9.02.2007

June's Top Ten...

List of Pet Peeves!

10. Finding a black curly hair on the soap when I step into the shower… and it ain’t mine.

9. Sticky counter tops and kitchen tables. I realize that people live in this house; I just don’t want it to look like monkeys do.

8. When someone eats off of my plate of food or drinks out of my glass. It grosses me out and I have to dump the food and drink and start anew.

7. When you are serving ice cream and as you scoop out the ice cream from the carton it gets all over you knuckles. I can’t stand this one-I won’t buy ice cream in the carton for this exact reason. We live off of ice cream bars because this pet peeve haunts me so much.

6. Senior citizens in the grocery store that you just can’t get away from. They are slow and they take up the middle of the aisle and it seems like they are in front of you for the entire shopping excursion.

5. Neighborhood kids who will ring my doorbell 750,000 times a day! I realize my children are fascinating and the only way you will have any fun on this block is if they come out to play, but for the love of Pete lay off of the friggen door bell! I fully admit this is a cranky pet peeve, but I love my kids… your kids, not so much. I seriously see myself becoming that one old lady on the block who yells things like “Get off of my lawn!” or “I’m going to call the police on your punk ass” but I have come to terms with this and just accepted my role on the block.

4. When people, usually of the male persuasion, ask me if I am breastfeeding as they glance at my boobs. I know they are fabulous-but you creep me out. Does it make your day brighter? Are you able to lead a fuller live now knowing whether or not my lovely lady humps are nursing my child? Are you really that concerned with the nutritional value of my child’s eating habits? No… you are just being a pervert and you may just get a drop kick to the groin from me so back off heebie-jeebie person.

3. When people come up to my baby and stick their face in hers and make all kinds of obnoxious sounds which cause her to cry and then they say “Oh, poor baby, is your mommy not feeding you?” Yeah… that is it. It has nothing to do with the fact that you are a stranger and you are sticking your strange face in hers and talking loud and breathing your stinky breath in her face. I am just not feeding her. Idiot.

2. When someone who shall remain nameless (it rhymes with wuther-in-raw) will try and take my baby out of my arms without asking permission first… as if she has some God-given right to take my child from me. Back off before you get a karate chop to the neck. Hi-YA!

And June’s #1 Pet Peeve:
When the man we all know and love on this blog will hide from his own mother by pretending he is busy doing things like picking up sticks out of the yard, getting the fire pit ready for those fall night fires that will happen in October, checking on the fish pond 12 times in an hour, or mowing all of the neighbors lawns. I do not think it is funny to leave me with her. Talk about throwing a person to the lions. Sure I may hide on the side of the house near the trash cans now and then drinking my beer in peace while she is here, but I can do that. I would chew my arm off if I had to… and just so we are clear, you owe me big time husband of mine. BIG TIME! Especially since you have been at the golf course now for the past 4 hours!!!

12 comments:

Momto5Minnies said...

[OH MY!]Those are so funny and I certainly share a few pet peeves with you.

Your #1 is by far the best. My husband will do that (goodness, I just heard the doorbell ring from one of our neighborhood children ...LOL)as well. IF his parents come for a visit, I INSIST that he takes the day off because their vacation would definitely not be mine. Suddenly I am the babysitter, the entertainment, the cook, the housekeeper, and chauffeur (ahhhhhhhhh).

*I think I may continue your pet peeve post on my side ... later. Today I am in one of my complaining moods.

kristi said...

Yep, I got to experience #6 on Saturday. UGH.

Michelle "-) said...

I can attest to her hiding by the side of the house--I'm her next door neighbor & I saw her standing there shhhing me when I was going to speak to her!
Thank goodness she came clean about those beer cans in my flower bed! My teenagers have been cleared and can be released from house arrest!!

BTW you just think it is the neighborhood "kids" ringing your bell! WEG!!

You are SOOOO LUCKY to be my neighbor and should be paying me & giving me expensive presents! HEY don't call me a MIL--that was low! "-)

Michelle "-)

Mimi said...

I think you should give some of that beer to your MIL--it might mellow her out! Heck, if y'all get plastered together, it might be the beginning of a lifelong MIL-DIL bond. Think how fun that would be--you might even be placing the baby in HER arms before she even asks, so you can chug down a few more, hands free!

mamaDB said...

who asked you if you are breastfeeding while staring at the ladies???? I would kill that person and just have to embarrass the heck out of him by yelling that he's a pervert or something in public! Oh man, this made me mad for you!

Terry Nelson said...

Sounds like the visit is going well. LOL!

Kasia said...

Yeah, I could count on one hand the number of women I've asked about breastfeeding. And it's usually been before they've given birth, as in "So are you planning to breastfeed?" AND they've all been women I've known pretty well. I can't even imagine doing it if I was a guy. I could count on one hand the guys who could get away with asking me that...well, ok, maybe both hands if you include family members who are too big for me to beat up for asking...

Anonymous said...

#6 Seniors in the grocery...made me LOL. The funny thing is that the only thing that separates us is...are you ready for this, the only thing that separates us is TIME!
BJK

missyjreed said...

#7 is not a pet peeve. It's an OCD. But I love reading your blog. Hilarious.

Cris said...

Aunt Barb... I wasn't calling you a senior citizen-I would call my dad a senior, but never you or my mom. You both are eternally 35 for me! :)

Missy-#7 is a pet peeve. It peeves me when the ice cream gets all on my knuckles. It would be OCD if I had to wash my hands over and over and over again in order to get the ice cream off of my knuckles.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

Hilarious!
And I'm totally with you on #4. It happens to me even when I'm not breastfeeding. Argh. Damn pervs.

:o) said...

Your list made me laugh out loud. Especially #3. My nephew used to gag when my brother-in-law talked to him!!