5.11.2007

Today is THAT Day

Today is the day... the one where my hormones make me into a crying, screaming, crazy mom.

Today is the day... the one where I can only scream at my husband for not understanding that I don't want his help-but that he isn't doing anything to help me!

Today is the day... where I start to cry because my son won't pick up his socks from the floor.

Today is the day... where I hide in my closet with my head in my hands weeping because I can only wear maternity pants.

Today is the day... the one that only allows me a 45 second shower because no one can hear the baby cry but me and our three year old.

Today is the day... the one where I become insanely jealous of my neighbor who's children are all grown and out of the house and she can come and go in life as she pleases.

Today is the day... the one where I see my blessings as burdens.

Today is the day... where I secretly fantasize about what life would be like without children.

Today is the day... where I want to burn all of the baby books in the world because no one tells you about this day-the one where you hurt, you are sad, and you just want to run away.

Today is the day... when I can't see my life ever getting out of the nursing, diapering, and baby stage.

Today is the day... where I feel trapped.

Today is the day... where I know this is all hormones, but I can't help but feel overwhelmed and under qualified.

Today is the day... where I want all the other moms to know that we all go through this.

Today is the day... where I want all the moms to know that although they feel alone-we have all been at this exact same place.

Today is the day... where I have to convince myself that tomorrow will be better, and next week is not so far away.

Today is the day... that although I feel guilty for all of my thoughts and worries, I am still a good mom and I am OK.

I hate today.

On a positive note... today is the day my "outie" bellybutton turned back into an "innie!"

10 comments:

Michelle said...

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

and congrats on the innie.

pregnancy hormones are having their nasty way with me today. The curse of Eve.

elaine said...

(((((HUGS))))) to you.

I know, I know. It is perfectly okay to feel the way you do. Those feelings will come and go, but become fewer and farther between soon enough.

Shae said...

And if the feelings don't go away, and if you have more bad days than good, don't be afraid to tell your doctor.

I've been there. And I'll pray for you.

Suzanne said...

Just keep cuddling up...it goes as fast as your mother told you it would..not kiddin. I know easier said than done...glad you can write it all out...helps, doesn't it?

Shauna said...

"today is the day my "outie" bellybutton turned back into an "innie!""

And that brings you that much closer to wearning non-maternity pants!

And yes, we've all had those days.

Toni said...

Amen! And Yay! for belly button! Baby steps, Cris, baby steps!

Annie said...

You just brought me right back to those same feelings I had 7 months ago. It's horrible, and the only thing that helps is the tears - let them out 'til there are no more left.

Well, tears and wee, wee glass of wine maybe?

Feel better soon.

AuburnGalAlways said...

Gosh. My Lucky is 3.5 months old and I've yet to have a day like that. Well, I must be a better mom than you.

What's that? Thunder? Lightning? That cloud seems to be coming straight for me. hmmm

OK, the first part? Total lie.

At 3.5 months postpartum, I still feel that way some days.

I totally feel for you and am sending you bloggy hugs.

You're right, though. The men don't get it and no one else hears the cries. And it's not too much to ask for a SHOWER!!!!!! The baby doesn't mind if you don't shower. Just hold her and shower next month.

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

It was a sneak attack this last time (baby 5) The ride home was so sweet, with the kids asking questions and everyone behaving. I was feeling so GREAT!When I walked in the front door I had to go to the bathroom and while I was in there I could hear the normal "getting in the house fussing at each other" the kids do and I couldn't get out there fast enough because I was such a mess (know what I'm sayin'?) and Butch was not reacting fast enough for me and I started to sniffle and then I sobbed until my head hurt. Then I cried because my head hurt. Then I cried when the kids were asking me why I was crying. Then I cried because I was crying so much. Then I just got a paper towel roll, sat on the couch and nursed the baby and cried like a maniac until I ran out of tears and my eyes puffed closed. For two days I told my hubs that I didn't want anyone, even my mom and dad, to come over to see the baby. Then the medication they gave me to induce birth made the rest of me puffier than my eyes and I cried some more. I always forget about that day. It's getting worse with each child but at least I know it goes away in a day or so. Boy, but it's rough at the time, isn't it? Laughter helps, I just think about how ridiculous I look and I laugh myself silly.

EE said...

been there...HUGS!!!