5.09.2008

Holy Stretched Out Uterus Batman!

Well... the Duggars have done it again! Baby #18 is due on New Year's Day 2009!

Michelle Duggar has been pregnant for 11 years of her life. 11 YEARS!

I will not say those cruel things that I am sure they hear like "You know what causes that don't you?" or "Holy Crap are you crazy?????" No, I will not say such mean and hurtful things... but I will ask for a moment of silence for Michelle's stomach skin because you know as well as I do that there is no elastic left on that puppy whatsoever.

I complain about my Shar Pei-puppy like stomach. I could not imagine. I wonder if she has to tuck her stomach into her blue jeans. Ack!

How in the world do they remember the kids names? I bet they don't drink-they need to-but I bet they don't. That is probably how they are able to remember the names. Growing up in my family my sisters and I were all known as "ColCriClaire... YOU!" There were only three of us and my mother had a hard time with it. I have 4 children and cannot for the life of me remember the baby's name on most days and just yesterday I called our oldest by the dog's name.

All of the kid's have names that start with "J." After 18 you would think they would be running out. Eventually there will be a Jujubes Duggar and a Jump Rope Duggar, maybe even a Jingle Bells Duggar.

The dad... Jim Bob Duggar says that the key to their happy family is that everyone treats everyone as they would like to be treated. Ahhh, the old "golden rule." That didn't work in my house. I wanted to be left alone so I left the kids alone and they almost burned down the house, shaved the dog, painted the baby purple with (thankfully) washable markers, made signs that read "Honk if you are a serial killer" and posted them in the back windows of the car and called 911 to report me missing after I had locked myself in the bathroom to just take a 5 minute shower!

Congratulations Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar. You crazy kids.

16 comments:

momto5minnies said...

Now they are just bragging ... 18!

I would imagine her stomach is just stretched. She hasn't ever let 2 years go by without having another pregnancy. Basically she's pregnant before she is out of the postpartum stage. There is no way that she knows what a "back to normal" uterus is like.

Now I have had 5 children and the belly ain't too bad, but I prefer to stand straight up ... bending over causes waves. I like the smooth look ;)

the Mom said...

My belly isn't too bad, but after nursing 5 children I have to roll my boobs up like cinnamon rolls in order to get them into my bra.

Lorren said...

I don't think she wears jeans, Cris. That solves that problem. :)

Joyful Days said...

Ow. Eighteen...Ow. I look awful after two. But good for them, really. They seem really nice.

There were only two of us growing up and my parents still didn't get our names all the time. Sometimes we got the dog's name. My niece now gets called my name and her mother's name. Why would they do all the same letter?

Thankfully mine only painted each other with peanut butter.

momto5minnies said...

LOL! I can relate, my Mom and Dad got confused with our names ... Eileen, Elaine, and Heleen. I did have a brother, but thankfully his name is Thomas.

CONFUSION!!!!! I can't imagine 18 children all starting with the letter "J".

She is the calmest woman. I see no anxiety and to me that is just amazing! I couldn't do that many, but apparently she was meant to. We all see women who can barely handle a small number, but she does 17 with grace ... WOW!

I do worry about her uterus though ...

Abbie said...

Forget her tummy....what about her hoo ha?! Ouch....

Heather said...

Just one question for the Duggars -Why?????????? Oh why oh why????

Owens Family Adventures said...

GREAT GOOGALIE-MOOGALIE!! What the heck?!?!?!? I am going to have another cocktail now for her and her hoo-haw!!!!!!!!!!
dawn

Journey of Truth said...

The comments are as hilarious as the post!

Yes, her poor hoo-haw and ta-tas. I only have three (c-sections) and my stomach looks like hell. I can't imagine 18, but you know, I love their positive attitude and openness to life. I mean, I don't think they are even thinking about at all.

Happy Mother's Day, Cris!!

Chatty said...

Oh my - I read an article about these Duggers, and it was amazing. You should see the house they built - it has a cafeteria line in the kitchen. They travel in a full-sized bus, they DRESS ALIKE, and in the SAME COLORS (parents included) and the girls never wear pants, only skirts and dresses. They have an interesting website. I found out about them when she was in the hospital having just had baby 17. I had no idea another 9 months had passed!
Mainly, in addition to the laughs I always get here, I wanted to stop by and wish you a Happy Mother's Day. I hope you get spoiled rotten tomorrow - up to and including a TEN MINUTE shower with no audience!! Well, we can dream, can't we?

Anna B. said...

Growing up in my family my sisters and I were all known as "ColCriClaire... YOU!"

LMAO!! I do the same thing, JaiJulJoh, oh you know what I mean.

Thanks for the laughs, and Happy Mothers Day!!!

A Simple Sinner said...

Note also that they homeschool.

Oh that they were Catholics, we would be getting some priests and nuns out of the deal to be sure!

On the plus side, once you kick them all out of the nest and get them working, if you request each of them deposit $15 per paycheck in a bi-weekly pay scheme for a vacation fund for dear old mom and dad, you are looking at $7K a year. Invested at a rate of 11% a year for 20 years, you would be up to $500,000....

They will deserve it.

Lindsay said...

Holy stretched out uterus, how about holy stretched out hooters. On the TLC special about the fam she said she breastfed all of her kids. I know what mine were like after my one kid but 17 (soon to be 18)?!? No wonder she wears dresses, if only to hide her shoe boobs.

Rob said...

Bret Michaels new solo album is coming out June 3rd. will you: a) be camping out in front of the local Best Buy 3 days in advance. b) Down loading it from ITunes at 12:01am or c) jumping the first person that walks out of the store with it and swiping it from them to save a buck or two?

And I have no idea what this has to do with the Duggars. But I’m up late watching The Last Waltz on VH1 Classic and they keep advertising the Michaels album. Maybe Ma Duggar is a closet Posion fan...

Have a Happy Mothers Day

kristi said...

Well, I watched a show about them and basically the older ones take care of atleast 2 younger ones. So what happens when they start moving out??

A Simple Sinner said...

"Well, I watched a show about them and basically the older ones take care of atleast 2 younger ones. So what happens when they start moving out??"

Everyone is getting equally older! (one day at a time!)

My best guess would be that as the children get older they move up the chain of command.