4.07.2009

Why? ... And Other Perplexing Questions.

Why do I gain 5 lbs. of water weight over night when I get my period? What could possibly be happening while I sleep?

Why do these 5 lbs. make me want to jump off a bridge?

Why does my hair look good on days that I have nothing to do and don't leave the house?

Why did the man in front of me at Hot Yoga yesterday think that getting a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe on his left calf was a good idea?

How does Burger King make their breakfast biscuits so good?

Why do I only want these breakfast biscuits when I am on my period?

Why does the drive-thru girl at Burger King get irritated with me when I ask for a plain biscuit every morning for a week out of every month?

How do Velcro curlers work? I mean, it amazes me that my hair actually curls using rollers with no heat in them.

Why do I think I am in a perfectly pleasant mood until someone talks to me and I bite their head off and realize that I am not in a good mood at all?

Why do babies wait until they have a clean diaper on to go poo?

Why does my baby prefer to go poo while standing in the back of my walk-in closet... right behind my bridesmaid dress from my sister's wedding?

Why is is that I can't stand the Wiggles and think they are all mentally deranged, but I have little crushes on the Imagination Movers?

Why can't I go to Vegas with my friend just because my husband is deployed? What trouble could I possibly get into in Vegas?

Why did Jennifer Aniston ever date that tool John Mayer?

Why does the nail polish on my toes last for years, but the nail polish on my fingers only lasts for half a day before it chips?

How come there are not any shows on TV like Laverne and Shirley or Happy Days anymore?

Am I the only one that misses big hair'd 80's rock bands?

Why do I feel the need to buy magazines that will give the diet secrets of the stars when I know that their secrets are really just diet pills and starvation?

Why is plastic surgery so damn expensive.

Why does my 14 year old think she deserves a social life on the weekend? pffft.

Why does a rabbit hide eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs, they lay rabbits... Why don't we have a Easter Chicken?

Why does getting a text message excite me?

Why does it take me 30 minutes to text someone back and it only takes them half a second to respond again?

What in the world is a SMS Message?

Is Chad Kroeger married?

Sigh.

13 comments:

Blessed Mama said...

Too funny.
The big haired bands, yep, miss em. I tell ya, Adam Lambert from AI would have been a GREAT 80s rocker.

TangledUpInTennessee said...

Whew! I have all the same questions, June!...and NONE of the answers. For me though, it's got to be McD's Southern Chicken Biscuits with a side of CHEETOS!

That Girl said...

those are all great questions. I was just thinking about shows last week like Three's company. those were the good shows. sigh

Anonymous said...

I think she likes to poo behind your bridesmaid dress because it is so beautiful! :)
Love you - Claire

warren said...

My son used to do his business in his room...but he was big enough to go in and lock the door. That's when I absolutely knew it was time to get him trained!

And heck yeah I miss the hair bands! I have so many...um...good memories from that music. Most songs are best heard in the back seat of a parked car I seem to remember....hmmmm.....

Carrie said...

"There's no bad ideas when you're brainstorming!!" Scott is my fave. Mmmmmmm....

Nat said...

There is an Easter Chicken but only in Finland :)

Anonymous said...

Speaking of bad hair days.
I always said that I was going to get all dressed up and fix my hair and then call the NIPSCO man, the telephone man, the UPS man and have them all show up...when I was looking like a great housewife.
heehee!
Haven't gotten around to that one yet...since I started working fulltime.
;) Great blog.
Aunt Barbara

june cleaver said...

Aunt Barb-that is hilarious! Yesterday-I looked fabulous and had a sick child at home so I never left... today I look like a tornado hit me and I had to go get milk and ran into no less than 10 people I know.

Murphy-if I ever meet him I am going to kick his butt!

Tracy, mom2many said...

Why does the nail polish on my toes last for years, but the nail polish on my fingers only lasts for half a day before it chips?


Because you don't open beer bottles with your toes?

Why does it take me 30 minutes to text someone back and it only takes them half a second to respond again?


And then my answer looks like I had a seizure.

What in the world is a SMS Message?

The world may never know.

I would like to know why my boys would run past 2 toilets to pee outside.

Tink in Cali said...

I feel the exact same way about the Wiggles vs. the Imagination Movers. My son agrees so it is nice I don't have to skeeved out every morning over coffee.

Also, I heard once on the radio that Chad IS married (bummer), but his wife knows the band always comes first.

momto5minnies said...

Those are some good questions.

I can tell you're a smart one Cris. Probably guessing that you drove some adults nutty when you were small ... always asking questions. I have a few girls like that. Guess the apple doesn't fall far.

annemcd said...

no kidding-- what is it about those movers??