Let's hear it for WINTER!!!!! Hip Hip GO AWAY!!!!!!
Well ladies and gents, it is June Cleaver to the rescue! I am going to give you some of my winter beauty secrets-secrets so secret that you will need a security clearance to read the rest of this post.... so if you would simply raise your right hand and repeat after me:
"I know who I am, I can vouch for who I am and I am willing to go to jail if someone says I am not who I say I am... so help me Betty Crocker."
Okay, now that we have that out of the way...
Let's talk hands shall we? Are yours as freakin' dry and chapped as mine? Ugh! It is horrible... and embarrassing! I don't have lovely nails that I have to go to the salon to get filled every two weeks of my life because I couldn't stand that kind of commitment and felt like I was Martha Stewart with a ankle bracelet so that my parole officer knew where I was and had to check in with him every night at 9pm... but I do have nice nails of my own and I like my hands to look soft and feminine (something I am sure all of the male readers strive for as well). In the winter, I soothe my hands with lotion orgasm that I keep in my purse. It is called "Naked Body Butter" by Bliss and you can get it where Sephora is sold (read: JC Penney). It is a little pricey-but really... how much is too much when we are talking beauty? Besides, a little goes a long way with this stuff and so it is worth every bit of the $35 price tag. Honest!
How is your skin? No, I mean REALLY... how is your skin? Flaky? Itchy? GROSS? Mine too! I hate it!!! I am a lotion whore-I can't help it. Every time I am in the bathroom I am slathering myself with lotion and in the summer time this works GREAT because I usually have shorts on so my legs get that extra dose of moisture just as often as my arms, elbows, earlobes, and bellybutton does... but in the winter my legs are covered up by pants so they are only getting moisture (and seeing sunlight!) in the morning hours and in the evening hours, so their moisture allowance not only goes way down in the winter... but the winter dry crappy air tortures my skin as well. Dammit! How do I combat this obvious attack by foreign countries on my American skin? I exfoliate!!!! Go buy those little $2 bath gloves-the ones that feel rough and scratchy-and put them in your shower. Lather them up with soap every time you bathe and scrub the junk right off of you! Use them on your face, your legs, your arms, belly and back. I even use them on my feet (but I have a different pair for my feet because feet give me the heebie-jeebies and I don't want my feet gloves touching my face-obvi!). When I get out of the shower I coat myself with Eucerin lotion. You can get this at Target... or any grocery store. It is a little bit more than your typical Vaseline lotion-but I have never had a lotion that I louvre more than Eucerin (so take THAT Hollywood with your expensive-must have-lotions that only movie stars can afford!). It works, AND... I can even put it on my face without breaking out. SCORE!
Moving on...
Hair. Ugh. Blech. WHY!!!!! Sigh...
I use Nexus Shampoo and Conditioner-I wash my hair twice a day-I am horrible and mean to my hair and I have no excuse, I can't help it. But... there is one thing that I cannot live without and I think, with all of the torture that I submit my hair to, it is happy that I give it this one thing to help it along in my daily abuse of it. Paul Mitchell's Super Skinny Serum. Yes, I will admit that I originally bought it because it said "super skinny" and I thought that maybe I was going to get skinny... nay, SUPER SKINNY if I used it. I did not know if Paul Mitchell discovered some amazing diet treatment that would make you skinny if you had fabulous hair-but I was willing to try. So, in my pursuit of being skinny I discovered that my hair LOVES this stuff-and it helps keep away the limp, sad looking hair that winter (and personal abuse) can do to your lovely locks. By the by... you can snag this stuff up at your salon-they prolly sell Paul Mitchell because he is like, the hair products god or something.
This last thing is something NEW that I have yet to try but my girlfriend swears by it! You know how in the winter you lose your summer tan-that perfect color that your skin gets from the kiss of the sun? Well... the other day I saw my friend and she looked like she had just gotten off the plane from a well-deserved relaxing vaca in the fantasy world of "sunny" and "warm!"
I was all "Are you tanning?"
She was all "No"
I was all "What's up with the sun-kiss look then biatch!"
She was all "I have my ways."
I was all "You gonna share your ways or do I have to beat it out of you and steal your Coach purse?"
She was all "NOT MY COACH PURSE!"
I was all "Oh yes... the Coach purse."
She was all "Fine-I will hand over my lovely beauty secret, but you have to buy me dinner."
I was all "Fine, my wallet is in your Coach purse."
So she told me she has been using tanning towelettes from Loreal. I KNOW! Who knew tans could come in a towel?
This also gave me an idea for a giveaway! All you have to do is leave a comment telling me your favorite-must have-can't live without-winter beauty secret. I don't care if it is a secret passed down from your great-great-grandpa who was a cross dresser and could sing Judy Garland like nobodys business, or if it is one that you just discovered yesterday! Just let me know-let the world know! We need all the help we can get during the winter months to keep looking fabulous.
