9.26.2008

Had It Up To Here? Welcome To My World...

Do you ever have one of those days where everything that is on your to-do list just makes you want to vomit? That is me today.

I remember the days when I didn't have to do anything... when I could just sit on my rear and watch TV. Adolescence is great isn't it?

No one tells you that when you have kids you will be picking up crap off of the floor for the rest of your life. Days like today make me want to just run back under my covers and go back to sleep for 12 hours... but I know my children would find me, they always do.

I am so tired of walking into my kitchen and there always being a dirty fork in the sink and a half poured glass of milk on the counter. I am tired of my counters always looking sticky and I am so sick of the fact that the dishwasher is constantly clean and has to be emptied before I can put the dirty fork and glass in there. If I had a million dollars, I would hire someone who's sole task in this life would be to empty my dishwasher 7 times a day.

I hate laundry. I hate the fact that when I tell the kids to bring me their laundry they throw it in the laundry room in piles on the floor, and then my neighbor will stop by to say hello and walk right through the laundry room entrance and see that we live like animals. I hate sorting laundry, washing laundry, folding laundry and I LOATHE looking at the folded laundry in the laundry room for weeks on end because my children go deaf every time I say to them "You have clean laundry in the laundry room. Put it away!" I also hate that after I have done all of the laundry and it is folded my children will do one of two things, they will leave their pile of clean clothes in the laundry room and go in and just take out the things that they need. My son has been out of boxer shorts in his dresser for 5 years now. He just changes his boxers in the laundry room-taking one clean pair and leaving the rest folded neatly on the folding shelf and then leave the dirty pair on the floor. Or they will say to me "Mom! You didn't wash my uniform skirt!" because it is stuffed under a bed and wasn't brought up on Friday with the rest of the dirty laundry. Also, the occasion in which they discover that something has not been washed usually happens 5 minutes before they need to walk out of the door with it on.

I am tired of giving baths to little people. Some days it is fun, but most days I would rather pull my fingernails out then bathe my little children. They splash until the entire bathroom is soaking, scream when I wash their hair, cry when I wash their feet, wiggle away when I wash their bottoms and some days the baby will even poop in the tub! Then I get to pull everyone out of the bath, scrub and disinfect the tub and then start all over with the bath. I mean, I have days where I think that showering myself is a load of work... to have to bathe little bodies is torture.

I am so tired of walking into every room in my house and it never looking the way it did the last time I walked out of it. Some days I avoid the family room like the plague simply because I don't want to pick up 1000 pairs of barbie shoes and 79 battalions of army men. I just don't understand why everything needs to look like a tornado just hit. One room I hate to walk into is my son's room. I walked in there yesterday and I could not even see the floor. He has a laundry basket but it is empty and there are clothes strewn everywhere. He could not fold a used bath towel up on a rack to save his life... seriously, if someone said to him "In order to avoid a slow death by fire ants, all you need to do is hang up your wet towel." he would be eaten alive within an hour.

I am tired of my dresser being the "dump-all." Don't know what to do with the hoards of letters that come home from school? Put them on mom's dresser. Don't know what to do with this lonely sock that you can't find the match for? Put if on mom's dresser. Have no idea what to do with this Barbie leg that your brother pulled off of your favorite doll? Put it on mom's dresser. How about the tags to the new top you just got? Put it on mom's dresser. Wondering just where to put the dirty spoon from the pudding you were walking around eating? Put it on mom's dresser... and while you're at it, you might as well put the empty pudding cup on her dresser also.

I am really tired of constantly having to repeat myself. "Mom? MOM? Can I go down to the corner and sell Dad's chainsaw?" (NO! We have to go pick up your sister and then head over to the grocery to buy some Tylenol and poster board and then we have to drop off your other sister at dance class and go to the post office.) "WHAT?" (I SAID WE HAVE TO GO....) "WHAT?" (WE HAVE TO...) "WHAT?" (JUST GET IN THE CAR!)

