Up Next... College

Well, it seems my baby has moved into the next stage of life... the stage where she no longer tugs at my shirt and begs to be nursed by climbing up in my lap and cuddling into my body (she is so much like her father... I digress).

I have been slowly weaning baby Mary because she will be going off to College next year and I thought it was time for her to grow up a bit. Ha ha... relax, she is only 19 months. I was not planning on taking out the final feeding before bedtime until next week but tonight after she had her bath and pj's on she all but dove into her crib without even a howdy do to me and my nursing self.

Part of me wanted to celebrate because now I can do all of those things my mother told me I couldn't do while nursing like drinking... and making prank phone calls. I look forward to getting completely hammered this weekend and calling my mother at 2 a.m. and asking her if her refrigerator is running because I no longer have a little person sucking all of the bad things from my body into hers. What a relief!

The other part of me was really sad. I was rejected and tossed aside like a cheap date on Saturday morning by my youngest and favorite child. I bet by tomorrow night she won't even remember the long nights we spent together where she nursed every 2 hours and was only calmed by my mother's milk. Weep.

Would I have felt better if I laid her down and she screamed to be nursed for 3 hours before I finally gave in? You betcha! At least then I would know that she still needed me. Before you know it she will be potty trained and dating the boy down the street and getting married and having a child of her own!

Motherhood is hard. We dream of having independent children who will be capable and successful, but when it happens our hearts break a little don't they? As a mother, I want to hold on to my children forever and with each year they take steps further and further away from me.

It is days like these that I think of having another baby so that I can feel needed again... but then I remember what it is like to nurse the little maniac every 2 hours and I grab a beer out of the fridge and call my mother and ask for Jacques Strap.


TRO said...

This was a good post although I probably liked it for all the wrong reasons.

Denn Mom said...

Oh it's so true... but at least she's not ditching you for her father... my 4-year-old now wants Daddy to put her to bed at night, a job that was solely mine since the day she was born. You're right... you're elated in one sense and totally dejected in another. Being a mom is hard.

Emily K said...

I'm currently working on weaning my 2 year old. Actually, his closer to 3 than 2! It is crazy - my children want to nurse forever it seems....How do you do it?!

Emily K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sister Mary Martha said...

We'll say a little prayer to St. Agatha. She had a lot of breast pain.

Kimberly said...

Oh goodness, I know exactly what you mean. When my 27 month old weaned himself just a month before his second birthday, it was a total surprise. One night he nursed for thirty, count 'em, THIRTY minutes. The next night he futzed around for a second and I asked him if he wanted to nurse or have daddy read a book. And he said, "daddy read a book!" and scrambled down from my lap.

ARGH! So sudden!

Delilah said...

I just weaned my youngest last week! Then last night my husband tok me out to a fancy dinner with lots of drinks! Hey wait: He did that after my oldest one weaned too, that is how we got her baby brother! I think he has a plan!!!

Jennie said...

Thanks for this post- I have been busy being sad because my baby (and only) is growing up- we took him to his open house for next year's preschool yesterday. I can't believe how fast they grow.

Pedge said...

Sip, sap. I just wanted to represent all the women who nurse but do not LOVE it. Yes it's sweet and all, and of course, good for them, but I'm pushing 8 months with my youngest and am ready for it to be over. Come on table food! I love my babies, I love my toddlers, and I love when they are old enough to go to school.
June, you are cracking me up with all the beer! You seem a little more Lavern and Shirley than June Cleaver. Funny stuff!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Great post!

Alicia said...

My boss thinks I'm delusional because I am sitting here laughing loudly and there's no one else in here. I love your punch line about Jacques Strap.

I am going through that very same thing. Except I'm not weaning a nursing baby. I am weaning my toddler son from being rocked to sleep every night and it is so very hard for me. What makes it so hard is that he doesn't cry for me. He's a big boy now. We tuck him in, kiss him goodnight, and he just rolls over and hugs his stuffed elephant and goes right to sleep. It's heartbreaking. Children really do grow in the blink of an eye.

I'm still tyring to find the pause button.

Urban Mom said...

U-Kid 2 ditched me at 10 months. *sigh* And now my back is killing me because I carry her too much. But I know that she's my last baby, so I let it ache for a bit longer.

Again, *sigh*.

Then again, I do love having a cocktail with a clear conscience!


Brenda said...

Wow, did you open my brain up today and peek in? My daughter, Maggie is 23 months old and finally got to a point where she is okay with me telling her "no nurse" but still nurses in the a.m. and before naps.

Most of the time, I would be fine if she was DONE! But we have fertility issues on both sides and part of me wonders if "this time" might be the "last time" i nurse at all.

And I kinda worry too that I won't be able to get her to lay down and go to bed if I can't nurse her!