My Daughter Is Dating... Please Send Money For My Bail

Today I read this:

DELTONA, Fla. - An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter's boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in his daughter's room. Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.
He heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning and saw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.
The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples.
The father was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000.

The father was charged with aggravated battery and bonded out on $10,000???? Huh? Let me get this straight... If I hear something in my house and I go to investigate and I find a naked person jumping on a bed in my house, I am not supposed to go Rambo on their butt? I am not supposed to whack them over the head with a metal pipe? What about a baseball bat? Can I hit them with a baseball bat? Better yet, what about a gun? Can I shoot the naked person who is jumping on a bed in my house if I don't know who they are?

I guess not.

Do you know what would have happened if my father caught this kind of activity going on in my house when my sisters and I were growing up? My father would not have hit the boy over the head, no, he would have strangled the boy and then hit us over the head. We would have never seen the light of day ever again. We would still be in our rooms today, locked away from perverted boys and bad influences. We would eventually be on the news when we finally were able to emerge from our bedrooms at the age of 45 squinting at the sunlight and saying things like "What do you mean Scott Baio is 45 and Single?" and "Now let me get this straight, you can carry around your telephone in your back pocket and talk to anyone around the world for $29.99 a month?"

Parents don't stand a chance today. You can't even bring the shotgun out and threaten a teenager anymore... they'll call the police and you'll be in jail and the teenage boy will be out with your teenage daughter trying to convince her that he loves her and can't live without her... blah blah blah.

They don't scare me... little punks.


Cousin Steve said...

I gotta go lock up and weld shut and glue and whatever else I can think of to Kylie's door and windows. She's already 5 for goodness sake. I am not taking any chances.

Anonymous said...

Crazy! What ever happened to the law...self-defense/trespassing? What if the guy was a rapist..would the dad still have been hauled off to jail?

This is the kind of stuff we have to look forward to if Obama becomes president...complete stupidity.

Courageous Grace said...

Move to Texas. Then you can shoot him. :D

Tom in Vegas said...

I side with the fathers.

Although there is a contradictory component to these situations when you see fathers on one hand protect their daughters from these spirited boys, while on the other hand encouraging their sons to "go for it."

Vicious circle, wouldn't you say?

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

June, I'll get to you in a second.

Describing the boy whose been screwing this guys daughter for a year as 'spirited' borders on sacrilege. Yes, they are both guilty but what we need in this world is a little more modesty from our girls and a little more ability for our boys to keep their peckers in their pants. This is not 'spirited' behavior, this is sexual intercourse between two children who are not prepared for the ramifications of their actions but every kid on every TV show and music video they watch is doing it so why can't they! Ridiculous!

We should set up a legal defense fund for this guy...we could call it "Help pay for more stupid things in Florida" and we could use any leftover money to purchase better voting booths prior to the election in November.

It's just too bad that I don't like expressing my feelings that much. ;-P

Tom in Vegas said...

Stupid Fat Hobit-

Perhaps it’s a little too obscured for your senses to detect, but the word "spirited" was used sarcastically in my comments. The first sentence I wrote - in case you missed it - was "I side with the fathers", so you can spare me the moral tutelage and direct it at those pedophile, misogynistic fathers who encourage their boys to go out and screw thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen year-old girls.

Debbie said...

Oh. My. Word. The only mistake that father made was swinging that pole too gently and not taking full advantage of the power tools he had in his garage. Plus, can I just add, chastity belt anyone?

Anonymous said...

My dad would've handed me off to my mom - who would've been strangling me, while dad was doing unmentionables to the boy...I have a feeling that boy would never be able to have kids if he'd been caught in my room, jumping naked on bed... I'm just sayin'.

Laura said...

That's not a great way to get to know your future son in law. After all that, do you suppose the two teenagers would be encouraged to get married if the daughter got pregnant?

Lanxi said...

Okay, this post was scary enough without Laura's comment. "So, when did you meet your son-in-law?" "Gosh, when was that? Oh right, the night I cracked him over the head with a pipe and went to jail. But we've been great friends since!"

I used to think that having only one girl was a gift, but I still gotta deal with all the hormones of the boys. Thankfully, we are raising them to be honest and open with us. Hopefully, it'll make a difference and my son will never come home needing any kind of medical treatment!

Cousin Steve said...

OK, so I have a problem with my (the house) plumbing. I go to get a pipe to fix that problem. Turns out there is a 15 day waiting period on pipes now. Kind of weird huh?

P.S. I am going to buy one of those tree chippers from Fargo (the movie). Just in case one of Kylie's boyfriends decides to get a little...... anything. Is that wrong??? I just hope it's not diesel, have seen diesel prices?

Urban Mom said...

What about a Taser? Can ya Taser him?

The world is too weird anymore. Some days I want to bag it and move to an Aleutian island.

Meritt said...

Hi - I popped in because Sphere told me our blogs had something in common. Now I know what - I blogged about this SAME THING YESTERDAY!

Looks like we are in agreement as well. Crazy!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I've always said I've got land, a gun, and a shovel.

Dad29 said...

Seems to me that the father's aim was about 24" high.

Anonymous said...

If that was me, I would have assumend anyone in my daughter's bedroom naked about to jump on her bed was going to do her harm and would have killed the little shit!

blunoz said...

June, I'm with the rest of your readers. I think the guy had every right to defend his daughter from what could have been a serial rapist for all he knew. The kid's lucky he got out alive. Shame on the court for not honoring the father defending his family inside his own home.

momto5minnies said...

5 girls ... need I say more ;)

Christine said...

Every time I come to this blog I LOL loud and the comments also get me rolling.

A teenage guy has been sneaking in the house for a whole year and the parents didn't know......come'on parents know what your kids are doing. TALK to your kids and pray together. And all that other good family stuff.

Out of anger I would have been swinging also....however, it is still assult and his sweet little innocent daughter was not screaming rape. So....before people start swinging and shooting...get a good lawyer!