remember who these guys are. I know there is a great gal named Wankette that writes for them... but the rest is fuzzy. It is a boys club over there and they humor us ladies simply because they are hairy and smelly and we make them look good. Go check them out, they will welcome you in like the prodigal son and then start a fight with you when you least expect it and make fun of you every chance they get. It is a good time.

So there you have it... my imaginary friends. I am always looking for new friends-and it should be said that I have about 25 applications for friendship in my favorites that I visit, and of course, the 95 of you that have somehow stuck around and not said "This chick is stupid and she has saggy boobs, I am outa here!" I would link to you all if I could, but I like the sidebar to look neat and clean. I also like it to be personal-so until you get personal with me I can't put you up there (although one could argue that The Pioneer Woman has never gotten personal with me, but I explained that already-I want to be cool)

So that is an invitation... get personal, but don't take anything I say personally. Huh?

And Cousin Steve... if you had a blog I would link to you. Seriously. Dude.

28 comments:

Texa said...

psst, June. It's me, texa. I think I figured out how to reclaim my name.

Anonymous said...

June - I found your site on my new priest's site! (Adam's ale). I don't have a blog profile yet, but am going to have to get one. I've been lurking for a while and need to come out of the shadows. Thanks for the friends links!

TRO said...

I'm actually quite flattered by that description.


Signed,

Brunette Lover...Gasp

Mimi said...

June, you said you like your sidebar to look neat & clean...

I had to laugh when I scrolled down & saw the ads Google had placed there.

Envirolet Farm Toilet
Waterless solution for your farm & barn. Installs easy. No septic.


Not too bad, but a little odd...

Treat Frequent Urination
It's Time to Take Control of Your Overactive Bladder - Learn How!


Hmm a bit of a pee pattern happening here... But the one that takes the prize is...

Married But Looking
Find Married Wives Looking For Fun View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!


While the Ward's away...

Anywho, they made me laugh, that's what Google has given you, at least on this visit, urine, toilets & loose women! LOL

warren said...

I tend to add and subtract the blogs I read from my bloglist. I subscribe to 95-100 blogs and I only have 30 or so on my blog list. I just cycle through them some. Anyhow, blog rolls are awesome...thanks for your scrawny one!

june cleaver said...

Mimi... that is hilarious! I don't ever look at those ads-I just cash the checks (yeah, those BIG returns-HA!)

It is good to see that google pays attention to the site... do you think it was the picture of The Pope or The Mass readings that caused the ad for adultery? Hmmmm... not sure.

Mary Poppins NOT said...

Back in the day when I was on your side bar, I got probably 40 hits a day from this site. And don't worry, since the pregnancy hormones hit and I can no longer think clearly, you are not the only person to drop me from their sidebar. But I can say you have influence ~ people do follow where you lead.

june cleaver said...

Man Mary Poppins... you are a great mom. How do I know this? Because you were able to compliment me with an ever so delicate undertone of guilt that made me squirm a little.

Well played-well played in deed.

Wankette said...

Ahem, and ladies for your benefit, Wankette has begun posting "Hubba-hubba" pictures to counter all the y-chromosomes at threedonia.
We j'adore us some June Cleaver over there! she even has her own subcategory in the archives (that don't really work, which is rufus' fault not mine). I won't tell you, just so's you'll go over there and laugh when you read it...
p.s., Ugly Betty is being bumped from ABC's schedule starting March 26. Waah.

Wankette said...

p.s. June, loving the new soundtrack here!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

It is an honor we do not take lightly and we promise to continue working hard every minute of every day to not lose our coveted spot on June's blog roll. For those of you who want in, target Kasia, or soliloquy. I don't think they can keep up the necessary level of quality posting for the long haul. They look beatable.

Why Mom Drinks Rum said...

Thanks for visiting! I'm going to have to add you to my list of things I read instead of actually working while at work. Anne Taintor is my FAVORITE!

Mary Poppins NOT said...

Ha, June, not my intention. I must have so many freaking kids that guilt trip laying is subconscious.

Soliloquy said...

JUNE!

I was about to click over to see if I was on the sidebar - but I didn't HAVE to.

You're the first to make me laugh today. Thank you.

As for your comment? Don't have it. Unless you were "Anonymous" who wanted to go to BlogHer and SheSpeaks. Was that you, by chance?

The only thing that's in my junk mail is Super Secret Shops and Canadian offers for Viagra.

So, come on in. The door is unlocked girl.

And really? Someday? We must meet.

june cleaver said...

Silil... no, I was not annon. I type but my comments don't come. Damn.

Anyway-it was a perfectly brilliant moment of clarity when I commented-I said something to the fact that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission... and it is better to ask for forgiveness if you are on your knees.

Anyway... what is this Blogher that you mentioned? I see it placed yet I have never looked into it. Is it a cult?

I must know!

Kathleen's world said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathleen's world said...

OK, for the record, you have to admit your own crush on Chris Cash. Come on. Don't act like it was JUST me. And also, the kiss was in the driveway, not the back of the garage. You make me sound like I was a 12-year-old slut! :)
Should I go on about how we destroyed Barbie heads on your parents' stationary bike? Or how I watched in awe as you used that plunger-thingie to take your grandma's contacts out? Or how we would play bingo and throw the little red plastic chips up in the light fixture? Or how we went "snake hunting" in Steffie's back yard? Or how ...? Or how ...?
Man, we were a dangerous pair!

june cleaver said...

Good Lord-you have a steel trap for a brain! Remind me to never piss you off... and please, if a reporter ever comes up to you and says "Sunny? Can I ask you a few questions about June Cleaver?" Say NO... the same goes for the police.

You remember more than me (my children have all sucked my brains out through my boobs) but I will never forget when we couldn't get the boat back to the dock and you just jumped in as if you were Gertrude Ederle ready to swim to shore. HA!

Wankette said...

(my children have all sucked my brains out through my boobs)
Shocking and hilarious. I think it should be on a tee shirt for your site.

Kathleen's world said...

I really could go on and on. Didn't know if the statute of limitations was up on some of the stuff we did, though. :)

elm said...

OH MY! I thought that I was the only one who had children that sucked their mother's brains out through their boobs. So glad to find a common soul.

Sorry about the regular lurking. I lurk, therefore I am.

momto5minnies said...

You need to email me ... emommy5@gmail.com

I HAVE MORE MASCARA than I will ever use. If I don't get rid of it soon, the trick or treaters will get some in their bags next Halloween.

Anonymous said...

speaking of boobs...the lady in California who was blessed with 8 babies...plans to nurse them. Is that possible????
Inquiring minds want to know.
Aunt Barbara

Sister Mary Martha said...

I read your blog all the time, but I don't put up my favorite links in my sidebar because I don't want to play favorites.

Still, you are a favorite of mine.

Urban Mom said...

Awwww, June! I feel like I've "made it" in the blogging world, being mentioned here! And you've been such a wonderfully bad influence on me via cyberspace -- imagine if we *were* neighbors... (evil giggle) Now you'll have to excuse me...I have to go back to finding pictures of Edward Cullen in his skivvies.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

On the Brunette Lover: I've been reading his 'blog almost as long as I've been reading yours, June. Judging by the commenters there, it seems to me that most of his regular readers, which includes myself, are women. It's strange, especially when you consider all those pictures he puts up, but there it is.

june cleaver said...

Hey... did you see that the good Sister said I was her favorite? Did you see that?

I am so in!

june cleaver said...

Aunt Barb, I am filing that away for future blog fodder. I am going to have to think on that one for a while!