12.28.2008

Is It Over Yet...

Sooo, how has your Christmas Break been going so far? That bad eh? Mine too... oh now, it hasn't been all that bad. I can safely say that the American Economy may have taken a turn for the better because I started shopping last week and have not been able to stop. Why? I don't know... if I knew, I would stop, but since I do not know... I will continue.

Maybe I am trying to fill a void... I'm not sure.

Christmas without Carl was hard... and that is about all I want to say on that topic.

Let's move onto something else shall we? How about Christmas with my mother-in-law? That is right... I said it. My mother-in-law has been spending the Christmas holiday with us. I don't know how she found our house... I told her that we still lived in Virginia, but one day she just showed up on our doorstep with a suitcase full of cilantro and pinto beans.

Well, maybe that isn't the way it happened. It was all your fault actually, with all of your comments and niceties that made me soft. I am used to being a little more irritated and angry, but you people have made me weak and vulnerable. So stop it will you? Please, I prefer sarcasm to nice, edgy to sweet. If you can't say something that will make me more cynical, then please do not say anything at all... I'm kidding. No I'm not.

I bought my mother-in-law a plane ticket a few weeks ago so that she could spend the Holiday with us.

So that she wouldn't be alone on Christmas.

So that she could be a distraction for me and my own pity party.

So that she could play with the little people who are out of school for almost three stinkin' weeks!

So far is has been going rather smoothly... other than the fact that I have been permanently planted on the toilet. It could be because she has reintroduced my body to a diet of oil and oil, and a little lard, and the occasional dollop of poison. Did I mention oil? But that mysterious spot I had on the middle of my back has disappeared so she must be telling me the truth when she says she is a witch. Hmmm.

The kids have been doing well... if you don't pay attention to the whining, the lack of sharing and the overall greediness that Christmas has brought. Ahhh, tis the season. Maybe they are hard to handle because I am on my period... and my mother-in-law is in my kitchen... and my checkbook has run out of checks so that means that I must have run out of money... and my little sister gave me cocktail napkins for Christmas that say "Diet, another way to say Did I Eat That?"

Now I have to start thinking of New Years Resolutions. Maybe I should resolve to not resolve anything. Maybe I should resolve to gain weight... that one I could keep!

Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Mine was really good once the vodka kicked in... and the Benedryl too. Oh stop... the Benedryl was for my mother-in-law, not the children. The vodka was for the kids.

I just had pie.

10 comments:

Ambitious Redhead said...

Glad you had a good christmas! :)

Lisa said...

You make me laugh. In fact, I woke up sort of cranky, but I now am smiling. So, next time you are feeling like you aren't the world's most important person, remember some 45 year old woman in PA, had a change of attitude on a Sunday morning, all because of your blog.

Wow, you are powerful (and much nicer than I am. I don't speak to my MIL)and I bet you didn't know it.

Lisa said...

You truly are a saint. If my mil was to visit for more than say, 2 hours, I would have to hit the vodka (pie just wouldn't be enough). We're still awaiting her obligatory holiday visit, but the clock is a tickin' away on my patience. If she doesn't show up in the next few days, I'm going to drop her gifts off at her house while she's at work and then leave town for a few days.

Sorry about the hard time you're having without Carl - I can only imagine (but wouldn't want to) how up and down you're feeling.

Kasia said...

Hugs going out over the Great Midwest...and the VeeSee gift card just came - thank you so much!!! Proper thanks coming soon...

Judi McD said...

You made my day after a hard day at Wally World. I know your MIL. Aunt Judi

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

Oh, somebody call the Wambulance! Wait, was the bit about saying something sarcastic in the other post? I don't care. You can't tell me the MIL is completely useless in your household, if nothing else you get to drink Vodka without worrying about who's watching the kids...
Besides, they'll be heading back to school soon enough. Look on the bright side, at least you don't still have 18 hours of driving to get back home like I do!

The Wannabe Redhead said...

Pie is a great cure....unless your mother forgets to make your favorite kind! ...I swear, sometimes she forgets I'm her favorite daughter....sheesh!

Hope said...

This comment is post irrelevant, but I was writing a post and looking up some old material and realized it was you that made a comment a year ago about religion. I never said thank you at the time-- the link didn't work. I read you all the time and it means a lot to me that you posted what you did.
Happy New Year.

the other 'leen said...

I may be a cynical (or some in my family may call it devious) person, but flying the MIL out for Christmas ensures that there will be no surprise houseguests visiting during the long awaited and much deserved R&R, no? I prefer to call it genius! Happy new year!

june cleaver said...

it only takes a criminal mind to understand another criminal mind.

*wink*