Somehow I found myself in a very strange place today. I was alone and the house was quiet. I know... crazy. I did not know what to do with myself. I thought of doing some laundry or loading the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, but I quickly regained my lazy persona and decided to surf the web instead of actually doing something constructive. It is a rarity that I have a quiet house so I was not going to waste it by doing chores! Puleez!
I sat at my computer and thought... "what to do, what to do." I thought of things to write on this blog and came up with nothing (unless you wanted to read a post on the lady bugs that have invaded our house that aren't really lady bugs but their nasty orange cousins that fool us into thinking they are nice lady bugs.) I thought of balancing the checkbook, but that would fall under the "chore" category as well so I was not going there. I thought of browsing You Tube, but I have never really gotten into You Tube and if I did decide to browse it I would sit there are search for things like "new babies" or "puppies" and you know as well as I do that that would be a waste of my free time... and I would either end up at a Pet Store or buying ovulation kits so you can see that I need to avoid You Tube at all cost.
So I sat there poised, wondering what to do when I decided to start googling people from my past. I have never done this before... well, OK, maybe once of twice, but I have only googled my parents-which came up with something from the Irish Mafia that I quickly clicked off of because I have been trained since I was a child that you just don't question where the extra money comes from or why there is a severed finger in the freezer. I have also goggled my husband-which came up with nothing, my sisters-which again... nothing, and my in-laws which came up with stuff about Swiss Bank accounts that I made sure I saved to my favorites.
Today I started googling childhood friends, my high school boyfriends, and finally all of the people who were ever mean to me growing up... Ellen G, I am talking about you-where ever you are... either in jail or in Hollywood.
I don't know what I was expecting, but I would have thought that at least ONE person from my past would have been a huge success... but in the end I realized that they were all big disappointments. The saddest thing is that I saw how old I am getting. I cannot remember people's last names to save my life. It is very hard to google "John F-something, who lived on 86th St. I think and has a sister, or was it a brother, and a dad with the same name." Google gave me nothing on him. I did find one old boyfriend who I am happy to report was fat. That made me feel better after I read that he is part of some "Millionaire Club."
Finally I googled myself. Apparently I am a nobody as well since Google has no idea who the hell I am. What does this stupid computer know anyway.
What about you? Go Google yourself and see what you discover. I bet you may just be a professional football player or a underground musician and you didn't even know it!