The Emergency Room Is Our Home Away From Home...

As is tradition when my husband is out of town... we had to go to the emergency room. It usually snows when he is out of town and I have to do all of the shovelling as well. That guy must have a mole in heaven that lets him in on all of the disasters and catastrophes that are about to take place in our home and he makes sure he is on another continent when it happens. That way I can't really blame him right?

Anyway, yesterday was the day I had to run to the emergency room with my children.

We were having a homeschool haircut day. This means that a really nice lady comes into my home and cuts all of the homeschool heads of hair within a 20 mile radius. There are people coming in and out of the house for 3 solid hours. What used to be a clean house with toys put away and floors clean quickly turns into a house that looks like Santa Clause threw up in it. There are toys everywhere and little people running rampant.

At one point I was on the phone with a friend giving her directions to my house. I had the phone in one hand and the baby in the other. Emma came up behind me and decided to sit down at my feet. I did not see her there. When I turned to walk away I tripped over her.

It was as if my feet were bound with leather straps and I hit my knees first. One knee hitting the hardwood floors and the other knee smashing one of Emma's fingers to bits. If you want to know what the inside of a finger looks like, just ask me. To date I have seen the insides of Aaron's fingers and now Emma's. Nice.

After my knees hit the floor, the rest of my body was on a path for destruction. I dropped the phone which shattered and then my elbow collided with the floor, and then, yes Dear God, Mary Claire's head hit the floor.

It was awful. I instantly scrambled to pick her up and she was crying. Emma was crying as well-or actually, it was really a bloody scream that Emma was doing.

I quickly walked away from all noise and held my baby and prayed instant prayers of pleading and begging.

I kicked everyone out of my home and loaded my van up with my kids. We were off to the ER. When I walked into the garage I discovered that our dog (who was locked away in the garage because there are kids in this world who are afraid of little 10 lb. dogs who will lick all of the snot off of their noses and eat the snack out of their hands) decided to rip up the kitchen trash bag that I threw in the garage just seconds before the first haircut rang our doorbell. There was a mess in the garage but I had no time to clean it up. I would have to deal with the dog later. I let her into the house and started tearing down the street toward the hospital.

By the time we got there Emma had calmed down and by the time we were finally led into a room Mary Claire was cooing and Emma was doing cartwheels down the hall, so as most of my ER visits go, I looked like a crazy woman who had children who were perfectly fine. I am sure the nurses were told to put me on psychiatric observation because my children seemed completely normal. Not a thing wrong.

We had x-rays done on both kids-one of Emma's finger (which is just smashed but not broken) and one of Mary Claire's head (which gave me a clue as to when those little teeth of hers are about to pop through). Both were fine. Nothing broken, nothing fractured, nothing cracked, and nothing life altering.

We returned home to find that the dog had pooped twice in the house because of all of the trash she had eaten.

Today Emma had the pleasure of telling everyone that would listen that her mommy smashed her finger.

I need to call and make sure they spell my name correctly on the "Mother of the Year Award" that I am sure to get from this. I mean seriously.


Kasia said...

Oh, you poor girl! Thank God that everyone's OK.

I don't know how you do it.

Kristina said...

So, you're one of "those" moms. Kinda like me! Yup, every time my husband goes somewhere, we end up at the ER. It seems like that, anyway. I even had a Dr tell me that I could do my well baby appts with him if I wanted to. Ha, ha, ha, very funny.

Do you ever wonder if the government has satelites pointed at your house to make sure this isn't abuse? Do you at least take them to different emergency rooms? I'm just joking, people.

I'm glad all the kiddies are okay. How are YOU? Those knees can hurt!

+JMJ+ said...

Man, I feel for you! What a day!

Kathryn said...

I feel your pain, I hope today was much better!

kat said...