On Monday I will reveal the winner that I will get from my handy-dandy-random-picker-outer-thingy.
What is the prize? Those towelettes from Loreal of course! So leave a comment and maybe you can be getting your tan on next week!
kthanxbye!
43 comments:
Gehwol Foot Balm for dry, cracked, rough skin. This stuff is amazing! It has a very strong scent though. It contains lanolin, avocado oil, aloe vera, and herbs that protect you against athlete's foot and foot odour (not that these are EVER a problem here, just sayin').
My must have hand lotion that I discovered a couple months ago is Shea Cashmere Hand Cream by Bath & Body. Actually, I think it's by True Blue Spa but it's sold at Bath & body. Since the jerks quit making my other fave, I had to resort and find something new and I'm a lotion freak! So it had to be the right mix of lotion-ess that wasn't greasy, sticky or stinky! Viola.....bring on the Shea Cashmere! It's a little pricey too but my winter alligator skin deserves it!
Oh and I don't have a google account or any of that fancy blog address stuff but you can contact me at loriservello@hotmail.com
Happy Friday.....I smell the weekend just around the corner!!!
Hands down, my winter beauty secret is found in a 24 oz "magic bottle" known as Smart Water. Allegedly, it has some kind of vitamin/mineral/pure gold component to it, or it's triple reverse osmosified or something ... but the real win is that it is perfectly and ergonimically designed to entice you to suck on it.
I am not kidding - 15 minutes with this water bottle and you will have consumed your entire daily water committment and not have even realized it. It's basically a miracle, particularly here in Denver where the dry, high altitude winters turn your legs into some kind of conconut-flaked pastries.
I'm just saying... if you can drink 60 or 90 ounces of water in a day without even raising an eyebrow, your skin looks a million times better.
Also, I just learned that rubbing strawberries (fresh ones) across your teeth has a natural whitenine effect. And no, this post was not intended to be suggestive.
ps my wedding is in 35 days and I'm whiter than Rush Limbaugh. I could really use those tanning towels...
:)
I have a few must-have winter treatments.
The first I discovered when I was waiting tables in college and my hands would get dry and blistery from constantly washing them and using hand sanitizer it is from True Blue Spa @ Bath and Body Works called Look ma, new hands. It is amazing and coats your hands slightly to protect them from getting chapped. Not great for all day every day unless your hands are really dry but I like to use it in the morning and before going outside even now that I'm not constanlty washing my hands.
The second I use year round, it is a tea tree oil cooling foot spray from The Body Shop. In the summer I use it in the morning and at night because it smells good and makes my feet feel fresh and cool but in the winter I use it at night becaue the tea tree oil is a great moiturizer so I'll spray it on my feet before I put on socks!
The third and most important trick is fuzzy soft socks! In the summer I run around barefoot but in the winter I always have fuzzy socks on and will put lotion on my feet before putting them on. They keep my feet warm and hold in the lotion so that I don't track it all over the house.
Ok as an extended breastfeeder 3 times over and still going I have multiple tubes of Lanolish around the house.
Oh and let me tell you, they are for more than those nips....
Cracked heels...check.
Dry lips...check.
Cracked cuticles...check.
And best yet you can put it on your kids and not worry about it hurting them.
Oh and being a freckled pastey mess, I'd love to try those towels!
Ok.. I must say Jenny is getting married.. She NEEDS to have a glow....
whiter teeth can also be obtained from lemon..any citrus... pineapple is good to if you mush it in a mortar/ped. or just with a fork in a bowl..it has malic acid in it..so it works like a chemical peel...NOT good if you have super sensitive skin... and to get that new "5 minutes Facelift" or whatever.. open your fridge instead..crack an egg..and rub the egg whites on your face..gross..sticks..do it. Firms, tones and lightly evens out skin tone instantly!
For dry skin.. INGEST pure coconut oil..not in the capsule..not in a powder..the real deal in a tub (found at GNC) Eventually, working like an Omega 3 fatty acid.. it will start seeping through your pores..Skin is more supple, Hair is shiny, silky... I am a blonde with thin hair..so for me..my down fall is I look like a greaseball after awhile and need to stop...but better than anything..Coconut oil..CURBS YOUR APPETITE!!! You just don't want to eat that much at all... go figure. Not the best smelling, best tasting...but all under $10.00 and some you may already have!
Cheers!
Winter takes a toll on my skin. Dry and itchy no matter what I use. Those towelettes look interesting.
AQUAPHOR Healing Ointment "for dry craked or irratated skin"...
But I use it on my lips. keeps them kissable and never chapped all winter long. "But I like wearing lipstick all day", you say? Just use the Aquaphor at night before bed and you will have moist luscious lips all day long.
you're welcome.
