Mornings... Grumble Grumble...

I hate mornings. I really do.

Wait, let me change that... I hate waking up in the morning.

Yeah-that is it.

I don't mind mornings, actually I kind of like them-going around and making beds and picking up odds and ends while the sun is shining through the newly opened blinds.

It gives me a sense of hope-of newness-of me being a maid to my children who are little lazy butts who can't pick up a single pair of underpants from the bathroom floor if I told them I would take them to Disney World!!!

A friend told me that the reason I don't like waking up in the morning is because I go to bed so late at night.

This is true. I am a night owl, but only because that is the only time of the day when I do not have someone looking to me to make their life easier. It is the only time that I can actually watch something that I want to watch on the television that does not have puppets, cartoon characters or grown men singing children songs and acting like lunatics.

I love my late nights.

But last night I went to bed early. I was exhausted and it was just the perfect combination of chilly in my house and warm under my covers that made me drift off to slumber about 3 hours earlier than I usually do.

And I woke up feeling FAB U LOUS! I was amazed! What is the crazy thing called "sleep" that I have been missing?

So I went about my chore of waking the savage beasts that live with me. The 14 year old gets up earlier than the rest of us because she is in high school now and has to do her hair so she is only embarrassed by the fact that her mother picks her up from school in a ponytail, yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt every day of her mother-loving-please-help-me-survive-her-social-status life, and the baby is usually up at the crack of dawn singing songs like "A, B, G, F, E" and "mommymommymommymommymommy" which comes in such a sing-song rhythm that you can't help but be lulled back to sleep to it. Pfft.

But the middle two... they are bears in the morning, and we aren't talking fun-loving circus bears that ride unicycles and wear cute little Shriner hats... no, we are talking "rip all your limbs off and dance on your rotting carcass" bears.

I usually get really irritated by this morning ritual of corralling the feral children every morning, but today-with my newly refreshed full night of sleep mind, I was able to fend off yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs until the neighbors called CPS on me... AGAIN!

My pleasant mood helped the 6 year old be happy and cheery before she walked out the door. She didn't even argue with me about clothes this morning! I need to call Guinness Book of World Records.

But the boy in the house, he did not play into my evil plan of actually being NICE to my kids in the morning and he was still his usual "angry-boy" self.

I am proud of him for sticking to his convictions.

At least he is consistent.

When he makes up his mind-he does not change it.

He has a strong personality.

He is just training for the day he is a prison warden.



That One Mom said...

I know exactly what you mean! My ungratefuls make morning hell!

momto5minnies said...

I keep telling myself that I will wake up an hour before the children.

That's too hard.
But it would be nice for my girls to remember a cheerful morning mom someday.

Uptown Girl said...

I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning. I don't know how you moms do it, I really don't.

You should get to wear some sort of cape to signify your super-hero-dom.

june cleaver said...

Oh belive me Maria-I do have a superhero cape. Oh yes I do...

Uptown Girl said...

is it pink?

powdergirl said...

I love the late nights too, when everyones gone to bed and I cn pretend the only 2 people in the world are me and my laptop.

I've got the mornings covered though, a little system I call operation "piss your mother off in the morning and reap the benefits all day."

So they may not talk much in the morning, but they also don't gripe as it is dangerous to do so.

I've been trying to get CPS to intervene for years....

june cleaver said...

Maria, it is pink, it is real.. and it is fabulous.

The Wannabe Redhead said...

I'm with Maria... I don't know how Moms do it! I can hardly take care of myself!

My BFF, who is always up at the butt-crack of dawn because she has a Little One, has taken to calling me every morning on her way to work.

And she sings.

And it's early.

WTF? :)

Layna said...

i'm jealous of the pink cape! pls don't tell me it sparkles too. would "angry boy" consider waking #3 up on your behalf? misery loves company? then you'll sound like heaven when you go back to enjoying your late nights and cursing those morning afters. late nights and DVRs were made for mothers!

Anonymous said...

Haha, this is hilarious! :) Great post!

rita said...

Mornings. I hate having to get up in them. I was built to be a night owl from the moment I was born. Both of my kids are too. But my oldest granddaughter? The one who is the light of my life? (DO NOT accuse me of favoritism. Because you'd be right and I'd just be pissed.)

SHE won't get up on school mornings. SHE has to be blasted out of bed by her I-hate-mornings mommy. (At least her little brother, who is my other favorite, is a late(r) sleeper and is more interested in eating than annoying anyone.) On those non-school-days when I'm visiting? SHE's up at the asscrack of dawn talking to me, even if we stayed up till 2 the night before. And we usually do. And I still love her because I think that eventually she'll be won over (or worn down) by my conviction that sleep is good.

Unfortunately for me, schools do not run on the teenagers-need-more-sleep theory and mine starts at 7 freaking a.m. and I have a 45-minute drive to get to work. Luckily I can sleepdrive.

Anonymous said...

Oh Uptown Girl... WoW Thank you!!