Do you ever wake up in the morning and walk through your house and get that "I must clean" feeling? You know the one-the one where you just have to clean your house or you will go stark raving mad at all of the crap everywhere?
That is me today-granted, Friday is my usual "overhaul" day in the house... but I usually do it begrudgingly because I have already picked up the house Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so it pisses me off that I am cleaning it once again on Friday-but I like to go into the weekend with a clean house, you know, in case someone important stops by... like the Queen of England or a random rock star. It also offers me the opportunity of nagging my children the entire weekend by saying things like "Pick up your socks! I just cleaned this place!" or "Put your dishes away-what do you think I am your maid?" and even "I slave and slave around here, giving my life blood to keep this place looking nice and you don't care! Nobody loves me! Nobody cares about their dear old mother... but that is fine, I'll just keep slaving away after you and one day when I am dead and gone and my gravestone is so overgrown with weeds because you never go out to the cemetery to visit me and clean it up-you will think about your old mom and of all the things I did for you-you lazy twerps! I hope you have children just like you when you grow up-then you'll love your mother."
Yes, today I woke up with that really good urge to clean-the urge that will even make me WANT to scrub behind the toilet that my 11 year old son uses (gross) and clean out the fridge... including that mysterious dish in the very back that has been there for 3 months and I forget what was originally in it... because now it looks like a science fair project.
Anyway, in other news...
I have a really good bitch and moan post brewing inside of me that I will share this weekend I am sure... but it is contingent upon how many beers I consume, which may not be many seeing as I am going to take my first "Hot Yoga" class tomorrow morning and I am supposed to be putting only water into my body and not alcohol (stupid class). I will be sure to give you the update of this class-especially since I hate anything that makes me sweat and the thought of any kind of exercise makes me break out in hives... but I am going to try this because it is spring which means summer is right around that corner and I will be forced to take my children to the pool and wear a bathing suit in public. Groan.
Oh-one last thing, does anyone watch any of those housewives shows on Bravo? You know-the Orange County, Atlanta, New York Housewives where they find the most annoying women completely out of touch with reality and ironically film them to make a reality show? Well, it seems they are going to have a Housewives of New Jersey now (premier May12). Why don't they do something normal like "The Real Housewives of Omaha"where they show normal women-women who clean their own houses, raise their own children, cook their own dinners and do not have jewelry lines or clothing lines or cocaine lines? Why do we have to watch plastic women leading lives that we will never lead? It pisses me off-just like those commercials with Kelly Ripa where she has all of those really expensive appliances that make her life so easy that she makes us normal housewives look like peasants and horrible mothers. TV producers can suck it if they think flaunting someone who is rich and has a chef, trainer, nanny and a maid in front of my face on the television is going to make me want to buy their product. Put ME on a commercial-I'll tell you like it is.
I think I may be starting to PMS... which may explain why I ate 3 loaves of bread yesterday.
Gird you loins Six-Packers... I have a feeling this one is going to be a doozy.