9.03.2009

Can I Carry Your Baggage For You?

Are all little children carriers? You know what I am talking about... little kids who carry random objects around every day, like mom's favorite pair of panties or dad's old used hanky?

All of my kids have been carriers in some way or another.

Well, Hope was more of a dragger... she used to tie string around the necks of her stuffed animals and drag them behind her everywhere she went. She had the string tied so tightly that if they were real animals we would have had to have them stuffed anyway after they had died from asphyxiation.

Aaron was a tucker... he used to tuck all kinds of things in his pockets. In the evening I had to empty his pockets and would find things like matchbox cars, marbles, dice, old crusty boogers, compost, and day old salami. You think I am joking.

Emma was a carrier... but she was a small time carrier. She would only choose one thing to carry-but the object changed from day to day. One day she would not be able to live without her baby doll, the next day she would have a melt down it I tried to take the ace of spades card away from her as that was her "carry" for the day, and I could tell you about the day Aaron saw the little old shoe piece from the Monopoly board game and tucked it in his pocket for the day without realizing that it was Emma's "carry" for the day and she had set it down for a mere second to go to the potty. I could tell you about that horrible frightful day... but I don't think I have the strength to go back and recount it yet. I still have nightmares.

Mary is a professional carrier. She will carry no less than 10 items every single day and she will have a melt down if she cannot get them all stuffed into her arms and balance them successfully as she manoeuvres through the house following me on my mundane tasks. An example of her treasures is FOUR... not one, but FOUR of her "nigh-nighs" which are little bits of blanket with an animal's head attached to it, one or two cups filled with soy milk or water (she likes variety in her drink) a book-and not your run of the mill little baby book that is small and square, no... she likes the BIG book that is in the shape of a duck, a puzzle piece (it is the horse piece-don't try and swap it out with the cow piece because she will know and she will cut you.) a naked Barbie (who is recently bald because of her disastrous hair appointment with a 6 year old) and the dog's collar-in case she needs to put it on the dog and drop all of the items in her arms and drag the dog around, in which case she becomes a dragger like her big sister.

I don't understand this.

It's not like I have to carry my cell phone around with me all day or I will freak out and start crying and throw myself on the ground and start kicking my legs and pounding my fists if I discover that I do not have it on me.

I only did that once I swear.

But then I found it in my back pocket and I was able to calm down.

No where near as neurotic as my children. The little maniacs.

10 comments:

Rob said...

As far as I can tell my brood mainly carries germs

Uptown Girl said...

I love this post.

Maybe Mary would get rid of all of those nick-nacks if you got her some lip gloss. Lip gloss is all a girl needs... just saying.

powdergirl said...

Are you missing a kid? Because I'm pretty sure my god son, Dev, is one of yours.

He drags, carries and tucks, I believe he may also be a 'squirreler'. He's about 3 feet tall, skinny, long blond hair, cute as hell and he lisps. Also has a bit of a potty-mouth.

Do you need him back? We're very fond of him and would like to keep him a while longer.

Every conversation I have with him starts with "jutht a thec' auntie, I jutht gotta thow you thomething, I got it right here,"
And then he starts to empty his hands, pockets, waistband, socks, and sometimes his ears or nose.

That kid can pack a lotta crap around!

wankette said...

Can I hire one of your children to tote around my teacher's stuff? I have no office.

Eh, kidding. I'm actually looking to hire a barely legal half-naked y-chromo, who can also pull a perfect espresso shot AND rub my neck between classes. Junie, if I send you headshots, will you do the preliminary screening?

p.s. Nephew is not a tote-r of any kind, at least not yet. I'll ask him why, but I'm pretty sure he'll say it's because Jedi don't play that.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

My 3 yr old is a carrier. She likes to carry several stuffed animals that she refers to as her "friends". Sometimes she'll strap on her little backpack before we leave the house, I just never know...

FLYNAVY said...

Miss Cleaver,
Kids & their little quirks r so cool. Haven't noticed any of those fun tendencies with my kiddos. Do have an 8 yr old little boy my mother "stole" while on a UN Mission to Congo [4 yrs ago] & was just gonna only stay for a coupla wks with us. Little Buzz was a horder of food.... frozen, fresh, cooked, uncooked & took about a week to realize what was causing the smell & several additional weeks to xplain that we would always have plenty of food to eat in the house. He also didn't understand the basics of indoor plumbing & prefered to fertilize the lawn to the thrill of our uptight snobby yuppy neighbors. Carrying doesn't seem really too bad to me......pretty sure that's why cargo pants were invented for us guys. Also, think my wife has figured out a way to pack an entire 20"-0" Connex box into her little black purse....some of us never outgrow our childhood.
Finally noticed ole Barbie from the other day is pregnant on that Barbie couch...just for the record it wasn't me, no matter what she says.
Bjorn

Maurisa said...

Our oldest boy used to wear a backpack 24/7 to carry his stuff. The thing weighed about 50 pounds, as most of his stuff was made of die cast metal. If anyone touched the backpack, he would F.R.E.A.K! You should have heard my mother going on and on about how bad it was for his back to carry that thing. Funny, she never tried to take it away from him.

Regina said...

My youngest (now 15 months) is also a carrier, but her obsession is clothes. My mom just bought her a new shirt, and she carried it around all day, and I tried to take it away so she could eat and she went apesh*t on me. Daily she is finding a piece of clothing to carry, and I can't even take her in the babies' clothing aisle, she is like most kids when you take them in the toy section, always grabbing for the clothes. My husband is very scared. Our other 2 are boys, so this is new territory for us. They had their carrying stage too, but it didn't seem to be as extreme as hers. Just their blankets. The joy of kids...a new adventure everyday, huh?

wankette said...

June:
It is most important that you click on this youtube link...a little early-90s country music vid with Dolly & co. singing "Romeo" to Billy Ray Cyrus.
I know, I know, but...swoon! As one of the girls says, "I wish I had a swing like that in my backyard!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFqmA3hMoPc&feature=related

Jess said...

My daughter isn't even a year old yet and she loves to walk around (yes, she's walking already, heaven help us all) carrying some really random stuff. Sippy cup! A block in each hand! Formerly folded socks from the laundry basket!

And my personal favorite... a box of toothpaste in each hand while laughing maniacally and tottering around in circles.

We can't really explain it either.

It must be some sort of instinct to protect what is special by always carrying it around all day.