5.22.2007

So, Who Taught YOU How To Be A Mother?

Don't you just love it when complete strangers tell you how to take care of your infant? I had to go to Target because the Maroon 5 CD dropped today and Maroon 5 is my FAV band! I think Adam Levine is just dang sexy... he reminds me of my husband. My little sister says I always say Hot men remind me of my husband--well, they do! Tom Cruise in Top Gun-so my husband. Rob Estes in Melrose Place-spot on for my husband. Ben Affleck in Armageddon-like my husband's twin! The hot sniper guy in Saving Private Ryan-they modeled that part after my husband. So, it is obvious that I would think Adam would remind me of my husband--Levine is the "it" guy right now. He has that cocky confidence that I find just intoxicating in a man and my husband was totally cocky and completely confident when I met him and that just drove me wild~so today, let me have my fantasy and enjoy the fact that Adam Levine from Maroon 5 reminds me of my husband.

Anyway... my wee one was crying, no wailing, at the Target checkout line. I don't know why-she had eaten right before we went on our 30 minute outing that took me 4 hours to get ready for, and she was not poopie, not sleepy, no one was pinching her (the three year old was no where NEAR her!) I guess she just wanted to cry. No big deal... and other than my milk letting down, I did not mind her little outburst. I had one quite similar to it last night--but that is another story for another time.

The cashier, who had to be all of 19 and probably dropped out of high school at 15 but took her GED because the court ordered her to, decided that she was an expert in baby rearing. She looked at me with her glaring eyes and said "Poor baby, she sounds hungry."

Oh really now! Holy Crap! You are a friggen genius! Why did I not think to feed this child today! What kind of mother am I that I have completely and totally forgotten that little infants need to eat! Phew-it is a good thing I came to your check out line Oh Wise and Powerful OZ!

June Cleaver rule #2--never ever never tell a mom that her child sounds hungry. Moms have ears-and a whole lot of crap on their "to-do" list. Unless you want to dine on a knuckle sandwich-keep your thoughts to yourself! This rule is a very good rule for mother-in-laws to follow as well!

8 comments:

Toni said...

'This rule is a very good rule for mother-in-laws to follow as well!' small?? Should be LARGE!

I hate unsolicited advice.

Kara said...

Here here!!! I can't tell you how many times a TarJay cashier has told me how to parent.

Shauna said...

The thing that annoys me the most is that when people tell you your baby is hungry, they are probably the most likely to be offended when you breastfeed them!

moosh in indy. said...

DECK 'ER.
For all us moms out there.
DECK THE LITTLE PERKY BOOBED TWIT.

Michelle said...

A follow on to what Shauna said...that was THE perfect moment to whip one out and latch the little one on!

looking for feedback said...

To all interested moms:

I would like to invite you to participate in a research study of parenting views and practices. Dr. Kim White-Mills and Dr. Catherine Dobris of IUPUI (both are moms) are interested in understanding what sources parents find useful in their parenting practices, how parents use different parenting information, and what views parents across the country hold regarding parenting issues.

To access this survey, go to http://www.iupui.edu/~momviews/

Jennifer said...

Out of the mouths of babes. Heh.

Love, love, love assvice and brilliant comments from idiots.

dw said...

Its not just tarjay, ladies. I have been "assvice" asaulted TWICE now in Trader Joe's. Don't know if you all have them where you live - they are a smaller sort of grocery store that leans in the healthy direction, & thus, attracts more healthnut types.
Anyways, a couple of months ago we were shopping & my then 10 month old was walking around chased by her older sister. She was an early walker, no matter how much we didn't encourage it. She walked at 9 months.
So this lady comes up & starts giving me a speel about how its not good for babies' brain development for them to walk so early & that I should try to get her to crawl as much as I can. Yeah, like what, knock her down everytime she stands up??? Riiight.
The second insident just happened this week. Similarly to what happened to Cris, I was shopping & the baby started fussing. Except that she in fact was hungry or at least just wanted some comfort. So she was pulling my shirt up & grabbing my boobs, so I nursed her while I was walking around. She only nursed for a little bit & then just wanted to be held so I had her straddled on my hip. Then this lady (skinny, perky boob type) comes up to me & reaches out under the baby's legs, grabs my shirt & pulls it down over my belly. It turns out there was a crack of about 1-2 inches of skin showing where my shirt had ridden up while I was carrying the baby straddled on my hip. I was so shocked I couldn't even say anything coherent. The lady said in a very light manner that she thought I would want to know that my belly was showing. Then she walked off. Geez people! I wonder what she would have done if she had seen me a minute before with my shirt pulled up, my whole belly hanging out & a 14 month old latched on to my saggy boob. . .
I think I need to get a shirt made with a nice phrase about not giving unsolicited advice that I can wear when I go shop there!
Alis