No one wants to know the typical searches anymore, like "June Cleaver naked" or "Butt Cysts." No, during crunch time, which is the week leading up to Valentine's Day, people (women) want to know other things... happier things... things that will make them forget that their husband does not "believe" in Valentine's Day and refuses to bend down to "the man" by purchasing a card and flowers. They have to console themselves because there is no dinner plans in their future and the thought of going to see a romantic comedy at the movie theater is about as likely as winning the lottery when you don't buy a ticket.
So let this be a warning to you men out there who complain and gripe about having to show your wife how important she is to you... or showing the world how much you love her (which is all she wants really-to be able to receive the flowers at the front door so that all of the neighbors witness it and say "WOW! Her husband must really really love her. She is so lucky.")
If you don't do anything she will be spending the night looking at this:
Because I have had close to 1000 hits a day for the last week on this photog alone, so it is either lonely wives, or Gerard Butler himself trying to get my attention... and since my husband is deployed and falls in that "Valen-What?" category, I am happy to think the old Gerry is looking at me across the Internet saying, in his Irish accent, "Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?" So don't rain on my parade and tell me that Gerard Butler has no idea who I am, because just like Matthew McConaughey, I am happy in my insanity pretending that they do.
This is the next photog that has sent many a sad lady to the Six-Pack this week:
I know fellas, you HATE Edward Cullen and you HATE Robert Pattinson even more, but I hate to tell you that he has three more movies to put out so he is going to be around for a while... so instead of stomping your foot and hiding you wife's Twilight book, why don't you dress up like a vampire and try and be like him this Valentine's Day? You'll have to be a mysterious loner with a tortured soul... oh, and save her from danger and want her so badly that you may just kill her. Er, maybe not. I can tell right now you are all reading that wrong and you do not understand anything I just said.
Interestingly enough, this is the third photog that has sent people my way this week. I don't believe it is from the ladies either... actually I think it is from the fellas over at Threedonia, but I am not pointing fingers (trzupr).
Is that Spencer in the background? Does Cousin Stevella know Heidi and Spencer? Oh, I need to have a serious chat with her about who she is hanging out with. My mother always said that you are judged by the company you keep. Ugh.
So just a friendly reminder that Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and unless you want your wife to leave you for a vampire, I suggest you take my advice and man up.
That's right... MAN UP!
Stop moaning and complaining that you have to show your love to this woman who takes care of your kids, cleans your shorts, scrubs your toilet, cooks your food, does your taxes, finds a contractor to put in the granite counters, prices out carpet for your home at no less than three carpet stores, finds a painter to paint your house... wait, what was I talking about?
Oh yeah... Love your wife! She deserves it!
If not, I'm sure Gerry will be walking by.