Miss Cleaver,
Sorta lost me @ orgasm & naked body butter....was thinking this post was headed somewhere else. Well a guy can dream.
Haven't suffered from dry skin syndrome, so think our family secret is eat 1/2 a pound of bacon a day. Pretty sure the grease keeps my joints unsqueaked & skin good to go. Was a little tuff to do when I was here visiting with the Americans but the Danes I hang with now seem to think having bacon & other pork products @ every meal here in the mountains is as funny as a cartoon of Mohammed on the front page of the Post.
If I win the tanning goop, please wrap it in brown paper & label it "porn" & it'll fly thru customs here ok & the guys won't be calling me girly man.
Buzzy
heh, at first glance I thought they were condoms. :) Mine would be Chapstick, always have one by my bedside and in my purse during the winter to keep the limps looking healthy and delish.
After reading all your comments I can clearly see that I need more than the Aldi brand stuff I've been using. I'm in the YMCA pool 3times a week and I'm already starting to flake from the change in the weather.
Thanks gals for the tips.
Now let's get out there and shop for a new solution...
Aunt Barbara
Funny!!!
I live in MINNESOTA! HELP! No sun. So cold. Very dry and chapped.
HELP!!!
My lifesaver is the brand Paula's Choice (she writes the book "Don't Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me"). She is a chemist who makes her own skin care and I have this little tub of moisturizer that I can use right before bed, on my lips, cuticles, knees, and elbows. It's so great, and just a little bit goes a long way. She has great skin care, and tells it like it is.
Now that Mommiebear mentions it that tanning stuff is the same xact color as the trojan xtasy condoms....guess that makes 2 of us whose minds r somewhere else tonight.....not that I'm a condom xpert.
Buzzy
Does Gerard Butler come with those Towelettes for the "hard to reach" spots?
..cuz if he doesn't, I might have to take my name out of the contest.
:) :) :) :)
I know all about that dry skin. It may be time to give my husband the needed winter list. You know, because "I'm worth it".
June,
If Buzzy doesn't win you may have to consider giving one for second place. Great comment Buzzy. (the first one)
Aunt Barbara
I like to pour baby oil in the bath water before I get it. It makes my skin so soft! Also, Palmer's cocoa butter lotion is a must after a shower.
I love Pantene's Winter Rescue for a cheaper winter fix for my hair; Avon's wintersoft hand soap is pretty amazing for winter hands (I'm talking Minnesota Winters here!) and if all else fails hot cocoa does everyone some good; nothing like chocolate to make the blahs seem better!
My winter beauty secret is I don't shave my legs unless I am going to be wearing a skirt-or I have an, ahem, appt. w/ my husband! Ha!
I'm not sure that's helpful at all in the beauty dept., but it is my secret.
I have the heebies about my feet too...like I hate for them to be touched unless for a massage with lotion...dry hand to foot or foot to foot contact by absent minded husband whilst watching tv or settling off to sleep...OMG. Just freak me out already why doncha!
...sigh...yes...bizarre..can't help it. It's like nails on a chalkboard. The only thing yuckier is that whole after the beach, dried on sand and salt thing that happens in the summer...ack!
so here's what I do, as a fellow lotion whore...although far cheaper than you I see. You don't even have to buy me dinner. I always have hung out with people who have higher standards than me. I digress...again.
Whatever lotion I put on my feet. ie whatever is closest to the bed or wherever I have decided to pass out. (Whole other comment. I only have four kids so I'm hoping you get it)anyway I put the stuff on and then cover with my socks. If they are really bad I use vaseline, but they have to be BAD. Like get up and go find the vaseline, bad.
Good post, C. I gotta ask though. I would like to hear your whole mind conversation when you plunk down the 35 bucks for cream.
I put vasoline and corona cream in a lather and put it on my feet with thick socks over night....helps with my feet cracking..hey it what they use on horse hooves and it is the best diaper rash cream ever...
My must have, can't live without beauty secret is to crawl under my down comforter, go back to sleep, and BAM it's spring. Yep, that hibernation thing works every year.
Sometimes I lotion up and sleep with socks on my hands. It's effective AND pretty freaking saucy. Win win.
Carmex. Wards off chapped lips in the tundra in MN. It used to be available only in a little tiny jar, then they brought out tubes but now have sticks too.
I'm German & Belgian. In other words, I look pasty as the living dead during the winter. Throwing in my hat to win me some towelettes!
I give up. 42 ain't fabulous. Can't seem to get my groove. Stella???? My winter trick? Grease. Going to surrender to the Big Mac. My hair will look glossy and my skin will glow. Unless I finally break down and try yoga. I really want to be as fab as June. But seriously, it's a toss up between the happy meal and yoga. Will have to get back to you on that.
