Never Underestimate A Gag Reflex...

Twice a year where we live there is a HUGE, I mean HUGE consignment sale for children's clothing. I wait anxiously for the date to arrive and shopping to commence. I love this sale because I can get gently used clothing for all of my children to last them the entire season. Wait... that is a lie. If I bought any of Hope's-I am 13 therefore I am a fashion expert-clothing at a consignment sale she would lock herself in her bathroom and refuse to come out surviving only on toothpaste and mouthwash.

Anyway... like I said, they have this sale in the Spring (to purchase all of your summer clothes) and in the Fall (to purchase all of your winter clothes.) It is GREAT. I will walk out of there with piles and piles of clothing and never have to buy another stitch of clothing for my kids for months and months. You would not believe the amount of people who apparently shop at the Gap or Gymboree and never even put the clothes on their kids! What to do with the extra clothes? Sell it to me!!!!

This year I went and bought for baby Mary and Aaron in one day. They are my easy kids to shop for. Aaron can care less what I buy for him as long as it is denim, nylon sweatpants, or a hoodie. Simple. As for Mary... well she is 17 months old. She does not care what I put on her.

I decided to take Emma with me to do her shopping because although Hope did not start protesting my clothing choices for her until she was 10, Emma has started early. At the age of 2 she looked at me and said "Mother please. Do you really expect me to go outside with this outfit? It is so 18 months."

Shopping with Emma today was like shopping with a crack addict whore. Seriously. She only wanted clothing that had feathers, sequence, faux fur (she has her principles), leopard print, tiger print, cheetah print or that tramp Cinderella on it. She fell in love with a little black number that had a feather collar and tied at the waist. She also had to have a hot pink sweater with diamond studs spelling out the word "Naughty" across the front. Her life's dreams were complete when she spotted the sequence purple tank top with matching leggings and feather boa.

When she was distracted (looking at high heel hooker shoes) I put the tramp-in-training clothes back and purchased the few items that we agreed upon. When we arrived home she could not wait to show her siblings her bea-u-tiful clothing finds.

Imagine her surprise when she dumped out all of the clothing and all she found was pretty pink sweaters and girly leggings and Mary Jane shoes.

She turned to me and said "M!O!M!"

Now, I know a little secret about my 5 year old. She gets disgusted easily. If she sees Mary with a little extra lunch on her shirt she will beg me to change Mary's clothes because she is so utterly disgusted that she cannot even look at Mary... and she may just get sick and vomit.

I looked at Emma and said "Em, when you were looking at the shoes, I went through all of the clothes we LOVED and I put back all of the clothes that had food stains on them... and Em, I have to tell you... that black feather top that you loved so much... it had some other kid's booger on the sleeve!"

She put her hand up for me to stop talking about such disgusting things. She was appalled that anyone would be so gross as to try and sell clothing with boogers on it. She even had to leave the room because my detailed explanation about the green booger that was still wet was making her gag.

Some people have no class at all. *wink*