Did I Even HAVE A Great-Great-Grandma Cleaver?

Thank you for all of your kind words. They will be a help to me when I am in a ball of tears at the sight of a big spider in the bathroom at 2 a.m. and my Chief Spider-Killer is not here.

We just returned from a forced-family-fun trip to Okoboji Iowa. If you have not heard of Okoboji or have never visited Okoboji... well you must be living under a rock, because anyone who is anyone goes to Okoboji. I think I may have spotted one of the Olsen twins there... either that or it was a bag lady at the Piggly Wiggly. Not sure.

This turned out to be another trip where in the future, when I am dead or in an insane asylum, my children will look at one another and say, "Did Mom go with us to Okoboji? I can't remember seeing her there." Because I am not in one of the pictures taken because I spent my entire time following around a cranky one-year old who did not like sleeping in a hotel room with all of her family members. How dare we think that we could sleep in the same area as her! The nerve! I always say that my great-great grandchildren will not know what I looked like because there is not one picture of me around this place. They will know what great-great-granddad Carl looked like, all suntanned and beautiful, but they will not know how beautiful I was. If there are any pictures of me to be had on family vacations, I usually look pale and tired and have a pruned butt from sitting in 6 inches of water at a baby pool all week. Ahhhh... memories.

No, there was no boating for me, no skiing, no water sliding, no nothing at Okoboji. Although, I did get one spin around the lake on the inflatable tube with my friend Lori. We were laughing so hard that Lori had to jump ship because she started to pee (damn those weak birthing bladders) and my uterus is resting nicely at the bottom of Lake Okoboji. Nothing like a lake-enema to wake you up and make you walk funny.

So now we are back and Carl has requested all of his favorite meals before he leaves. Tonight it is meatloaf (ugh... leave it to a man to love a loaf of meat covered in Ketchup), tomorrow is brisket and for Sunday we have the pièce de résistance... Christmas/Thanks/Easter Turkey dinner-complete with jellied cranberry sauce.

I have decided to spend the next few days in a constant state of buzz. The liquor store down the street already told me I have purchased my limit for August. Can you believe that? A liquor store cashier cut me off. Mercy. I figure if I am buzzed everything will be funny. "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." If you can name the movie quote I will send you a prize. I don't know what the prize will be... or if I'll really send you anything, but play anyway. You never know what I am capable of after I have been cut off by a liquor store cashier. Good Luck!


Colleen said...

Ooooh, ooooh, I know! It's Steel Magnolia's!!!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Rats! I'm never first! And it is Steel Magnolia's.

Didn't the goofy blonde say it? Can't remember her name in the movie or in real life. Damn those weak birthing brains!

Lanxi said...

I'd say, with what you are dealing with, it's worth the gas money to find a liquor store that doesn't know you.

I hope that the rest of your week is (somewhat....you do have 4 kids after all) peaceful and that you actually get a chance to sit down, look each other in the eyes and have 'that moment' that you are both desperately wanting, and yet dreading at the same time.

Chris said...

Leave it to a man from the South to know that it's from "Steel Magnolia's". Truvie (Dolly Parton) said it; I think she was talking to Lanelle, but it may have been Shelby. Wow, I know way too much about that movie for any self-respecting straight man!

Anonymous said...

dang...I guess you have to be an early riser to answer blog trivia!

I never know movie trivia...that's Ryan's job. But I knew this one!

Love you and see you soon

Soul Pockets said...

Sounds like you had a ummmm good trip.

You could always wait outside the liquor store in the shadows of the night and wait for the first drunk guy to walk in. Ask him to buy you a forty. All you have to do is promise to give him the first swig. Works every time :)

Kathleen said...

Dang...I'm never 1st!

Steel Magnolias is one of my favorite quotable movies...my fav line? "I'm an old southern woman, I am expected to grow tomatoes and wear silly hats."

Here's to never growing old!

Rob said...

No fair quoting the Chickiest of Flicks! What's next Beaches or Terms of Endearment?

How about a 2nd contest for your male peeps?

Something from Rocky, Terminator, Rambo, Mama Mia...um...I mean Die Hard

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

June, June, June,
On a day when Matthew (Ugh) McConaughey announces that he's going to plant his son's placenta in an orchards I didn't make this up; you come up with lake-enemas? You are so losing your grip!!
I am mad at the liquor store salesperson though. I love you even more when your buzzing...Oh well, kiss Ward for us. We're still praying.


Cassie said...

Oh for Heaven's sake, what is wrong with Matthew McConaughey??? He's completely lost his mind.

June Cleaver said...

Congratulations Colleen! You Win! I promise the contest was not fixed seeing as a Irish Girl won. I hope the satisfaction of being the first to know the answer was prize enough for you... because that was the prize! I hope you enjoy your moment on top!


Barb said...

Lake Okoboji?! I've been there. Lived for a time in Marcus, IA. Find that one on a map! We loved going there, I'll bet it's changed quite a bit by now.

chefstinsonfamily said...

i have been a lurker on your blog for the past year. I found it through another homeschool mom's blog. Your humor and wit can get me through the day! Our family went to Okoboji every year for our family vacation and it was great! I hope you and yours had a great time too!

I will be praying for your husband and for you as he leaves and throughout the next year.

Urbandale, IA