Who Pee'd In Your Cheerios? Oh Wait... That Was Me.

My husband somehow ended up in a very bad mood Friday night. This mood may or may not have come about because of something that I may or may not have said/done. I would tell you what I did or did not do but this post is not about me... it is about my foul mooded husband.

Anyway, this bad mood followed my husband around all weekend long, so in turn, everyone in the house had to bow down to him and treat him like a King (a very unfair and unpopular King) in order to survive this bad mood of his.

When I am in a bad mood, no one cares. The kids don't go out of their way to make my mood happier and my husband usually just says "What in the world is wrong with you!" As if me being in a bad mood is somehow ruining his moment and therefore I am very selfish. How dare I.

By Saturday afternoon I let my husband know that I thought he had let this bad mood of his linger long enough and it was time for him to get over it and move on. I even insisted that he give me a kiss. My kisses usually will pop my husband out of his bad mood and put him into a horny one... which is not necessarily what I want, but having a horny husband is much better than having a bad mood husband, unless of course his horniness is rejected and then I run the risk of having a husband in a worse mood than what I started with. Men are such complicated creatures.

When my kisses did not work I knew I was in for a long weekend. A weekend of chores, cooking, watching Army movies, helping hold the hammer or screwdriver and eventually black lace. *Big Sigh*

The kids knew that this foul mood meant that they were in for a weekend full of "Clean your room!" "Rake the leaves!" "Why are you watching TV?" "Who's plate is this on the counter?" and the such...

At one point I walked into the family room and found both Aaron and Hope watching TV. I warned them that their father was on his way into the house and if he saw them sitting around and not doing something "constructive" that they would be in for "it." As the words were still lingering in the air, the door started to open. Aaron and Hope made a mad dash for the kitchen only to collide into each other and fall to the floor. Hope jumped up and went to help Aaron but he yelled "Save yourself! Just GO!" My husband walked into the family room and looked at Aaron and said, "Why are you lounging on the floor? Go chop wood until I tell you to stop!"

Aaron looked to me to help get him out of the situation but all I could think of was the time when I was a kid and we were going on vacation. My dad was always in a bad mood when we were going on vacation. I am not sure if it was the packing of the car or the constant license plate game that set him off, but he was always cranky. On this one vacation, we kids started to complain in the back seat. Things like "she is looking at me!" and "Why do I have to sit on the hump?" were heard. When my dad stopped for gas and got out of the car my mother turned around and said "Listen up! I am doing the best I can to make HIM happy, you, I don't care if you are happy or not!"

Having a husband in a bad mood is much like having a black bear living in your house. You can never tell if they are going to be calm and just sniff your campground, or if they are going to slash open your tent and rip your head off. The only difference between my husband and a black bear is that to get the bear under control you have to tranquilize it and helicopter it 100 miles away, with my husband, you don't need to put him in a helicopter.

Thank God for tranquilizer guns.


Kasia said...

Oh dear. You went ahead and got the dog, didn't you... :-p

I hope he's in a better mood now, whatever prompted the bad mood to start with. I would've laughed harder, but I know too well what it can be like...

Michelle said...

Isn't it lovely when you wake up one day and realize that you married your father? I married your father, too. But it's okay, because I must be your mom, since I KNOW I've used her line with my kids.

The Redneck Princess said...

OH Honey, I think your husband's twin lives in my house! That was so on the mark it was uncanny!!

Becky said...

Suburban Oblivion had a link to this post...so here I am!
I like how you are able to see the lighter side of it all! Now I don't think your hubby is just a twin...oh no his triplet lives here at my house!!!
I feel your pain!

jennwa said...

No,its not triplets,it must be quads because I thought I was reading about my house.
We all feel your pain.

The Insane Writer said...

No. It's just a man thing. Or maybe there's some sort of cult.lol I feel your pain. Been there recently too.

Sniz said...

I admit it...I am a lurker on this blog. I read it for comic relief because you are one funny chick. But I'm coming out of lurkdom to express my amazement at the similarities to your husband's foul-mood behavior and my own husband's. The kids, too, run if they are smart and pay the price if they don't. And the trips...my husband is like yours AND your dad when it comes to family vacations. Good post.