10.06.2007

Follow The Yellow Brick Road...

The other day I happened to turn on Oprah and she had Dr. Oz on. Now, if you have never heard of or seen Dr. Oz, he is Oprah's favorite Doc who brings disgusting things on her show like a carotid colon or a festering eyeball. It is all interesting stuff and he is a huge hit with her viewers. One could even say that people are starting to trust Dr. Oz and believe everything he says.

I was pointing that exact notion out to my husband as we sat there and listened to Dr. Oz talk about men's health issues. I said "How do we know Dr. Oz knows what he is talking about? I mean, if he told you that your insides are purple, people would believe him and the entire world would start thinking that their insides were purple. A "purple heart" would take on a whole new meaning!"

Just because Oprah likes someone, does the rest of the country have to like the person as well? Don't get me wrong, if Oprah called me tomorrow and wanted to do a show on fabulous blogger moms who drink and make fun of their neighbors, well then I would be the first one to say "Absolutely!" Could you imagine the hits this blog would get after an appearance on Oprah? I would be uber-famous... but I digress.

How do we know what Dr. Oz is saying is correct, factual, infallible, and true? We don't. That is my point.

I think he proved my point when he made the comment that men should have sex an average of 4 times a week.

Are you kidding me?

He then went on to say that a man's life expectancy is lengthened if he has sex 4 times a week. He made a joking comment that wives need to take heed to his suggestion if they really and truly love their husbands and want them to live a long life.

Now, I don't know about you, but 4 times is a lot. Maybe if I was younger, thinner, didn't have so many kids wearing me out, was rich and had a chef, was rich and had a trainer, got my hair done regularly and my nails done weekly, had a pedicure, and was drunk every night... then my husband would get sex 4 times a week.

As it stands now, he is lucky if he averages 2 times, OK, make it once.

ANYWAY... my husband believed Dr. OZ. Did he believe him because he was on Oprah or because he was suggesting that he should have more sex? I am thinking the latter but what do I know.

Being the good and dutiful wife that I am, I attempted to lengthen my husband's life expectancy this past week.

I am exhausted... a person can not keep this type of schedule up.

Dr. Oz is wrong. If my husband asks for sex one more time this week I may just shoot him. What does that do for his life expectancy?

10 comments:

Sagey said...

Thanks! Now my husband believes Dr. Oz too. How much do you think the male population paid him to say this on Oprah?! ;-)

Momto5Minnies said...

You poor thing ;) Is that why you didn't blog yesterday ?

I don't think I have ever seen Dr. OZ ... I'll have to go look him up.

Terry Nelson said...

I saw that show - yeah - what does he know. Monks live forever.

Having said that, this is one of the funniest posts ever.

Dana said...

I love the song you have to go with this! I always tell my husband that it is is theme song.

Dr. Oz is forever banned from my house because of this.

Special K ~Toni said...

Sadly, my hubby is just gonna die.

:o) said...

ha! My husband would say that's a good start but four times a day would be more like it.

Sniz said...

AMEN TO THIS WHOLE POST, Sister!!!

Kasia said...

Note to self: do NOT let The Canuck see this post! Fortunately, he doesn't watch Oprah...

Maybe the reason those guys who get it four times a week are living so long is that they aren't getting it all from the same woman...maybe they did a study on Mormon fundamentalists...

kristi said...

Good, I don't feel so bad. Hubs is lucky to "get lucky" once or twice a week. Looks like his life expectancy isn't too good!

Yvonne said...

Ha! That was pretty funny! I have that show on my DVR thinking that my hubby should watch it - and all along I was wondering how to edit out that part - now I'm thinking maybe by hitting the delete button....ooops....