I hate PMS. It sneaks up on me like a villain in the night and it makes my life a living hell. My family suffers, the dog suffers... perfect strangers suffer.
Each month I somehow magically forget about PMS, that is until I find myself in a clown suit holding a machine gun in search of the town water tower.
I am sure I have told all of my dear readers about the home we own in Nebraska but cannot move into it because we have renters in there who are not willing to move out SOOO we had to find another home to rent for a year until we can move back into our original home. OK-is everyone caught up? Keep up people, I am not in the mood to wait for slow readers...
Anyway, the home we rent is "technically" in the next town over, although if I crossed the street I would be in the same town that we own our home.
This may be the best advice I am about to ever give you... if you are PMSing do not, I repeat... DO NOT get in an argument with a librarian.
It seems that although we OWN a home in the town we love, we cannot use our library cards at the town library because we no longer LIVE in the town. Even though we PAY TAXES on the home we OWN, we cannot check out books at our favorite library because they are TOWN SNOBS!
I wrote a letter to the mayor, but he forwarded it on to the head librarian... the woman who basically kicked me out of the library with my 4 children in tow because I was not "whispering" my protest. Oh, and my cell phone rang while I was standing at the circulation desk (you know the circulation desk, the desk that only the librarian is allowed to cross or the penalty is death) and she looked down her nose at me and pointed to the sign taped on the circulation desk with no more than 2 lbs. of scotch tape that read "No Cell Phone Usage." So then I started protesting that because it could be my husband and he is a very very VERY important person... so important that he pays the taxes on the house that we OWN in the town that this library is in that we are not allowed to use because the librarian must not like blond women with 4 children.
I finally gave up and left because I was well into a hot flash/deep sweat and if I stayed any longer I would end up being arrested for strangling the town librarian.
OH-and before I forget... do not go shopping with your 13 year old while you are PMSing because chances are, she is PMSing at the same time and the police officer that pulls your van over as your race out of the mall parking lot will not understand your plight as a mother who is on the verge of a melt down because not only did she just spend 2 hours of hell with her daughter but she gets to go home to a husband who will look at her and say "What is wrong with you? Did you do a load of darks today? I have no boxer shorts clean. Do you wanna have sex tonight?"
It is a cruel cruel world.