Rode Hard and Put Up Wet... All The Way To Miss June's Monday Swoon

(Thanks for the photog Outlaw)

A wise woman put her request in early for this week's Monday Swoon. It seems that cowboys are what makes her all giddy and happy... and you know me, I aim to please when it comes to the faithful Six-Packers.

When I read that she wanted cowboys-I didn't hesitate and happily started scouring the Internet for photogs of celebrities in cowboy roles-because let's face it ladies-the Monday Swoons are all about the eye candy that we see at the movies. I could put my husband on the Monday Swoon every week... but eventually you all would want to hunt me down and kill me so that you could steal my meaty piece of swoon and I have to protect what is mine, and THAT is why I put celebrities on this blog. Honest. Cross my heart.

I sat and tried to think of a movie star who was a cowboy and I came up with little because if I am being honest, cowboy movies are for the mens-not the wimins... and even though we may go see a cowboy movie with our main squeeze, we really don't want to be there but are going in order to make the man that we love and adore happy... because that is what we women are all about... making our man happy. Happy and content. Happy, content and in charge. Happy, content, in charge and made to think he is Superman. Yep-Superman. I don't know how men misread our signals because I know as well as you do that we women would not complain one iota about socks on the floor or the toilet seat up if they would just put a cowboy hat on every once in a while, tip it at us when they see us and say "Howdy Ma'am" with a southern drawl that would make our knees weak. It wouldn't hurt if they had a pair of Wrangler jeans on and some cowboy boots complete with spurs and the earth's dirt from a hard day out on the ranch either.

Yes Sir... we are simple creatures aren't we ladies?

So... without further adieu, let's saddle up shall we?

Now, because of Six-Pack rules and guidelines, it states in chapter 45 page 764 line 4 subtext 7b, of the "handbook" that I must put a movie star on the Monday Swoon... so I put the only cowboy movie star that I could think of. Sam Elliot is the only one I could think of because once I remembered that he was Virgil Earp in Tombstone-I couldn't remember what day it was let alone any other actors playing cowboys. I mean, just look at him.... if he ain't a swoon-I don't know who is!

Black hat... check. Ironed shirt... check. Strong jaw... check. Tiny waist above a tiny ass... check.

8 seconds... that is all I need too.

Look at the power between his legs. Mercy.

I wonder if he likes to watch sunsets over the prairie.

I would like to kiss the person who invented chaps.

You can carry a gun on you... but you can't go into a bar with spurs on your boots. Honest-that was a rule when we lived in Prescott AZ-no spurs allowed on your boots in a bar... but you could have your gun as long as it was not concealed... so not only were there cowboys with hats and boots and wranglers-but they had holsters attached to their waists slightly slinging down with a gun sitting in it. No wonder all of those pioneer women had so many babies.

Seriously? Is it getting hot in here?

Oh Lawsy me!

Cowboy 1: "So last night I ran a bath for my wife and put bubbles in it and lit some candles."
Cowboy 2: "Nah?"

Cowboy 1: "Yessir, I read in Cosmo that the lady folk like that kind of thing."

Cowboy 3: "Really, What else did you read?"

Cowboy 1: "Women like a sensitive man-so I listened to her talk about her fight with her best girlfriend for an hour."

Cowboy2: "Nah?"

Cowboy 1: "Yeah, and then I suggested that we just cuddle when we went to bed."

Cowboy 3: "What kind of devil book is this Cosmo?"

Cowboy 1: "It works I tell ya! When I suggested we cuddle she told me to go get my chaps on-and nothing else and meet her in the bedroom."

Cowboy 2: "Nah?"

Cowboy 1: "Cosmo knows it's stuff, now lets go get all dirty and sweaty and brand us some livestock."

Cowboy 3: "Are those the chaps you wore last night?"

Cowboy 1: "Yeah, why?"

Cowboy 3: "Are they the ones you wore on Monday when we cut all of the calf nuts off and you were wiping your bloody knife on them?"

Cowboy 1: "Yeah... so?"

Cowboy 3: "I wonder what Cosmo would say about that!"

Have saddle... will ride.

Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys... because then they would look like this and I don't know if the earth could stand to have too many men who looked like they could eat nails for breakfast. Us women would get NOTHING done!

That is either a angry bull behind him or an angry woman. eh, I bet is it a bull... how could anyone stay mad long at a man who could stand like that? The anticipation is killin' me!

Cowboys are patriots.

Enjoy ladies! Y'all come back now ya' hear?


Enbrethiliel said...


Just wondering: is that last cowboy Ree Drummond's husband, better known as "Marlboro Man"? (I think I recognise the dog! =P)

Out on a Limb said...

OMG, GW made the swoon worthy list! I LOVE it!

Maria Grace said...

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy"- Big and Rich

the Mom said...

Amen, Maria Grace.

Thank you for the requested swoon. It made my little Texan heart go pitter-pat this morning and painted a permanent grin on my face. Those of us fortunate enough to be raised in God's country will always have a soft spot for a man with a slightly bow-legged swagger, a constant case of hat-head (when he actually takes it off), and the tangy musk of a hard day's work in the sunshine. Even those of us who marry Computer Guys who have only ridden a horse once in their life but always dreamed of riding the range and name all our sons after gunfighters. What? Is that only me?