*Big Sigh* Maybe tomorrow I will wake up with a new outlook on life. Doesn't Oprah say that attitude is a choice? Well... what the hell does she know? She wakes up to people doing crap for her, not her doing crap for people... little people who need to be fed and bathed and loved. The chances of me waking up tomorrow morning and saying "Oh Joy! I get to do piles of laundry today!" is about as realistic as me pooping rainbows.

45 comments:

momto5minnies said...

I can understand those frustrations. The other day my daughter had a to dig her uniform shirt out of the laundry (we febrezed it). I can't do all and remember all for everyone.

Today I am in a rare happy mood. Maybe because it is Friday. It certainly can't be because my in-laws are coming tomorrow. I am convinced my hormones are just wacky ... maybe I am bipolar ;)

Alicia said...

I certainly feel your pain. It is an evil, vicious cycle that never ends. I find that a few glasses of wine make it all looks so much prettier though.

Christine said...

Alicia said it all.....wine! Invest in some good merlot and kick off your heels and really let this stuff go. It is what it is. Nothing more nothing less. At least find comfort that there are a million mothers out there just like you who feel the same way.

Kasia said...

May I offer a suggestion?

Clean laundry left in the laundry room for more than a day...mysteriously disappears, leaving said child with nothing to wear. The first time - maybe two - it turns back up in a black plastic laundry bag when they ask for it. After that, all bets are off.

Just a suggestion, from someone who was once a kid JUST LIKE yours...

punditdad said...

Wow! I thought my 11 month old daughter could be a pain. I have no reason to complain. I should put all my liquor money towards a maid fund right now!

kat said...

I loved your comment about Oprah, I'm just as tired as you about receiving advice from people who don't have a clue what it is really like living in a large family.
Just look at Branglia, I can't stand how everyone is saying she's the perfect mom. Yeah well, I would be too if I had several nannies at my beck and call. I can't see Angie rinsing dirty cloth diapers in the toilet before she washes them. I can't even picturing her washing clothes.
Have a beer, go relax, eat a pint of ice cream...

Anonymous said...

Geez!! If I had my own blog this would certainly look like one of my own entries. I so feel your pain June. Just two words of advice for you and fellow readers--RED WINE.

Urban Mom said...

You deserve a very large cocktail. Right NOW.

Kathy said...

I just spent the last two hours trying to get my kids to pick up their rooms and game room so I know how you feel. And while my husband isn't in Iraq, he might as well be with the help he gives me around here (that's my vent).

Kids are messy and stressful and difficult and tiring and.... But I'd sure miss them if they weren't here.

We're really lucky :)

Diva Mom Vicki said...

Just remember, it's always Happy Hour somewhere...

Marva said...

Could our families be related? Hang in there, girlfriend! :)

Anonymous said...

I just love to read your blog! You just nail how I feel every time.

I have 3 boys and the older two think that where ever they are, it's ok to take off your socks and leave them.

My 4yo insists on being called by the name of whatever superhero costume he has on. This makes me crazy sometimes!

Thanks for reminding me that I'm not the only one in the trenches of child care and home.

Amy

heather said...

Oh, how I needed this today! I will be directing everyone who reads my blog- all 3 of them :-) -
to this post. You hit the nail on the head. It makes us moms just feel better to know that we really all are in the same boat. Thanks for the post.
p.s. I could have written word for word your bathtime scenario--just not so funny, of course. I HATE BATHTIME!!!!!!!!

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

I can't stand this crap either! I quit...wait, I can't quit, parenting isn't a job. How do I get off this train. I admit that I don't have to bathe anyone but myself and there is never more than 1 person in the shower at a time around here but everything else goes. I get no help whatsoever from either of the teenagers in this house and I'm sick of it. If I had a blog, I'd write about today and you'd see that one bottle of wine just isn't enough. Oh wait, I do have a blog; gimme a couple minutes, would you???

Anonymous said...

What a lovely trip down memory lane you just gave us empty nesters. If I could have another one of those days I would just say, "Everyone in the car, we're going to the mall."
But truthfully, I made everyone chip in and put the house in order before we left. ;)
Great post!
Love,
Aunt Barbara

mary ellen said...

