1.15.2009

God... You Are Such A Sly Guy!

You know, God is pretty smart. I bet that one day when he was making woman, He sat and thought out every little detail that would go into her. For the most part... He did really well wouldn't you agree? But I have a few questions, like what is up with PMS, and why do we have hair that still grows on our legs when we shave them every other day?

Anyway,

There is one aspect of a woman that I think God thought up and then sat back and said "That is really good... I am so Amazing and Smart."

It is that mood that He puts a woman in right around the time that she is ovulating. Now, a mere mortal would have thought to have her be a little frisky when she was ovulating so that she finds the man that she is married to and who leaves the seat up completely and utterly irresistible, but it would only be something that God would think up to not only make the woman frisky, but also give her that one week out of the month where she is skinnier than the rest of the month!

Does this happen to only me? I am willing to bet not, but it never ceases to amaze me the lengths that God will go in order for us to "go forth and multiply."

He knew what He was up against... He had to somehow make a woman-as perfect as she is-want to have "relations" with a man-as flawed as he is-at least once a month... on a specific day... that would make them have a baby.

So what did He do? He made this ovulation thing take place during the best week of this woman's month. It is the week that he didn't make her overly hungry and he graced her with the gift of no water weight whatsoever.

I just finished this week, and let me be perfectly honest, with Carl gone I don't usually pay any attention to the best week of the month because there is no one here to appreciate it. But with Carl home, I can't help but think "Damn! I look good!" and then he looks at me and says "Why yes you do, do you wanna have sex?" and I say, "it would be a crime NOT to have sex when I look this good!" and then he says, "I completely agree." (pfffft, of course he agrees... )

And all the while God is sitting up in Heaven rubbing his Spiritual Hands together and gleefully laughing.

He's so sneaky.

Sidenote: No where in this post am I saying that I am pregnant. Do not read into this... I am simply blogging about something I was thinking about the other day when I was basking in my no water weight body and trying on my new pair of size 6 jeans that I will only be able to wear for one week out of each month.

19 comments:

Kristina said...

And, you know something else? Men can smell when we're ovulating. Go out in public when you're ovulating and you'll get hit on at least twice as much as when you're not ovulating. God knew what he was doing!

Musings of the Mrs. said...

Yep...you are defintely right. And then there's the other week...the one where I look pregnant even though I'm not - thats where I'm at. Thanks God.

Owens Family Adventures said...

You are so hillarious!!! hahahahah
dawn

Floyd R. Turbo said...

That's what you get. Eve listened to a snake. At least Adam could cop to following a naked woman with fruit. Who wouldn't eat a piece of fruit in the hands of one's beautiful naked wife? No one. Bad move Eve.

I have good weeks 4/4 times. It's on my agenda! ;-)

btw June... I think the message is clear... of course your not pregnant. That post will come in late February/early March.

Wankette said...

June,
Swear to GOD, we're already on the same cycle.
Spooky.

Wankette said...

p.s. How do I know this? Because I'm having an amazing hair day, and my stress blemishes have faded and/or were completely disappeared by my MAC face powder.
And men were giving me that embarrassed smile all day.
Obviously, ovulating.

Melissa said...

Does this mean you will packing up the size 6's and pulling out the maternity? At least maternity clothes are cute these days!

Melissa said...

I always say that after a baby, I take off the baby weight, show my husband how cute I look in my skinny jeans, and then promptly get to pack them up again.

Melissa,
who is pregnant with her first NFP baby after four 'planned for' babies
: )

Mimi said...

Yep, He has it all figured out!

I'm glad Carl was home on your best week.

Terry Nelson said...

You crack me up! I love your photo - "Her proudest achievment was staying blond." LOL!

Stephanie said...

I love that photo to. I may have to snag it as that is my moto. I know my proudest moment is staying blonde. Heh.

Stephanie said...

I love that photo to. I may have to snag it as that is my moto. I know my proudest moment is staying blonde. Heh.

Stephanie said...

I love that photo to. I may have to snag it as that is my moto. I know my proudest moment is staying blonde. Heh.

Darcy said...

My day started off wrong and all it took was coming here and reading your post to make it all just slip away. Thanks for writing and making my day!

Have a great weekend! :)

the Mom said...

Yup, He's pretty clever. For one week a month I look smokin'. Now for the next 40 I get to glow as I anticipate #6.

I only wish my plans worked out do well.

TRO said...

Size 6? Yummy . . .

momto5minnies said...

Girl, I think we are on the same schedule ...

Surely you look HOT, like I look HOT.

My husband is gone tonight though ...

God is GOD and i don't think too deeply into his reasons. HOWEVER, I do wish sometimes that this time of the month lasted longer. I'm pretty sure that I would have more children ... hmmmmm!

mommymommyland said...

Yay for fitting in the jeans! and for getting some before he had to go away again.

Janeabelle said...

I have long been saying that this is how we women can be sure that God is a "man". And I swear, it's a little spooky that you blogged this bc it's been in my head for a week to write something about this. Seriously. My hair looks better, my skin is fab, EVERYTHING is better when I'm ovulating. Hot little time bomb.