dw commented on my post yesterday and she said this:
"Sometimes I really wish we lived back in the old days where life was more community based & mamas would have neighbors to chat with over the fence or to have over for tea during the baby's nap. It would certainly make a difference for me! Especially on those hormonal days."
It got me thinking... why isn't life like that anymore?
We live in a fabulous neighborhood. We have great neighbors and there is not a shortage of kids to play with at all. The husbands are all out on Friday evenings mowing the lawn and Saturday brings cars being washed in driveways and flowers being planted in gardens. It is a modern day Norman Rockwell painting I tell ya--
But it still is not like it was when my I was a kid-or even when my mom was a kid. What has happened to the closeness where if you needed a friend you could find one, you didn't have to wait for them to get back from work or from taking little Johnny to his karate lesson/baseball practice/piano lessons/cub scout meeting/and so on.
I love when people stop by to chat. It gives me a chance to stop my normally scheduled crisis of the day and spend a few moments laughing and feeling like an adult. Nowadays, we have to plan a neighborhood chat. We have to supply beer a lot of the time as well in order to get everyone out of their houses... out from in front of the television... or worse, out from in front of their computers!
We live in a world that is so fast paced. As moms we can attest to the fact that we spend much of our adult lives behind the wheel of a minivan driving children who have multiplied at such rapid speeds that one day you only have one car seat in the rear view mirror and the next you have teenagers, toddlers, and infant car seats. How in the world did THAT happen?
We think of ways to socialize. We go to playgroup, mommy and me swim lessons, mommy and me story time, mommy and me art class, mommy and me therapy... it is ridiculous.
Why do we think that we always have to include our children in our socialization? Even when we have parties, we buy special foods for all of the kids that our friends will be bringing with them. Why is it that in today's world we seem to think that we cannot-or should not-do anything without our children. Why do we think that we can no longer have a life after kids?
When I was a kid, my parents had some crazy parties... I knew this not because I was at the party, but because I found the photos years later hidden in a shoebox in the back of my mom's closet. All I can say is-the 70''s were craaaaaazaaay! I also vividly remember my mother locking us out of the house when her friends/sisters would come over for an afternoon of fuzzy navels and spinach dip. We were free for a few hours, and more importantly, my mom was free for a few hours.
So I agree with dw-life would be so much easier, nicer, tolerable, if we did have that friend who lived just over the backyard fence. I think today I will put on my June Cleaver dress-complete with apron and bake some cookies. I will take them over to my neighbor and have a nice chat. Oh, who am I kidding... if would be much easier if I grabbed a beer out of the garage fridge and walked across the yard and yelled my neighbors name until she comes outside and then she and I can complain about life in general. These are the moments my children will wonder what happened to when they are adults.