You have described my life, except my husband is here and does help a lot while you are on your own. I pray for you and your family every time I come to your blog. Hang in there.

Here's something that I got from reading a book about St. Benedict's rule and it helps me. I feel some days like the worst part of my job is that anything I do is either undone immediately or (even worse) some other calamity is happening in the room where I am not working, usually resulting in even more work than before I started the original job. So, I have been working hard at not being focused on results so much. Instead, I focus on doing whatever job I'm engaged in as well as I can, realizing that by fulfilling the duties of my vocation, what I am doing is a pleasing gift to God. Then, if it is undone or another mess is made, I can take comfort in knowing that my efforts still have value. I know this may sound unrealistic or even a little cheesy, but it has genuinely helped me deal with the many annoying aspects of being a wife and mother.

Of course, I also agree that a nice cold drink doesn't hurt either. Afterall, the Benedictines have always been known to be masters of fermentation!

Cousin Steve said...

Who's Oprah??

Anonymous said...

Or you could do what Grandpa Mac did when we left our piles of laundry etc. on the stairs to our bedrooms...he pitched all of it down the basement stairs and then called us to pick it all up and take it upstairs. Seriously, that cured our laziness. Hee hee! Yes, Grandpa Mac sure knew how to make a point!
Love,
Aunt Barbara
ps I remember one time when my clean sheets hung over the end of my bed for a week! Oops, did I admit that...

Anonymous said...

Come on cousin steve, tell us if you ever left your laundry on the stairs. cousin steve grew up in the same house (years later)that I grew up in.
Love,
Aunt Barbara

Denn Mom said...

Have you been secretly spying on me and my family and my sticky, dirty, so-cluttered-I-can't-see-straight-let-alone-poop-rainbows house? Because you just described it all to a T.

cousin steve's mom said...

That brought back memories that my my hair stand up.

Steve leave clothes on the stairs. What stairs? We had stairs?

Cousin Steve said...

To tell you the "truth".... I was the model kid. I started doing my own laundry not too long after my fourth birthday. However,...... my sisters..... good gosh. It took me years and years of harping to get them to pick up their clothes. I could hardly make it up said stairs. I can't tell you how many times I opened the upstairs door just to have stuff fall on my feet. Incidentally, that same feeling still keeps me up some nights.

Some people think perfection comes easy, for me though, it's a daily struggle.

(Just wait til mom responds to this one!! I'm so full of crap.)

june cleaver said...

I, like my Cousin Steve, was the picture of perfection of a child.

(I am full of crap as well... I distinctly remember my mother looking at me one day before going to school, and in her shock at what a slob I was, she told me to not let anyone know I was her child. I thought that was the stupidest thing I ever heard-everyone already knew I was her child! I blamed it on her early morning cocktails-dont deny it mother!)

-June

Aubrey said...

...and sometimes you just want to pretend it's a job and QUIT. You hit the nail on the head.

My husband is getting back after a week out of town on business. I know my short week was nothing compared to what you're up against, but I offered it up for you.

Cheers!

Minivan Mom said...

Oh my gosh the part about repeating, had me rolling. I feel like my kids take selective listening to a whole new level! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Spooky. That is MY life! Jen in OK

June's MA said...

Early morning coctails? - that was V8! What would you do with a daughter who kicked a priest in the leg? Live long and all troubles become laughable eventually.

Blessings,
June's MA

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate to this blog today!!

My husband is deployed right now, and has been gone for months. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning and I walk into the filthy house that is falling down around me. After taking everyone to school, teaching 10 year olds all day long, coming home only to take everyone to soccer practice, we arrive home at 8pm and I want to scream because I don't want this to be our house because it's such a pile of CRAP, and I'm too tired to do anything about it "today" because it's time for showers and bed and up the next morning to do it all over again.

