My husband told me that there would not be trash pick-up today since it is Memorial Day. I believed him and we did not put the smelly trash bin out on the curb.
This morning I was folding towels. My most hated chore is to wash towels. I can always think of ten different clothing items that need to be washed before the towels and before I know it the linen closet is empty and I am drying myself off with a Chicken Little Beach towel. It is then and only then that I will toss a load of towels in the wash. If I were still using the Sponge Bob Beach towel I would not even think of doing a load of towels for at least 3 more days.
Anyway, seeing as I have been drying my butt off on Chicken Little's face, I decided to do a load of towels and was in the process of stuffing them in the linen closet when I heard a truck. I stopped dead in my tracks and listened. Was it a moving truck? No. Was it the UPS man? No. It couldn't be the garbage man could it?
I ran to the window to see the Garbage truck barrelling down our road! OH NO!
I took the stairs two at a time and leaped out the front door. I saw my teenage neighbor mowing his lawn and yelled "COLIN! GRAB MY CAN!!!" He looked at me as if I had said "COLIN! MEKA LEKA HI MEKA HINEY HO!" He had no idea what I was screaming at him. He quickly figured it out when he saw me pulling the 1000 lb. trash bin from the side of our house. Colin dragged my can to the curb (hahaha... dragged my can to the curb-that reminds me of college), and I lugged all of the trash bags that were piled up by the house attracting flies, raccoons, dogs, cats and the occasional chipmunk.
As I handed the last of our trash bags to our shirtless garbage man, he looked at me, glanced down at my bra-less chest and said "Thanks Sweetie."
I looked around to see my neighbor Stacey had run out in her braless pj's to take her trash out and my neighbor Michelle was running out with her bra-less pj's to give the garbage men Girl Scout cookies. She gives them Girl Scout cookies every year to say thanks for their service.
I just run out bra-less and in my pj's. I think that is a gift in and of itself.
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17 comments:
Oh I cannot count the number of times I have run out the front door at 6 am after being woke from a dead sleep by the sound of the garbage truck. Once I did not even get my robe completely done up, I sleep in skivies and under shirt. I am sure the trash man enjoys those mornings, with my bed head, no make up and half nekked body hauling the trash to the curb, he surely gets a good laugh from it. Last time my neighbor was leaving for work and I was in fine form just my husbands shirt and underwear..it was dark in the closet and I thought I grabbed the robe, oh well so he knows me better than he use to.
Sounds like young Colin saw a lot of the neighborhood that morning too! Can you imagine the stories that garbage men might have? Nicknames for various residents? Eeek!
bada-bing!
In the city I used to live in, trash service occured on holidays and the good men of the sanitation industry enjoyed double-time.
Where I live now, the trash day gets moved back one day after every holiday...
Which reminds me, trash needs to go out tonight!
Ha Ha I am picturing all the frantic bra-less women running out in their PJ's, very funny.
Oh yeah! The early morning, pj clad, nursed six kids, no bra, dash to the curb! My favorite!
Love your blog. I'm an Irish Catholic, homeschool mom and Air Force wife too!
Blessings
Oh my gosh that was me this morning, because my 18 year old son "forgot" to bring them to the street last night. You are too funny! Yep the early morning, pj clad, nursed six kids, no bra, dash to the curb!
Dee in La.
You know, I usually don't leave gushing comments on people's blogs, and I usually don't swear, but you are too f*&^ing hilarious! You should write a book! I never thought a story about trash could make me laugh at 6am.
yeah i'm always running the trash down to the curb bro-less. but i don't think the trash men get too excited about my man-boobs
"but i don't think the trash men get too excited about my man-boobs "
Now Rob, don't sell yourself short! I am sure your m'oobs are dead-sexy.
Sexy is as sexy does!
hilarious! i found you through a friend's blog and you seriously have a knack for telling a story! glad to know im not the only one who can be awakened from a deep slumber with the sound of a garbage truck and go immediately and simultaneously into panic and action mode! the braless part, only 2 nursed babies but could easily pass for 12 lol (hmm actually not so funny!
we had the pure joy of no trash pickup on Monday or Tuesday...no we had to wait a full week until Thursday morning for that nasty, I mean NASTY pile to be erased from our lives forever! In fact I should hear that truck at any moment now, musak to my ears!
Simple Sinner – I don’t like to brag but they are ‘real and spectacular’
Maybe if I moved to San Francisco the trash men there would appreciate them.
Love it! Love your blog!! Love the "Jambi" reference! You have me truly LOL'ing, girl!!
Ya know what really cracks me up. . . Our 13 year old insists on getting fully dressed--shoes and all--to take out the trash! puh-lease!!!!
"Simple Sinner – I don’t like to brag but they are ‘real and spectacular’"
Atta boy, Rob, that is what I am talkin' bout stud!
No repeat after me "I am a big beautiful man, who is dead sexy and full figured and no man or woman is going to lie to me and tell me I am not!"
Beer belly pride, lad, beer belly pride!
I just found your blog off someone else's blog page and I love it. You kinda remind me of my twisted-humor self!
I often wonder why anyone would want to be a garbage man and I think you just clarified it for me. All the women running out scantily clad must make that odor worth it!
My blog is protected cause I write things about my in-laws, but I saw your email address and have invited you to view it!
Can you imagine the garbage guys sitting around at the daily meeting.
'Hey Bob we ARE working Memorial Day right? Shhoooot. I just love how many mamas think we aren't and have to run out in their pajamas. Working Memorial day rocks. Damn straight!!"
I never really thought of being envious of a garbage man but as one of your consistent male readers, I now have one...Hope everything is going well.
Patrick L
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