I Went To Hot Yoga And All I Got Was Wet Shorts...

I was all set to give you a rip-roaring horror story about my morning "Hot Yoga" experience... but I have to admit, I kind of loved it.

I know! How weird is that? I mean, I hate anything to do with working out and what is worse is that I hate anything to do with sweating and being hot. I make it a personal rule to never sweat-even when I did work out (as in running, aerobics, and yes... spinning hell class) I did not sweat that much-I always thought of myself as a "glistener"... I "glistened" during those work out regiments and I was fine with that because I did not want to be one of those people who sweat so much that there are drips coming off of their noses and down their arms and pooling in the crotch of their underpants. No-I did not want to sweat so the simple fact that my body did not sweat so much was fine with me. I chucked it up to good genes... or the fact that I probably walk around dehydrated, but that was okay with me-I would rather be dehydrated than look like a wet rag.

But today, I sweat like a pig. Yep. I even had it dripping off of the end of my nose... and guess what? I loved it.

I know! How weird!

You see, "Hot Yoga" is a class where you do some yoga stances in a 105 degree room-and the more people in the class, the hotter the room will get. I think it was about 115 degrees when we were done, which is what I am sure the surface of the sun is set at.

My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest and I couldn't figure out why because we were basically stretching for 90 minutes... yes, 90 minutes of stretching things that I didn't know needed to be stretched in a room as hot as Satan's bedroom.

Did I mention that I was half naked? Yeah-I knew it was going to be hot and my friend had told me to wear as little clothing as possible-so I donned a tank top and itty bitty shorts and stretched myself bending and posing and pulling and leaning. The last time I did so many positions with so little clothing was in January when The Ward was home... and the last time I was in a room full of other half naked people was-uhm, never mind.

I think this may be something that I actually DO... not just say I am going to do and then give up after a while because I can't handle the running and the grapevine moves and the weight lifting and the instructor that tells you you only have 12 more reps of something and then tricks you and makes you do another 12.

I liked the instructor-and she didn't make us bow or pray or say any foreign words. It was all very chill-well, other than the fact that it is hard to chill when you are sitting in hell's waiting room-but you know what I mean.

So it is official... I may just be a granola. First I cut out meat and become a vegetarian... now I am taking up yoga.... next thing you know I'll stop shaving my arm pits and move into a tree.

Pfft... stop shaving my arm pits? No... I am obsessed with shaving my arm pits-and if you know me at all you know that I have OCD with certain things like mascara application and deodorant strokes-so I think I would go crazy if I stopped shaving the pits. Not as crazy as I am right now knowing that I enjoyed sweating like a construction worker this morning-but still crazy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go look up the meaning of chung fu-or was it sheng fui-maybe shuang fei. Something like that...


Anonymous said...

It's Feng shui, finding the positive qi & improving life ma'am. Read this 1 twice this aftn & worked up a little sweat myself just reading it, haha. Make sure you hydrate yourself before, during & after these hot yogas.
Buzzy [taking a cold shower soon]

Kasia said...

Good for you, June!!! Not a yoga gal myself, but I'm always impressed when someone finds something they think is worth sweating over. (I haven't, yet...)

Anna B. said...


"next thing you know I'll stop shaving my arm pits and move into a tree".

Anonymous said...

Okay, why do you pick the time when I CAN'T do that kind of working out to gloat about it! I'm the one who works out in this family! ME! Quit stealing my thunder! Or...you can do it for the next 5 mo. and then it's mine again! :0)
Love you and glad you're getting healthy.

Cassie said...

I don't even know who you are anymore. :-)

june cleaver said...

Buzz... what was it that you liked so much? The shaving the arm pits bit?

Claire... just hurry up and come visit me so that I can take as many pictures as possible with me skinny and you pregnant. :)

Cassie... it is still me-I swear that I was cursing like a sailor the entire time I was enjoying my sweat.

Anonymous said...

You're so lucky you didn't say Fat!

Anonymous said...

Miss Cleaver,
Mostly it was the 1/2 nekid sweaty stuff & the positions stuff was ok too. Heck ma'am, all of it was pretty suggestive. But then most of us jet jocks are easily xcited these days. We've worked around alot of middle easter women who aren't big on the pit shaving [have always thought the 1's in the blue burkas were kinda hairy anyway, why else would Mohammad want them all covered up] & we're ok with that since we're not into the whole metrosexual manscaping thing either. It's only fair I guess. Carry on & don't forget to stay hydrated & keep a check on the heart rate, anything over 140 & it's time to cool your jets.

june cleaver said...

Sorry Buz-I'll try and be more "G" rated from now on.


Kimberly said...

I enjoy yoga but I truly prefer drunk yoga as much as drunk pilates really.

Urban Mom said...

My gym offers a hot room yoga class, but I've never checked it out. You've inspired me! Now where were you when it was -17 outside? That seems like the perfect kind of day to go do this. Ah well, either way, you have once again set the tone. I have to go get myself some Namaste time with the other groovy people at the gym!

Seriously, great work! Yoga does great things for the bod. Plus, it just kinda feels good. Enjoy!

june cleaver said...

Kimberly... I have never thought of trying it drunk-I bet it would be totally hilarious how hot it is if I were drunk.

UMom... just do it kid.

warren said...

See...that pic you put up there of that sweaty yoga girl...*swoon*

southernjoy said...

Sounds like you and Matthew have more in common these days... stop wearing deodorant and I just bet he'll fall in love with you!

Soliloquy said...


If you go a "Gym Goddess" on us, you're going to start FEELING better which will mean you will have a better attitude, which will mean you'll stop bitching and then your blog is going to SUCK.

Please. Have a beer, grab and ding dong and for the love of all that is holy go ease yourself onto the couch.