(((Hugs)))

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and I love it!
I have spent years trying to teach my kids the concept of a trash can. No luck so far.
In an effort to keep the Health Dept from labeling my house a biohazard, I started bi-weekly "family cleans." About twice a week, I declare that EVERYBODY is going to help clean up. Whenever a kid finishes an assigned job, they have to come see me to get another one, until we are done. My husband helps, too. This keeps me from yanking my hair out in clumps, and my house stays reasonably sanitary. Plus it sends an important message: it is NOT MY JOB to clean up everybody else's mess. Their future college roommates will thank me!
Again--love the blog.
Laurel

cousin steve's mon said...

I'm shocked and appauled that Steve would make a comment like that.

I went into to his room one day. To steal a line from the Sunday Visitor writer, I said "Can we talk? Are we alone? Are you sure?"

Steve is Irish. What more can I say.

Cousin Steve said...

I don't get it.

I think my mom's been hitting the sauce.

Rebecca Goodwin said...

You are so not alone. Some days just suck more than others, and sometimes it's just too much.
And everyone who advocates making kids do their own laundry or "do without" has never felt the withering shame of seeing their kid look like a pile of dirty laundry while standing next to someone else's immaculately turned out child. It's just not that simple.

Anonymous said...

I send them off to Grandma's for the weekend so I can clean, and it takes 5 min. for a return to utter slobdom! How bout kiddos rollerskating thru the house and knocking down those piles of folded clean laundry? Changing the boxers and leaving the dirty ones indistinguishable from the clean ones (ick!) Trying to get them to be responsible for themselves? I can relate to the withering shame...

MKHKKH said...

Oh June, the glamorous life we lead. Pitiful isn't? Can I copy and paste your post onto my blog? Ditto. But I at least get a little break from the hubby on the weekend while you are hanging tough solo. Hey could you put a ticker up for those of us waiting and praying for Carl's safe return? I don't know how you roll solo. I would sink. Well, at least drink.... A LOT!!

Star Molegraaf said...

You are still soooo hilarious- so glad to be back in the blogging world. Can't wait to catch up. Love your Oprah comment-too funny, and I couldn't agree more!!

Cathy said...

My fave is disentangling the dirty boxers from the shorts or jeans because my older son insists on taking them off together. Nothing perks up my day so much as pulling dirty underwear out of dirty jeans.

Also in my house.. no kid flushes a toilet or changes the roll of toilet paper. Ugh! Just gross.

Anonymous said...

Methinks you struck a nerve with this post! Look at all the comments.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is this too shall pass and one day you will be home and your kids will be grown and you will say where the hell did the time go? It goes by faster than anything else in the world so sit back and enjoy the mess. Hug on your kids and have fun with them. They do grow up way too fast and trust me, you will miss them and all the chaos. I know.

~ Straight Shooter ~ said...

"pooping rainbows"!!!!
That is my new fave saying!
I love poop comments to throw out AT the crumb snatchers.
My standard answer to What's for dinner is "Poop on a stick with Sparkles".
Thank you June.

Rebecca said...

Laundry is my biggest annoyance. It's such a long process and it never goes away - not for long at least. Have a good week.

Anonymous said...

June, are you okay? It's been a few days and we are starting to get worried about you. Have you fallen down (in a pile of laundry) and can't get up? Send for help or at least send out for wine.
Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Heehee-- I got through half of this and realized:

THIS IS A BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE FOR SINGLES!!! Heehee!!

Love it-- going thru it-- praying for you and family!! TIna

Muddlin' Mother said...

so nice to hear I am not alone. And I see we have a lot of comrades who are up in arms!

Bekah said...

I could have written this whole thing! It just might not have been as funny. The only days I get any repreive are the days someone ELSE has my kids. But I find on those days, I'd rather take a nap and watch an entire 30 minute show without getting up one time than clean the house.

Robin said...

I know you have something like 40bazillion readers, but seriously, you make me laugh daily..or at least as often as you post.

And I really needed to read this today as I pick up at least 50 bazillion light bright pieces off the guest bedroom floor...again.