8.09.2008

Plant It And It Will Grow...

I am obviously the Internet's leading expert on crazy because when this hit the news you all flooded my inbox with links, jokes, jabs, and "I can't believe you haven't reported on this yet!" So here it is!

Matthew McConaughey says the birth of his son will help bring a little joy to others in the world someday. The actor kept the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it in an orchard, he tells CNN's "House Call with Dr. Sanjay Gupta" in interview scheduled to air in two parts Aug. 9 and Aug 16.

McConaughey says he hopes it will fertilize the land, a ritual long followed in several cultures.
"It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," he says, according to an interview transcript. "When I was in Australia, they had a placenta tree that was on the river ... and all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan, whatever aboriginal tribe that was, all the placentas went under that one tree and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength.

"This tree was just growing taller and stronger above the rest of Mother Nature around it. It was gorgeous."

McConaughey also says he and his girlfriend Camila Alves have enjoyed integrating their new baby, Levi Alves McConaughey, into their lives. Already they've started introducing him to the "sights and the sounds" of the world — including a John Mellencamp concert.
"You're never told in our house, 'Shh, Levi is sleeping.' No. Get used to the ambiance. Come with us. That's how I was raised," he says.


I think Matthew reads my blog and is just screwing with me now. Seriously. To be honest with you though... this was not the first time I have heard about this. When I was pregnant with Aaron, Carl and I took The Bradley Method birthing classes. It is a husband-coached, no drugs, happy sounds, good feelings, gentle way of birthing a baby. The method worked for me until I started screaming and my head spun around in circles and I vomited... but other than that, it is a GREAT way to birth a baby. (If you have used the Bradley Method and love it, do not email me and tell me I am misrepresenting it... I loved it too-but if I said rainbows shot out of my uterus during birth, well that wouldn't be honest, and I am all about honesty. Fingers-crossed I promise!) ANYWAY... the couple that was teaching the Bradley Method to us had the placenta from her previous birth IN THEIR FREEZER! Right there, next to the ground beef and Popsicles. They were going to plant it in the Spring. I think that may have been the class where Carl looked at me and said "We are never coming back."

I have also heard of some cultures eating the placenta... or is that wild animals? I can't remember... but in Matthews defense, he is just trying to be one with the earth dude. Look at all that this man does for our planet... first off, he helps it to look pretty because he is so damn hot, secondly, he lives in a tent and surfs to work and bathes in the ocean. Talk about conservation. Lastly, and most importantly, he does not use deodorant which means he is not doing anything to deplete the ozone. I think we should applaud Matthew for all of his efforts.

Two things struck me when I was reading this article. I loved how he used the word "behemoth." I was impressed with his vast vocabulary. Usually when they are so hot they are dumb (like Ashton Kutcher) but to use a word like behemoth in a sentence so easily-well that means he must have used it in a movie and read it the a script. Life imitating art... art imitating life. Very nice. For those of you who need to look up the word "behemoth" in order to know what the hell it means here it is...

Behemoth (Hebrew בהמות, behemot; Arabic بهيموث bahīmūth, or بهموت bahamūt) is a creature mentioned in the Book of Job, 40:15-24. The word is most likely a plural form of בהמה (bəhēmāh), meaning beast or large animal. It may be an example of pluralis excellentiae, a Hebrew method of expressing greatness by pluralizing a noun; it thus indicates that Behemoth is the largest and most powerful animal ever to exist. Metaphorically, the name has come to be used for any extremely large or powerful entity.

I didn't know what it meant either so don't feel bad, and if you did know what it meant before reading the above definition... well don't tell me. Braggart. I think we should all use the word "behemoth" in a sentence today.

Also, I loved where Matthew says that they do not shush friends when they come over if Levi is sleeping. "Get used to the ambiance. Come with us. That's how I was raised." I wonder if they will have that rule when #4 baby comes along and Mama just wants to get a little sleep, or maybe she wants to be able to take a shower, or possibly get a load of laundry in, or eat a sandwich, or go to the toilet, or just sit on the couch and stare into space for a moment without the baby waking up. Yeah, I bet when #4 rolls around the rule in that house will be "If you wake up the baby you are sleeping with the dogs tonight."

Although, if Mr. McConaughey is raising his boy in the same manner that he was raised, I say more power to him. 20 years from now I will be writing about crazy hot Levi, who doesn't wear deodorant and has been known to play the bongos naked.

Matthew, if you are reading this... keep it up my friend. Keep it up.


Thanks Patrick and Lori for being the very first to notify me of this Matthew sighting nano seconds after it broke... way to be on Matthew alert!



11 comments:

momto5minnies said...

Oh my ... you're killin' me lady!

That man really must be loaded. He lives on the beach ... so no mortgage, and he is only ever 30% clothed. That has to be some huge savings.

Sue B. said...

I so love your writing. I had heard of placenta planting and eating ("yummy!",) and knew what behemoth meant and that he had used it incorrectly.

But you should win an award for the statement about "rainbows [not]shooting from your uterus" during childbirth. You are truly amazing!

And none of this is sarcasm -- except for the "yummy."

Michelle said...

Yeah, I bet when #4 rolls around the rule in that house will be "If you wake up the baby you are sleeping with the dogs tonight."

Exactly. I never shushed anybody when I had one or two. But now? Man, oh man, do I get mean when Mary is woken up from her third 5-minute nap of the day.

The only ambiance I want during naptime is the "peace and quiet" kind.

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

For the first time in weeks I'm glad that I haven't yet acted on the idea to make your blog my browser's homepage! When Yahoo! popped up, I saw the article on Yahoo! News and immediately thought of you. I honestly didn't realize the article was that new. Anyway, I'm glad that you didn't miss it :-)

Patrick

Christie@tisbutaseason said...

I must agree...crazy or not, the man is hot! Thanks for a humorous look at this "news"! :)

The Farmer's Wife said...

I saw it too and was just waiting for this post. LOL! I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Lanxi said...

Look how many of us thought of you immediately when a story about cute and adorable came up!

I had the option of taking home my placenta from the birth center, but declined. I mean, how could I ever live with myself if the tree actually died? It would take too many years of therapy with money I don't have because of all these kids. No thanks, why don't you just go ahead and haz mat that one for me.

Anna B. said...

ROFL....

Thanks for the laughs..

Amanda said...

It's not the "crazy", it's that it's him. The super sexy Matthew who you love to write about.

I'm just a random internet reader who's never even commented and even I thought of you when I read that. lol

Here's hoping for lots of M.M. news in the media for the next year. You know, to help distract you. :)

Regular gal said...

I wonder if he'll wear the same outfit he wore for the bongo-playing when he plants the placenta...

Kasia said...

I think some cultures do actually eat the placenta - I knew a woman who planned to do that, but I didn't see her again after the birth, so I don't know how that turned out...it can't be much worse than black pudding, now, can it? ;-)