We've all been there, when my son was having an acute appendicitis (which had burst two days previously)I put him in a wheelchair (because at that point he couldn't walk - that's how I gauge the need to go to the ER)I was steering him into the hospital when I slipped and he went off the curb, after I banged him off a couple of walls in the ER waiting room, Coach finally took over the driving. It's amazing he still in one piece, lol.

Hilary said...

Poor you. Which child do you run to first?

It reminded me of years ago, a friend of a friend, whose two (of five) kids came running to her post wrestling match, screaming and crying, both bleeding profusely. One had lost a tooth. The other found it.. embedded in his head.

I feel for you.

mamaDB said...

Girl, you are going to have some stiff competition in the Mother of the Year catagory.

I baked some biscuits one time and BusterBrown put his hand on the door of the oven (ours gets hot as it is older than dirt) and we had to go to the emergency room - he was cooing in the car on the way there. There was another time I thought Peanut may have swallowed a battery (small lithium) and I called Poison Control. They told me to go to the hospital and get her X-rayed. I decided she was probably fine but Poison Control called me back to check that I had taken her in. I had visions of the CPS coming to take my kids away so off we went.

Hubby was incommunicado at the time too. I'm sorry you had to deal with this on your own. I'm so glad everyone is relatively okay!

Beth said...

Luckily I have only been to the emergency room once with my son. Couldn't imagine having to go and return home to a house full of dog poop! That's just the icing on the cake.

What a day! Glad everyone is o.k.

Michelle said...

Glad everyone is okay.

My husband is always away when it snows too.

Lori said...

What a crappy day. Glad no one got hurt.
Love ya.

Momto5Minnies said...

YIKES ... you had a rough day.

Glad to hear that all was okay.

Mary Poppins NOT said...

So, at the end of a day like this, was it wine, whiskey, or beer?

:o) said...

Sorry you had such a hideous day. At least they were mostly ok.

Stina said...

So true about the husbands...it was our first winter in Boston and we had something like the 4th largest snowfall one weekend. Where was my husband? ALABAMA! Not for a few days, but for a month. And where was I? At home, wiht my St. Bernard trying to shovel a place for her to go to the bathroom because Heaven forbid her rear end touch the snow. Did I mention I was 5 months pregnantat the time?

blunoz said...

Glad you're all okay!

Our last visit to the ER was when YS put a raisin up his nose. We spent a hundred times long waiting in the waiting room than we actually spent with the doctor. He looked in YS's nose, said, "Yep! There's a raisin in there." Then he said, "Okay, Dad, you're going to do a little mouth-to-mouth. I'm going to pinch his left nostril shut while you blow in his mouth." I looked at him like he had three heads, but I did what he said. With a little puff from me, the raisin went skyrocketing across the ER and ricocheted off the ceiling. Gosh, if I had only known it would be so simple - I coulda done that at home!

the Mom said...

Okay, I get to sound like your grandma...Offer it up, Sweetie.

It's gotta be good for YEARS off of Purgatory.

the Mom

Devin said...

Yup, my husband travels and all the "good" stuff happens as soon as he leaves.

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart!! Why does this always happen? Dads always get to duck out of all of the BIG fun. Hope things are looking up!! ;)

mel said...

haha! My kids act perfectly well in the emergency room/doctor's office even though they were *dying* at home as well. I've been known to say, "You better sit down and *ACT SICK* right this minute!"

Regina said...

Unrelated comment,
My husband has been working on a post for the USMC birthday and Veteran's Day-which I had to help him with since he is a non-blogger. I then remembered that you are an Air Force family. Please tell your husband thank you (personally) for his service to our country and thanks also to your family for your sacrifice in his service.
May God Bless you all for your sacrifice and may He continue to keep your husband safe.

Anonymous said...

Oh, who cares about the Mother of the Year Award. You keep going like this and you won't have any Purgatory time! Heck, St Peter might have to figure some kind of deal to compensate for all the indulgences still left over!

I love your blog and your sense of humor. :-)

God bless you and your family!