Anonymous said...

I always thought James Garner made a handsome Maverick.
Great swoon day...
Aunt Barbara

Kristina said...

LOL the Mom, That is all true! It's really too bad we've stopped having kids, because they would all be named after guns, at this point.

Thank you, mamn. Can I have another?

powdergirl said...

Believe it or not, my farrier could give all those delicious wranglers a run for their money, he is STUNNING.
My horse had the best maintained hooves you have ever seen!
I was always trying to get him to do my pedi's for me, too. Hardly seemed fair that my horse got all the attention(pout).
Nice post, ma'am. Tip o' the hat.

Schmoochiepoo said...

My God...cowboys make life worth living :)

Thanks for the swoon!


Urban Mom said...

Another Amen to Maria Grace!

As ever, June -- you are the best cyber-friend ever ever ever.


Linda up north said...

Well for me you could have stopped with Sam E. That guy has always been at the top of my list. And besides being so darn good lookin' his voice is just too good... ;)

Anonymous said...

Yee Haw!

My girlfriend used to have the saying "Wrangler Butts Drive Me Nuts!" on her vehicle's license plate holder. Sigh.

Great photos, but I have to take you to task on the statement that women don't like westerns. What? Is that maybe the 'city girl' in you talkin'? I'm a wimmins and last night I watched the John Wayne movie - The Cowboys, all by myself while I gave myself a pedicure.

Now, you made me watch Wuthering Heights a few weeks back and it was great, but a girl can also like westerns.

A fan from the Big Sky Country.

Melissa said...

Well done, June.
Wish you would have included Tim McGraw. He is so yummy!

Anonymous said...

Hot men I tell ya. My favorite kind for sure. I watched some of the ACM (American Country Music awards) last night JUST to see the hot guys on there with their boots and hats and wranglers.
My favorite hunk of country music meat, Trace Adkins. That voice, the stach and such, the long hair and did I mention the voice? Yeah, I love it.....totally swoon worthy!

Audrey said...

LOVE... the last pic. Thanks for the swoon this week!

Kimberly said...

I absolutely love cowboys!!!yeehaw

Layna said...

GIDDY UP!!! Thank YOU from this country girl. BTW "South" wasn’t Iowa but Key West, FL. Felt like hot yoga but only because it was frickin’ hot while we were pub crawling. I saw this shirt and thought of you and again when I got caught up on your posts tonight. Drunk Yoga = Irish Yoga!

And I know it’s not Nickleback but I we rubbed elbows with Tommy Tutone – his wife liked my button “I’d rather be 40 than pregnant” so I gave it to her. Like the song, did you ever give out your # as Jenny 8675309?

It wouldn't let me post the pics so here is the link for Irish Yoga:

wankette said...

Once again, we are of the same mind, check my hubba-hubba for Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

And George Straight, he is definitely swoon worthy.
Aunt Barbara

warren said...

I don't know if Sam Elliot is swoon-worthy, but I will doubly grant you that he is bad ass!

Kasia said...

C'mon, June - John Wayne may be dead, but he definitely rates a swoon photo!!!

And if you're talking about bad-a** men who look like they could eat nails, you better be thinking about a Monday swoon with Steve McQueen!!!

Clint Eastwood?

GroovyVic said...

Sam Elliot is very swoon worthy. All of us ladies were very excited to hear the rumor that he was at the Gettysburg reenactment in 1996...alas, it was just a rumor and he did not show up to reprise his role of Gen. John Buford.

Mathilda said...

Yup, yup, and yup. Where is Tim McGraw, Val Kilmer (Tombstone), Heath Ledger. No, actually, just where's Tim?

Mathilda said...

Now what about contemporary horse riders? Have you seen the series Jockeys on Animal Planet? Yeah some are a little short and skinny, but can you imagine what they can do with the power in their legs and hips? Kinda like dating a hockey player, talk about core stabilizers, wheewyoo. One of my favorite is Aaron Gryder.

Anonymous said...

The best one yet!

Melissa said...

Tom Selleck in Quigley Down Under, if you need cowboy movies.

What a great post...
A misplaced Texan stuck in AZ

Stephanie said...

Sam Elliott.......sigh.........

and Tom Selleck does need to be on this. Clint Eastwood, and The Duke! Last piccie posted made me cry!

Rachel said...

Tim, Tom, Val...Clint when he wasn't squinting or shooting people to death....Sam's okay, but he could ditch the 'stache, for my tastes...

The boys on Bonanza (what was the oldest boy's name--not Hoss, the other guy, the one that wasn't Michael Landon?)

Let's see...who else? Trying to think of recent westerns...Hm. What was that one in Australia? With Nicole Kidman? Who was that guy...the one that played Wolverine in the XMen movies...Hugh Jackman...that's a good look...

MMMMmm. And Marlboro Man does look good (thanks for sharing him with us, Ree! ;-) ).

Does my heart good (and keeps me from having to go workout somewhere, too)...


Soliloquy said...

Cowboys aren't my thing, but I loved the last photo.

GAH. Love Dubya. Miss him.

But I can't say I'd SWOON over him.

Can I request a Pool Boy edition of the Monday Swoon?