7.07.2008

Step Away From The Circulation Desk...

I hate PMS. It sneaks up on me like a villain in the night and it makes my life a living hell. My family suffers, the dog suffers... perfect strangers suffer.

Each month I somehow magically forget about PMS, that is until I find myself in a clown suit holding a machine gun in search of the town water tower.

I am sure I have told all of my dear readers about the home we own in Nebraska but cannot move into it because we have renters in there who are not willing to move out SOOO we had to find another home to rent for a year until we can move back into our original home. OK-is everyone caught up? Keep up people, I am not in the mood to wait for slow readers...

Anyway, the home we rent is "technically" in the next town over, although if I crossed the street I would be in the same town that we own our home.

This may be the best advice I am about to ever give you... if you are PMSing do not, I repeat... DO NOT get in an argument with a librarian.

It seems that although we OWN a home in the town we love, we cannot use our library cards at the town library because we no longer LIVE in the town. Even though we PAY TAXES on the home we OWN, we cannot check out books at our favorite library because they are TOWN SNOBS!

I wrote a letter to the mayor, but he forwarded it on to the head librarian... the woman who basically kicked me out of the library with my 4 children in tow because I was not "whispering" my protest. Oh, and my cell phone rang while I was standing at the circulation desk (you know the circulation desk, the desk that only the librarian is allowed to cross or the penalty is death) and she looked down her nose at me and pointed to the sign taped on the circulation desk with no more than 2 lbs. of scotch tape that read "No Cell Phone Usage." So then I started protesting that because it could be my husband and he is a very very VERY important person... so important that he pays the taxes on the house that we OWN in the town that this library is in that we are not allowed to use because the librarian must not like blond women with 4 children.

I finally gave up and left because I was well into a hot flash/deep sweat and if I stayed any longer I would end up being arrested for strangling the town librarian.

OH-and before I forget... do not go shopping with your 13 year old while you are PMSing because chances are, she is PMSing at the same time and the police officer that pulls your van over as your race out of the mall parking lot will not understand your plight as a mother who is on the verge of a melt down because not only did she just spend 2 hours of hell with her daughter but she gets to go home to a husband who will look at her and say "What is wrong with you? Did you do a load of darks today? I have no boxer shorts clean. Do you wanna have sex tonight?"

It is a cruel cruel world.

24 comments:

Rob said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnFv29iPACc&feature=related

Barb, sfo said...

Yeah. Whose idea WAS it for women to get on the same cycle? My daughter and I now PMS together. How FUN.

annemcd said...

aaah, so that's my problem today...

Mau said...

When PMS rolls around, I advise all the boys in our house to move out. We have 4 girls and then me. Could be mother natures revenge. Librarians better watch out, I'm channeling Cruela D'Evil!

Mary Poppins NOT said...

As a mother of a 13 year old, I am in complete sympathy. Complete.

Robin said...

Have you seen the Saturday Night Live skit about the birth control that only lets you have 1 period a year? It talks about the kind of PMS you are describing. I can't remember what they called the pill, but search for it on youtube. I think you would get a kick out of it. And who do librarians think they are anyway? =)

Barb said...

I am crying with laughter right now, right on the money girlfriend, right on. I have 6 children, two of whom are GIRLS, 16 and 13. Need I say MORE?!

Shannon T said...

LOL I'm SO glad I just read this... I blogged yesterday about my own PMS-ing experience that I had this weekend... I'm lucky I didn't kill my husband... for CLEANING the house... strange world we live in, huh? :)

Soul Pockets said...

I am cracking up! I have two girls. They are only 9 and 3, so my husband has a few years before he needs to find a man cave.

momto5minnies said...

I have very little patience for those who don't have a lot going on upstairs

AND

I have 5 girls ... don't think I need to say anymore (LOL)

Aubrey said...

This left me laughing out loud! I'm still laughing as I think about it. Hope I didn't wake the baby.

Anonymous said...

June,
Ask that librarian if she is a legal resident...if not, say those now famous words, "You're fired!"
In our library the workers are louder than those of us who were taught to be quie while in a library. And I learned the hard way...at the Griffith Library in the 50's.
Love,
Aunt Barbara

Heather said...

You are so in good, or maybe make that bad, company this week! I could kill someone and not feel the least remorse for it during PMS time. Ever notice how the hubby always seems to be in male PMS mode the same week? I'm a tickin' time bomb - I'm telling ya! A train wreck just waiting to happen.

Jaibee said...

I am so good for the library system, because I always incur a late fee.... :) Isn't that ridiculous that they don't give you access? Apparently, residing across the street from town makes you suspect and untrustworthy.... Heehee, you could always say at the next election, you will propose a decrease in pay for all city employees -- as, you know, a taxpayer and landowner.... :)

momof3feistykids said...

*Laughing*

amy said...

I feel your pain--I am so there right now...I recently wrote a post about how PMS affects my faith life (such as it is) here, and a few PMS haiku here. Like your blog!

Cousin Steve said...

What the hell is a library??

Donna said...

"What the hell is a library??"

I'm a librarian in a university library, and we have seniors who ask that question. :)

Elizabeth said...

Laughing Out Loud...
You were definitely in the right.
Hope you are getting past the "worst" of it. Pax.

Lori said...

You should go to the library in the town you are currently "renting" in, and request interlibrary loans on books from the "forbidden town library" making twice the amount of work for the librarian!

Anonymous said...

We are enjoying your blog. Having a good laugh. Remember when my Mother was PSM ing and myself also.
Life was HELL>
Love Aunt Judi, Aunt Rose and MA
PS
Cousin Steve - What do you mean "What the hell is a Library" signed Mom

Anonymous said...

We are enjoying your blog. Having a good laugh. Remember when my Mother was PSM ing and myself also.
Life was HELL>
Love Aunt Judi, Aunt Rose and MA
PS
Cousin Steve - What do you mean "What the hell is a Library" signed Mom

Robert M. Lindsey said...

As a librarian, I am disappointed to hear your story.

Anonymous said...

Librarians are cool. Just get yourself hitched up where you check out a WHOLE bunch of books, and return them like the next week or so, and do that for the next 5 weeks, make friends w/ the kids librarian, etc. They really like that!! Coz they get federal revenue from how much is checked out and stuff. That's what I heard anyway.
Love your blog, TIna