6.17.2007

Because of You...

Because of you... I have these children following me around all day asking for snacks.

Because of you... I go to bed at night with a clean kitchen and wake up to dishes in the sink, bread crumbs on the floor, and warm milk on the counter.

Because of you... I drive a minivan.

Because of you... I go to little league games on Friday night instead of the bar.

Because of you... I buy things like nursing pads instead of a string bikini.

Because of you... I have stretch marks.

Because of you... I have a "mom" haircut instead of the long flowing sexy hair I used to have.

Because of you... I have hemorrhoids from childbirth.

Because of you... I have been naked and screaming in pain as a roomful of people watch me push.

Because of you... I clip coupons.

Because of you... I know who Dora the Explorer is.

Because of you... I no longer have perky boobs.

Because of you... I know what channel is Disney and Nickelodeon.

Because of you... I get sloppy ice cream kisses.

Because of you... I have had gum in my hair.

Because of you... I have gone out in public with spit up on my shirt and Barbie stickers on my butt.

Because of you... I have not slept through the night since 1994.

Because of you... I sound more and more like my mother everyday.

Because of you... I know how to remove ticks from little bodies.

Because of you... I eat more hot dogs than fillet Mignon.

Because of you... I have not used the toilet in peace in years!

Because of you... I have my babies.

Because of you... my life is overflowing with love.

Because of you... it is all worth it!

~Happy Father's Day~

6 comments:

Michelle said...

Just two days ago, I told a woman at the commissary, "Ma'am, you have a sticker on your derriere." She blamed her kids, not realizing (since I was ALONE for once), that I already knew.

Happy Father's Day to all the men who keep the kids from knocking over the pedestal they put us on.

Lady Tramaine said...

Too funny!

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Wow, you make it sound so glamorous!

fertlmertl said...

you forgot.....I am no longer allowed to wear fresh, cool white pants in summer for fear of chocolate smudges that don't look like chocolate (I actually did this twice) and because white is NOT slimming and due to the children, well, you know.

Shauna said...

Awww. Perfect.

diana said...

I loved this! Its a keeper!