6.12.2007

Is The Grass Always Greener or Just Full of Weeds?

What he sees:

Wife laying in bed with baby while he has to get up and go to work. He is very jealous~

What She sees:

Husband getting to escape this house after a full nights sleep since he does not wake up when the baby fusses to eat-and she knows this because every morning he asks "How many times did she wake up?"

What he thinks:

My wife gets to play with the kids all day and watch TV! I wish I lived the life of a vacation.

What actually happens:

Wife is spit up on all day. Wife has not finished an entire sandwich since 1994. Wife gets to do things like wipe little butts, wipe little mouths, wipe little sticky hands all day. Wife gets to listen to children fight and whine and then she gets to threaten them with bodily harm.

What she thinks:

Husband gets to have adult conversation all day long and follow his own agenda. He can eat an entire meal with an actual FORK and he gets to shower all of his body parts every day... not just the important ones on alternating odd and even numbered days.

What actually happens:

Husband gets to have adult conversation all day long and follow his own agenda. He can eat an entire meal with an actual FORK and he gets to shower all of his body parts every day... not just the important ones on alternating odd and even numbered days.

What he sees:

The house is a mess when he comes home at night and there is no dinner on the horizon. Wife is sitting on couch cuddling baby-which she probably did all day long. The bills aren't paid, the laundry is not done, the kids have made a tent city in the family room with bed sheets and there are empty beer bottles on the kitchen counter. Obviously wife had a party!

What actually happened:

Wife tried and tried all day to get things done but either the baby cried or someone was bleeding. She attempted to start dinner 5 different times but each time she suggested something to her children they all said "EWWWW" so she just gave up and ordered a pizza. The checkbook is on the table and she has been balancing it for 3 weeks straight now but she has to keep stopping in order to spank someone, put a band aid on a little person, or fish someones underpants out of the backyard pond. The laundry has been loaded and washed, but she has had no time to put it in the dryer so she has to keep rewashing it every day to take away the musty smell it has. The tent city is in the family room because after listening to her children say "I'm bored" ten thousand times today, she gave in and let them do whatever the hell they wanted to because she started drinking!

What she sees:

When her husband walks in she sees a man who is tan from the golf course and in shape from his afternoon workouts at a gym. She sees a man who has come home refreshed in order to help out by driving kids to evening activities and someone who will take the trash out as it stinks of dirty diapers. She sees a man that has walked through the doors in order to save her from this insanity!

What actually happens:

Husband rarely comments on the laundry, and takes the older kids to their activities... thank GOD!

What she needs:

Her husband to hug her and love her in spite of the unbalanced checkbook and the tent city.

What he needs:

His wife to love him in spite of the golf days and more sex.

What actually happens:

They life happily ever after...

10 comments:

Mary Poppins NOT said...

Yup, this all sounds eerily familiar. But I promise you it will get easier. And I use my 13 and 12 year olds to their full advantage. They are a tremendous help. And just enjoy the little baby. It'll be gone so quickly. You can always pick up the house or do laundry. She's only this little for so short a time. *sigh* can you tell my youngest is 3?

Shauna said...

Nice outlook on life. The truth is always somewhere in the middle, isn't it?

Julie said...

That was so my life about 10 years ago. I remember my hubs asking me "so what did you do today?"

Answer: I raised your children.

Also the way to let your husband know how many times the baby got up is to line up the dirty diapers from the night along the arm of his recliner.

AuburnGalAlways said...

too funny
too true


I could ditto everything here except for the dad who's been to the gym and the beer.

We're out of beer.

fertlmertl said...

#1: What if there IS NO 12 yr. old TO HELP?
#2: People keep telling me it goes by quickly but I swear the last 4 years have taken 40
#3: I think we need a new well because of the number of times I've had to rewash laundry
#4: My husband needs the same things but that last one, even HE is avoiding -- he lives in fear of 5 in 5 years
#5: My hubs doesn't have to ask how many times my punkin gets up, I tell him first thing at 5 am when he leaves just so he realizes the lucky guy that he is.

fertlmertl said...

PS I call it the "Scraps diet". I only really ever get to eat scraps and even then, it's always standing up. Yesterday morning I was getting a cereal bar from the cabinet for myself when 2 little monkeys came rushing over begging. Since it was the last one, they each got half and momma got a reduction in treadmill time. (truth is I probably just replaced those calories with the entire bag of jellybeans I ate later--minus the black ones, blech.)

Toni said...

I remember those days when Luke was little- Oh wait I have a fort in my living room- oh well! The Hubs wont be home until October or November- Surely by then it will all be cleaned up!

Mary Poppins NOT said...

Oh, I remember the days without a 12 year old to help too well. Actually, I don't remember any details, as it is all a blur, probably from sleep deprivation. But, my regret, now that I have the luxury of looking back, is that I stressed too much about the cleaning and picking up, and didn't treasure the babyhoods. I wished them away. Maybe that is just the way it is, and those sweet baby years are only sweet in memory. That is entirely possible. Maybe time only flies when it you are looking back on it. Anyway, it does get easier, but then there are no babies. It's a trade off.

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

This was so exactly my life, it was scary. The part about the checkbook being on the table and the house being a mess...EXACTLY.

Great post!

fertlmertl said...

I know Mary P, I know....I can't begin to imagine the day when my sweet boy won't want to or can't sit on my lap and smother me with kisses, it just does not seem even remotely possible, yet sadly, it is inevitable. Thanks for the reminder. :)