It All Makes Sense Now...

Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy... apparently Oh BIG boy!

Matthew McConaughey's father died having sex with his mom, Mama McConaughey says in her new book, "I Amaze Myself!"
“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay McConaughey tells Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing," she says. "But it was just the best way to go!”
When her husband couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the nude.
“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.
Kay McConaughey also says her famous son, 38, was a happy accident. It was just after she’d married Matthew’s dad for the third time.
“I was deciding, ‘Do I want to have another baby? Do I want to have an affair? Or go back to school?’” she says. “That’s when Matthew was conceived. We had tried for 16 years and no baby. So Matthew was a big surprise!”

I love how she knew something was wrong because she didn't hear anything. I would think that her first clue would have been the dead weight on top of her. Was that too crude? I apologize. I just can't stop giggling at this though.

Just the other day I was asking myself three questions. They weren't like Mrs. McConaughey's questions, "Hmmmm, I just don't know... should I have a baby? Maybe an affair? Oh, but maybe I should go back to school." No, my three questions were, "Should I have a salad for dinner? Maybe chicken? Why not a M&M Blizzard!"

If Matthew is anything like his dad... well I am just going to keep my mouth shut because I don't want to offend any of you. Oh who am I kidding? If Matthew is anything like his dad then no wonder his baby's mama is always smiling. That is all I am going to say... I promise. Except for the fact that all I keep hearing in my head is "Thank you Sir! May I have another!"

I couldn't help myself. My husband is gone and I am ovulating... my mind is a little fuzzy right now.

It is obvious that the apple does not fall far from the tree in the McConaughey family... I just wonder if the tree is behemoth because of all of the placentas buried under it.
Thanks Joy @ southernjoy


warren said...

Maybe the dead-weight was under her...I can't think about it any more.
The last pic was interesting. I don't think I understand the "barnacle" look though...in fact, I am slightly scared

southernjoy said...

LOL! I knew you would turn it into something great to read!

momto5minnies said...

WOW! Sometimes you can't escape those genes ... as much as we try.

I think if my husband could wish he looked like anyone it would be the body of Matthew with the face of Pierce Brosnan.

Does your husband know of your little "admiration"????

Michelle said...

I'm with Warren on the placement of the dead weight. My thoughts were...I suspected something was wrong, but I waited until I was done to find out.

Aubrey said...

Man, that's a barnacle? I'm from Nebraska, so I assumed it was a corncob.

Urban Mom said...

Thank you thank you thank you for an out-loud laugh right before bed!

Anonymous said...

is that a metal detector in his right hand ????

Anonymous said...

Another hilarious blog...you made my day!
Matthew always brings great blog material...and now his mother gets into the act, but lets now get into how some of those left coast people can be different from the rest of us!
Just nice to be safe in the midwest!
Bottoms up! ;)
Aunt Barbara

Anonymous said...

So, THAT'S what's wrong with him! My gosh, I think I'd hide under a rock if that was published about my mother...AND she wrote a book about it.. Some things are better left secrets. :)

Debbie said...

Riot of laughter over here. Yes, I had heard about the true confessions of Matthew's momma and thought that explained a whole lot. But, I must say that you sum it up better than anyone else ever could.

Christine said...

This is the first blog that I actually laugh out loud. You are a great writer and I have read all your recent posts.....also the comments are great. The corn-cob one had me rolling!


MKHKKH said...

You kill me! I heart Matthew and his tree! LOL. If only to be his baby mama for a day. Ahhhhhh. LOL.

Anonymous said...

This is my first time here and oh my!! Thanks for the laugh!!

Maybe momma was riding high, so no dead weight!! {wink}

The Wades said...

Love Michelle's comment--great stuff! Great post! I might have to run out and get this book.