8.22.2007

I Say Blame His Mother...

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict."
The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.
"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."


Hmmm, my guess is that you deserved this because you were watching television NAKED and you were DRUNK and probably UNEMPLOYED!

12 comments:

Terry Nelson said...

Vodka had to be the accelerant... I can't help but wonder if it was a small fire.

Cris said...

Terry... what a waste of good Russian vodka don't you agree?

Momto5Minnies said...

LOL! ... Definitely a waste of good vodka.

Hey, you have to check out this ebay auction (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675#description) I was cracking up. When I showed it to the hubby he asked if it was you.

Special K ~Toni said...

Bahahaha! Let this serve as a warning to me everywhere!

Dana said...

(I think Toni meant "men everywhere".)

Does seperating your own clothes from the wet clothes in the washing machine and putting only those in the dryer warrant this punishment? Just asking, you know, just in case my husband ever did that.....

Cris said...

Dana... I think a simple laxative in the meatloaf will be punishment enough for that offense, now if he were watching TV in the nude, drinking vodka and sorting only his laundry for the dryer, well then the fire may be the only way I do recommend a "warning" fire first though-just singe the hairs-don't go for the whole sha-bang.

joshua said...

Momto5minnies... the ebay link is canceled! I am really wondering now.

June Cleaver, I love your blog. I found you through Angela Sustala! I crack up almost everyday.

Cris said...

Josh... "almost" everyday? Dang, I need to work harder!

Kasia said...

Yes you do, Missee - get posting! ;-)

joshua said...

Ok everyday. I was trying not to inflate your ego! I am Irish too and I know how it goes to our head!

Carolina Cannonball said...

"burned like a torch"

oh my. The sick mental visuals. LOL

Cris said...

Joshua... you know it is not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

I don't think Irish people are egotistical at all. We can't help it is everyone is jealous of us.

Ireland forever my brother