About a month on Maui with a few visits to the Grand Wailea spa have proven very helpful in the past....
Not this year though, this year I'm spending the winter at the dentist office.
Waaahh.
And yeah, water, drink gallons and gallons of water. Won't grease your hair or skin. I have thin fine hair too, so most products end up weighing me down and making look like an oil-slick, but an oil slick with dry shins.
I know, ain't that a pretty picture?
You're welcome : D
Miss Cleaver,
Like Milissa says, grease/fat in ur diet is real important. The Danish Medical Association just published a study that our reaction times r improved & general health was better if we consumed more fat in our diet than the normal levels they used to recommend. They've been around since the late 1700's & r big in research for the military. Course they tell us after eating a kilo of bacon to get our xercise so our colesterol won't go off the scale. So I'll stick with my original answer, eat more bacon, the greasier the better. Some days I rub raw bacon grease on my 20 mm nose cannon ordinance bullets] ...but that's for a whole nother reason, but doing that pre-flight check does make me feel alot better too.
Buzzy
Ooh, for super-strength hand lotion, I use 'No-Crack Super Hand Cream' from Restoration Hardware. I know, I know, not the typical beauty store, but man, along with some beautiful lighting, they sell some great lotion! ;)
Vaseline...for my chapped lips and raw nose after a cold. I put it on the kid's dry spots too. It's cheap and effective!
Find a Tractor Supply or farm implement store and pick up some Bag Balm. Slather your hands with it and put cotton socks on your hands before bed. Do the same with your feet.
Bag Balm works wonders, even for cuts and bruises.
And I've started using Johnson's baby soap (liquid) instead of shaving cream to shave my legs. Makes a big difference, and it smells nice.
Vitamin D supplements!!!!!
Bath and Body Works body cream...not the lotion, but the cream. Slather it on and not only do you stay moisturized, you smell delicious!
I have a secret... I only need it once weekly, although I've been known to sneak extra treatments.
It brings a warm glow to my cheeks...
It increases my heartrate, warming up my shivery limbs...
It pumps up my energy level, making me more active throughout the day...
And it can be done sitting in a nice chair in the comfort of my own home...
What is my secret, you ask?
Why the Monday swoon, of course!
Oh, and Suave Cocoa Butter lotion, to keep my skin from flaking off to the bone. :-)
Burt's Bees Farmer's Friend. Heals anything but a broken heart.
Gotcher message. Yay! *phew!* ;)
L'Oreal makes a bronze self-tanning condom with "real bacon grease"? Awesome! Those French people are on top of everything!
Except..
It took an American to put pantyhose in an egg.
I think I am STILL repressing some memories of having to go to the store to get some "eggs" for my mom. Only topped by having to purchase maxi-pads.
I was a good boy....
Hi June!
My favorite-must have-can't live without-winter beauty secret is a ticket to Florida and an endless supply of fresh-made Mojitos.
cheers!
Hi June!
My favorite-must have-can't live without-winter beauty secret is a ticket to Florida and an endless supply of freshly-made Mojitos.
Definitely something I can't live without in the winter is lotion! I am obssessed with lotion and finding the ultimate lotion....I have 2 fave's, 1 is the Dove Cream Oil, rich and creamy, yet not oily at all! Loooove it. The 2nd is Burts Bee's Wax and honey lotion. this lotion is thick and creamy and traps moisture in and smells....well it smells dreamy...at least to me...They aren't a secret per say but I am sooo happy to have found them. XO Missy
Ok.... passed on many generations from great grandmother, grandmother, me, and now my pre-teen Oil of Olay. Swear by it. People swear my 82 yr old grandmother it 20 yrs younger and my mother, they still card me (which makes me smile), my son's field trip parents thought I was a High School student and too young to be mentoring.
Another tip is pure rosehip oil, especially if you experience extremely dry, itchy skin. Limit shower time and the amount of heat, rub oil in.. overnight results! Winter skin will disappear if you practice these rules at least once a week (plus it is great for new moms or moms to be, or post surgery for scars, and stretch marks).
June,
The last time you had a giveaway was in June. Then you took the whole dang summer off to work on your tan. I think that you posted this giveaway as a polite way to say that you are busy carving pumpkins and Christmas shopping. So, while the rest of us are waiting (patiently, I might add), you are getting your shit together and we will look like negligent moms when you show up with beautifully handmade gifts for your teachers. SO, I am raising the flag, please, share with us. What the hell are you making for the Cleaver kid's teachers?! Cause I know you are that crafty, crazy kind of girl and you can't have anything more exciting going on in your life than entertaining us!
Not about the tanning towlettes, but rather Monday swoon. You should feature Bl Pier Giorgio for your Monday swoon sometime- good looking even in death, fun loving and truly holy, even available for personal friendship in eternity- what's not to love?
Post a Comment