Tuesdays Are For Mondays... And Where Is Skeletor?

Last night I went to see the movie G.I. Joe with my 11 year old son. I tried to talk him into going to see Julia Julia but he was having none of that!

When I was a kid my next door neighbor had all of the G.I.Joe dolls. I had only one-Duke. He was the arch nemesis of my Ken doll and the bad boy in Barbie's Dream Mansion neighborhood. He drove around in a pink convertible and always stole Barbie away from Ken. He couldn't help it-he was a rebel, a loner with a passion for action and a need for speed. Barbie couldn't help but fall for him. She was defenseless to his camouflage pants and his buzz cut and Ken never had a chance with his sweater vests and side-parted plastic hair.

Poor Ken.

Thankfully I had about 50 Barbies and Ken found another mate-he saddled up next to the brunette Barbie, my least favorite of the bunch. I never combed her hair and made her wear the ugly "handmade craft fair clothes" from the bottom of the Barbie closet. Ken must have taken pity on her and they moved into the cardboard shoebox house next to the Dream Mansion and lived on food stamps and government cheese... but I think they were happy, not as happy as Barbie and Duke, but happy nonetheless.

Thank God my Therapist does not know about my blog.

Anyway...

So I went to see G.I. Joe last night and let me just say that I never knew the Joes had such an important mission in the world... but I was highly confused.

First of all... why don't normal people know about these special ops groups with alien like weapons and aircraft that can deflect bullets like rain on a tin roof? I mean, if the general public knew about these things and America just used these resources for the "normal" military... well we would have world domination wouldn't we?

Next... why are there so many girls in this movie? Were there girls in G.I. Joe when we were kids and if that is the case, why wasn't there a G.I. Jane before Demi Moore tried to be a Navy Seal? And what is up with their outfits? Who could fight wearing skin tight silicone and plastic domes for your boobs? I am not even going to mention their hair-the long, thick, flowing hair that looked orgasmic during the fight scenes. I wonder if they use that new hair product by Chaz Dean. If that is the case, I am soooo buying it!

Third... where was Skeletor? My son looked at me and rolled his eyes and said that Skeletor was not part of G.I.Joe, but I must argue this fact because Skeletor was friends with Cobra when I was a kid and they wreaked havoc on my neighborhood... just ask my mother. I mean, if you are going to remake a cartoon from my childhood you need to get it right! Sheesh...

But all in all it was a good movie (the parts that I paid attention to when I was not looking up Wen Hair care products on my cell phone) and they did a good job explaining things-not the way I thought the story came to be when I was a kid, but pretty good.

If they asked me what would have made this movie better, I would have said "A skinny blonde and a pink convertible."


But I will be the first to admit that I like the direction they took the movie in...

Yep.