I Wanna Be A Biker Babe...

My daughter came in from playing with her friends yesterday and announced that our neighbor was selling his fishing boat and buying a motorcycle.

My husband thought this was deplorable... I thought it was fantastic!

I love motorcycles, and I love tattoos. I love men who ride motorcycles and have tattoos. I can't help it, I am a devout Catholic.

Years ago when we lived in England, our neighbor had a Harley. I never paid much attention to him or the Hog until one day I was stopped at a light and he pulled up in the next lane. I watched as he slowed the bike and placed his feet firmly yet casually on the ground to steady the monstrous machine under him. I thought it was one of the sexiest things I had ever seen and went directly home and started to beg my husband to get a motorcycle.

I have been begging for years now.

I have also been begging him to get a tattoo. Back in the day I went on a trip to Germany with some girlfriends and came home with a tattoo on my lower back. My husband was so angry with me that he refused to even look at it. He has since grown to love my tat, but he won't even entertain the idea of getting one himself.

I don't understand this. I have promised my husband so many wonderful things (like I would mow the lawn for a year, or wash his car for a month... if you were thinking of other kinds of promises well then you need to get your mind out of the gutter. I am a married woman after all... with four children. I am too tired for those kinds of promises) if he would only get a tattoo and buy a motorcycle. It is not like I am asking him to start wearing leather from head to toe and change his name to "Cornholio" I just want him to get in touch with his wild side a little bit. Is that so bad?

I was telling my mom about my desire to have my husband buy a motorcycle and get a tattoo and you know what she said? She said, "Oh, and Carl would look gooooood on a motorcycle!"

I don't think I'll tell him that... I don't know if having a mother-in-law who thinks he'd look hot on a motorcycle would convince him to head right out to the Harley Davidson dealership with only a quick stop at the tattoo parlor.

A girl can dream can't she?


:o) said...

Several years I was driving down the highway when I saw a man on a motorcycle. He had long hair and a leather vest. This is most emphatically NOT my taste but for some reason my tongue almost fell out of my head. I really wanted to follow him, but I had to go to my night class. That's the only instance of bike attraction I've ever had, but it was really strong. Don't know if he had a tattoo.

Cris said...

:0), just the other day I was driving and a motorcyclist zoomed past me and he was going so fast that his shirt was whipping up in the back from the wind. I mumbled something like "reckless driver" under my breath... but could not take my eyes off of him. He was wearing white socks with brown shoes though... pity, he could have been perfect. HA!

sodaboy said...

how about a compromise- like face paint and a ten speed?

Entropy said...

I bet the women that have the guy with the tats and bike wish they had a guy like yours that would be home and love and support his family. (not saying _all_ bikers are like this but there's a stereotype for a reason).

I with you though. There's something about the bad ones.

Kasia said...

I dunno. I've had enough of bad boys to last me a lifetime. At the same time, based on the pictures I've seen of your husband, he WOULD look awfully good on a motorcycle. (Especially as a Lt. Col.)

Maybe get him a temporary tattoo and he could pose for you on your neighbor's new motorcycle? You might have to make one of those OTHER promises, though...

Cris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chestertonian said...

Don't blame your husband too much Cris: there is an element in the military of officer culture vs. enlisted man culture, and officers do not get tattoos. If he got one, and if word got around that he got one -- as surely it would, as you know military units are like extended families -- he could kiss any additional promotions good-by. He'd end his career as a Lt. Col.

I'm not saying it's fair. That's just the way it is.

I was an enlisted man in the Marines (honorably discharged a sergeant), yet somehow I managed to get through without so much as a single tattoo. Go figure.