La La La... WHAT? La La La...

You know those moments right after you have a baby and you finally get the little one calmed down and napping happily before you, and you are able to sit... stare off into space... maybe daydream about fitting into your fat jeans again?

Those moments where your mind just lets your body detach itself and when you "come to" you wonder how long you had been sitting there with your eyes transfixed on the curtains and your mouth slightly open?

That little time of relaxation that God grants newly exhausted mothers so that they can reboot a little-take a deep breath and go on with their day regardless of the spit up stains on their t-shirt and the fact that they are wearing their husbands sweatpants because their yoga pants split at the crotch just that morning?

That fraction of a second when you can wonder what your life would have been like if Timmy Murphy had asked you to prom instead of Newman Pawlowski and where you would be if you had the guts to go to Julliard because you always thought you were a fabulous dancer?

And then it happens...

The baby moves, sneezes, coughs, giggles, cries or even sits up and says "Hey! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" and you jump about 10 feet out of your overly saggy skin and are shot back to reality!

Your heart beats out of your chest and you actually choke on your own saliva because your mouth was dry from being propped open during your 2 minute sabbatical!

You may even say something like "Holy Shit!" or "Holy Crap!" because at moments like these, when you are happy and content and then the littlest thing happens to scare the pee right out of your bladder, you have to pray and curse all at the same time!

And because once we have a baby, we are always a mom... until the day we die. We will always have our children in our thoughts-(even if our thoughts are of Matthew McConaughey)-the moment our children move, breathe, make a peep or just sigh a happy sigh we are awake-aware-on duty and ready to lend a helping hand...

Even if that helping hand is just simply taking a look and accessing that all if fine and we can go back to our yummy bamboo and staring off into space.


powdergirl said...

Aw June,
Thats such a sweet summary of what those moments feel like, and how it just goes from there.

I'm on horse tranquilizers for an abcess in my jaw(I know, gross) and I wasn't going to do any commenting this AM because, well, that would be like drunk commenting, and we all know how that goes : )

But I had to say something because this just made me smile, even though it hurts like hell to smile, it feels better too.

Thanks Sunshine.

Aunt Barbara said...

OMG! June, you hit the nail right on the head. That's just how it is. Only now it happens when the office phone rings.
You make the most amazing observations.
Great blog.
Aunt Barbara

Urban Mom said...

That Mama Panda really does seem to almost jump out her skin!

When Urban Kid 2 was a baby, she used to sneeze and break wind at the same instant nearly every single time. So even though it made me jump out of my stupor, it made me giggle at her efficiency.

SeriouslyWhyCantI said...

I check out quite often. Actually I am having the time of my life...even if it is only in my head.

Love reading your blogs,

Tara B

Evil Twin's Wife said...

So true! I can be sawing logs in my sleep and then be bolt upright and out of bed in a split second if I hear *anything* in the house!

Michele said...

I absolutley LOVE this post!!!

You are such an amazing writer. So creative, and hysterical!

Did I mention that I love this post!!
So true, about motherhood. I have felt that very thing many times. We are always "on"...

Panda sneeze ~ hysterical!!! (and yet, it comletely sums up the post.) Brilliant!

rita said...

You really are an amazing writer. Even though my "kids" are 37 and 34, I still jump and turn when I'm in a store and someone calls "Mom".

You never get over it.

And the staring into space? Not limited to new moms. Ask my coworkers.

Gabriela Frei said...

It's 100% true. Motherhood is entirely self-sacrificing, although let me tell you, I relish those once-in-a-while moments of alone-ness in the midst of it all. It's those moments of quiet and recollection that give us the peace and strength to go back to the wonderful chaos that is life.