They just don't make things the way they used to.
Today I decided to do my darling husband a favor and mow the lawn. I enjoy mowing the lawn as it gets me out of the house and I cannot hear the children screaming for a snack over the loud engine. Mowing the lawn offers me a good 45 minutes of peace. It rates right up there with getting my teeth cleaned. *Big Sigh* Amazing how things that I used to avoid like the plague are now my favorite activities.
My husband bought our mower a few years ago. We paid well over 500 bucks for this thing. Every year he gets a tune up on it. This I never understand. Personally, if something cost so much it should not only work, it should also poop out diamonds. Our mower does neither.
For a good 30 minutes I huffed and puffed over the mower while I tried to start it. I cursed, I kicked it, I called it "stupid" and probably had the neighbors poised at their windows watching in delight. Our amazing, expensive, "just turn the key" mower will not start! Now I get to drive the mower over to the lawn mower repair guy and pay $100 to get it to start. I wish we lived in Arizona where everyone has rocks that accentuate the color of their house instead of this lousy grass that keeps growing.
When I was a kid, my father never had our mower tuned up. He never had the blades sharpened. He never changed the oil or replaced the spark plugs. Heck, I remember the day my Dad was driving down the street and saw a lawn mower in someones trash so he stopped, tossed it in the trunk, and brought it home. It fired right up and we used that mower for the next 10 years. Sure, it was a fire hazard. Sure, it was eating away the ozone above Chicago. Sure, it may take 20-30 pulls of the chord to get it choking and started. Sure, it may have even only had three wheels at one time and I had to balance it just right to get an even cut... but it worked!
We never fertilized. We never aerated. We never thatched. My parent's idea of yard work was to send us kids out with a bucket and tell us to pick all of the dandelions that covered the front lawn.
I bet my father has spent only $27.83 on lawn maintenance his entire life... and that includes the lawn mower that he found in the trash. My husband has spent thousands on lawn maintenance in the past few years alone... and now he has to buy a new lawn mower because I clobbered our $500 one with a hammer just a few moments ago.
Maybe I should see if the gas powered weed whacker will start. The one where you have to push a button, pull a trigger, hold down a lever and squeeze the handle all at the same precise time in order to get it to start. That is my favorite lawn tool. I always feel better after I have yelled and screamed and clobbered a tree with the end of that tool.
Or what about the edger. That is a great tool... especially when I accidentally hit the cement and it sends vibrating pains through my arms. Good times, good times.
My absolute favorite thing about lawn work is that extension chord that you have to drag around the yard. Once I accidentally sliced the extension chord with the weed whacker and did not realize it until I bent down to pull the chord while the whacker was still running and I sent electric shocks through my body. It shot out my big toe like a lightening bolt. I still have the scar to prove it.
Maybe I should go see if the lawn mower has decided to work yet. Maybe I should just call a lawn service. Maybe I should go take a bubble bath.